dissecting play: part deux.

We wrote a piece some days ago dissecting "play" in dogs, and what's actually happening when they engage in it. Thanks to the comments and questions that post inspired, we'll be answering what "appropriate" and "inappropriate" play looks like, and how we can best monitor it.

Like with human children, there's a level of appropriateness and inappropriateness when it comes to interacting and play. As adults, teachers, care-givers, and "parents", it's our job, role, and responsibility to monitor and supervise, and also advocate and step-in if and when the energy and intention takes a turn, things start to escalate, and interactions reach a certain level.

The first rule of thumb is, really, *know thy dog*. Some dogs are really vocal in play, which- to a stranger's ear- can come across as quite off-putting and uncomfortable. It's also very important to have a solid understanding of your dog's personality and levels of: sensitivity, intro- or extro-vertedness, comfort, tolerance, etc. Like people, there are many dogs who can become quite overwhelmed by lots of people, dogs, sounds, movement, etc. Dogs who do much better in calmer environments vs. busier ones. Smaller social circles vs. larger ones. Also, having an understanding of personal triggers is key.

Playing off of this is the second rule of thumb, *relationship*. As with humans, when we know each another well and have relationship, we understand when to take certain remarks or behaviors seriously, and when they get a "pass". We know what topics to avoid and which ones are "safe" to discuss. We have an understanding of what the boundaries are. There's a certain level of respect involved. It's very similar with dogs. Not only this, but dogs who know- without a doubt- we've got their back and can absolutely handle whatever the environment might throw their way, will feel far safer, more confident, comfortable, and secure in it.

The third rule of thumb is *intensity level*. State of mind, which measures level of arousal and excitement. There's a big difference between a "response" and a "reaction"; underlying this of which is state of mind. A "response" comes from a calmer, more grounded state of mind, whereas a "reaction" stems from an un-grounded, more excited one. Of course, our level and our dogs' level of comfort in interaction and play will vary in terms of relationship, meaning certain "allowances" will likely be made in accordance with this. But we should always monitor intensity level, especially when it comes to 2 dogs whom don't have a pre-existing relationship.

There are also dogs whom "missed the boat", so to speak, in terms of developing a strong foundation in social skills. Social skills are just that.... skills. And this critical period, depending on who you ask, ranges from 7 or 8 weeks to about 4 months of age. Many dogs, unfortunately, do miss this window, which doesn't necessarily mean the dog is doomed to a life of solitude and isolation; it just means we have to make a strong effort to build this.

All of this being said, we do need to redefine what "social behavior" means. The typical dog owner defines social behavior as their dog's ability to play with other dogs. We define it as "a dog's ability to share space respectfully". More simply put, a dog's ability to share space without being a jerk. Bullying is not allowed. Taunting is not allowed. Targeting is not allowed. Being too forceful or too assertive is not allowed. One-sided play (no balance, no give and take) is not allowed. Ganging up is not allowed. A dog is still practicing "social behavior" if he or she is hanging out on the sidelines watching and observing. Space is still being shared. And this is a-okay! (**We did a piece on "proxemics" not too long ago which might be of interest; the varying levels of "space": intimate, personal, social, public)

There are also dogs whom simply aren't "dogs interested in play". Much like there are people whom prefer spending a Friday night in their flannels curled up with a good book or movie vs. those who'd rather be at a club or a busy bar getting their weekend groove on. Know thy dog; respect thy dog. Don't put thy dog in situations that will create extreme discomfort and uneasiness in order to meet thy ideal of what social behavior is and "play". It's unfair, and will only diminish our dog's level of trust and respect in us.

Another thing to speak to is "play styles". Dogs each have different styles of play which will be influenced by breed, experience, and individual personality: boxing (jumping and pawing, like Boxers often do), body slamming (running full speed and slamming into another), chasing (which is something to carefully watch, especially when the chaser catches up with the chasee), wrestling (mouthiness, and a lot of body contact and movement), etc.

Dogs will also offer certain indications when trying to invite another dog to play, and also communicate level of threat... meaning there is none. One being the "play bow" (the dog places his or her elbows and front paws on the ground with their rear end in the air) and also rolling over.

In appropriate play, there's a balance of energy and interaction. There's also a level of "role reversal" where, for example, in a game of "chase", the chasee becomes the chaser.

The bottom line is this: know thy dog, advocate for thy dog, and don't put thy dog in unfair situations he or she may not be equipped to navigate or handle. Monitor states of mind and intensity levels, especially if there's no pre-existing relationship, and step in when necessary.

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