Dissecting Envy, Jealousy and Hate and how to get rid of these feelings
Xian Jun Loh
Executive Director, Institute of Materials Research and Engineering (IMRE), A*STAR
I dare say that three types of feelings ruin our days, spoil our holidays and just sets us off in anger. You start off with Envy, too much of it and you develop Jealousy, eventually too much of it leads to Hate.
In daily life, we often see that friends around us live better than ourselves. In the heart, there will be envy and more envy. Although this kind of psychology is very normal, it will deteriorate in the long term, and even affect our life, how can one get rid of this kind of psychology? How do we develop a positive attitude? How can I make myself better? Let's introduce some ways to make you have a healthy mind.
There is no bad thing about this envious and jealous psychology. If taken positively and in a friendly manner, one will make himself work harder and make himself better than them, but if you meet some narrow minded people, it will be difficult, and then it might be better to get rid of these thoughts.
Don't compare with others' strengths
Jealousy often comes from comparing your own weaknesses with others' strengths. Psychologists warn that it is not about yourself to have as much as others have. Their success does not mean that the number of "successful people" in the world has decreased, so it cannot be said that you can't succeed just because they are successful.
There are a lot more people who are struggling worse than you
There are always people who are not as good as you. When you are jealous, you may as well look at the people around you who are not as good as you, so you can appreciate what you have now.
Live for the day, be grateful for what you have
Don't be jealous of what you haven't yet got. Think about what you have, such as a happy family, a lovely child, etc. Moving your eyes to "I have" rather than "I want" will find "richness.".
Treat others with an encouraging mentality, win-win for all
When ever you feel jealous, try to change the thinking immediately, turn envy into good wishes for the other party. Understand the efforts, luck and struggle behind their success, sincerely congratulate them and motivate themselves with their success. Motivate yourself with their success. Endeavour to be as good as or better than them.
Believe in yourself
Each person's ability may be shown in different aspects, find their own special features, clarify the life goals, do not be discouraged by others' early success, or even easily change their direction, and believe that they will surely go out of a successful road.
How to make yourself better
Looking back on the past, life and destiny inadvertently changed themselves, sometimes you laugh, sometimes you suffer, those experiences would have settled down and become our valuable experience, we can improve ourselves, make their lives more wonderful than the past. So, start to act now and make yourself better.
To make yourself better, first learn to love yourself. Maybe you are busy working day and night, or you feel inferior because the people you like do not like you. You have your sadness. So resolve the sadness as the power of love. From today on, change your thinking life. Love yourself. It is not so easy to love yourself. Basically, we should take good care of our own food, drink and basic life. For example, you have to eat three meals, don't forget to eat breakfast; Remember to drink a few glasses of water every day; exercise and keep fit everyday. There are many people who have not done so. Love yourself, starting with taking care of your life and living. Focus on yourself instead of negative thoughts.
If you feel constantly jealous, and feel that it is difficult to be sincere and happy with others, how?
We should slowly repair it. It is not easy to change your own worries and habits. Only by persisting in the positive, mindfulness and thinking, and taking years as the unit, can we make real changes over time, not a temporary state. Consult people, seek the views of people around to get a balanced view. Ask if these sort of feelings are common.
If your sense of security is your wealth, how should you handle things?
Wealth is in your heart. Your life cannot have a price tag. When you have a lot of money, you may seem secure. But the sense of security is not equal to real security, as a person you are too reliant on something which is transient. The world is changeable. The ultimate problem in life is that money can not be solved, and wealth will not be brought to the next life. The wiser person will accumulate blessings, not money.
What if you are jealous of people who are more intelligent than you?
When you see people who are more than themselves, you should think: This is the result of the previous efforts of others. You need to fix them well now. People with a lot of jealousy must cultivate a broad mind. When they think of the world as being so big, there must be many people who are stronger than themselves. They are not the center and the top of the world. Everyone lives on their own cause, only to grasp their own cause is the most important.
Digital Marketing Specialist
1 年Thanks Xian, this is good perspective.
Director, DMPK | Experienced drug hunter | Early discovery to phase 1b | AI augmented drug discovery | Curious | Generalist | Beginner's mind
3 年Good one
talk about #product innovation #design thinking and #sustainability
3 年Good article ! thank you for sharing ! The part of our brain which is "reactive" drives these traits. It require practice of get rid off these.
?????????????????? transform ???????????? ???????????????????? ? Nurturer ? Educator ? Advisor ? Heritage Culture ? Community Befriender ? I Achieve Best with Coaching People & Innovating Possibilities into the Future
3 年Xian Jun Loh, FRSC, FIET, FIMMM Believe! Simple yet Powerful ????????
Division Director at IMRE, A*STAR ??Attitude That Drives Everything?? Be Your Own Brand, Create Your Own Trend??#ivanmotivation ??
3 年Xian Jun Loh, FRSC, FIET, FIMMM Very True! Nice article sharing! ?? Growth mindset and Attitude drives everything.