Dissociating Self-Worth from Productivity - Why & How?

Before I begin, let me take this opportunity to thank you all for reading my work, providing feedback and sharing it with others. The last 2 years have been a whirlwind, they have been a time of self reflection. You would agree when I say that it has been a while since we received such opportunity to sit with ourselves and actually observe our lives. As tumultuous as it was, this time did present to us, a chance to get to know ourselves better. With most of us confined to a 'work from home' set up, the time we spent with others, or commuting to and from work went down significantly, allowing us more time to pursue something we always wanted to or to just THINK.

If you have read my work earlier, you know how much I value my journey as an individual. I have been making concerted efforts to spend time by myself to get to know myself better, it is very essential to my being. The pandemic handed that over to me on a plate. Diving deeper into my disappointment on the days I couldn't be as productive as I expected led to the realization that I was perpetually in the state of dissatisfaction. One of the biggest reasons was because I was associating my self-worth to how productive I was. Another reason was because, once I got better at something, I set higher goals, I continued to literally "extract" more from myself (it is an excellent approach for continual growth) but with lack of empathy and self-compassion, it can turn out to be a draining experience. Here are a few things I learnt along the way:

Why should one dissociate their Self-Worth from Productivity?

1. Adverse impact on mental and physical well-being: Honestly, two years ago, this would have been a trait I would have applauded but now I know, anything in excess is dangerous. The constant need to be productive can be daunting and it takes a toll on ones mental and physical health. There was a phase during the lock-down when I felt useless because I wasn't creating content as per my schedule and that was the tipping point. I pulled myself together and scraped my schedule to prioritize health over productivity. At that point I realized that I couldn't allow my productivity define my self worth. I do not mean to say that productivity is not a priority, what I do mean is that when the world is stricken by a pandemic, one should cut themselves some slack. Even otherwise, understanding where to draw a line is critical for long term, balanced life.
2. Loss of interest in the particular topic: This goes without saying, something you started with hope and excitement can get very daunting once it takes the form of a liability. It may be the most exciting job in the world, but once your lens gets tainted, it becomes very difficult to continue looking at the same thing from the perspective of FUN. That is the reason, work often becomes a task to do, a chore to just get done with. Constantly focusing on being productive could definitely sabotage your relationship with the work you enjoy and the anxiety and stress that accompanies all of this is extremely difficult to deal with. Especially, when there are multiple challenges facing you, the pandemic, an ill family member, uncertainty, mental health etc.
3. Jeopardizing relationships at work and home: Empathy deficit at workplace has become the most talked about workplace issues in the recent years, with studies showing an improvement (more on this in another article). However, productivity continues to supersede empathy when it comes to strict deadlines and client expectations and this can be a tricky situation to deal with. However, taking into consideration the track record of the employee, it is extremely important for employers to put in place contingency plans that account for unavailability in emergencies for any of the above reasons (point 2). Individuals that feel valued, secure and respected give back more than 100% in all their relationships (be it at work or outside).

Another aspect of over-doing productivity is dwindling family relationships. It isn't just about the lack of time spent, it's also the state of the mental health and head space that the said individual brings back home. A dissatisfied parent will often pass the same energy on to their kids. An individual who can dissociate their self-worth from productivity will not only be able to perform better work but will also be able to enjoy other aspects of life without losing balance.

How to deal with this?

Taking cue and evolving: I understand that professionally, one is expected to stay productive for as long as they are associated with a certain assignment and I highly respect that, however, as an individual one needs to understand that irrespective of what happens externally, they can go on at an inhuman, irrational pace only for so long. A dip in productivity is seldom a sign to push harder and reach a point of no return.

It is often the first sign to step back, take a break, rest, contemplate, change one's approach, reset and get back mindfully.

Every new version of yourself, every new opportunity, every new level unlocked, every little change will demand an evolved approach. If one continues to measure and approach productivity the same way they used to, they just invite more dissatisfaction and?loss of self-worth.

You can give back the best of what you have to offer, only when you are self-aware

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More importantly, you can enjoy what you do when you recognize the need to step back, assess and stop being your own worst critic.

The biggest change I am currently working on is being compassionate towards myself and allowing myself to grow beyond the confines of productivity. Why don't you give yourself the same chance?

I have been sitting on this article for a long, long time because I couldn't find the right words to express what I really wanted to. I, finally feel like I have managed to put my thoughts together and this is the outcome. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.