Disruptive Transformation: Radical Growth from Lived Experiences

Life is unpredictable. Change is inevitable. Disruptions can upend you entirely, especially when you aren't prepared for them. It can be devastating. Yet, what if there is a way to grow stronger through these upheavals and lived experiences? Imagine how Disruptive Transformation can teach you to thrive and not just simply survive when upheavals occur, and lead you forward.

The catalyst for my disruptive transformation occurred on May 27th, 2020–a pivotal date in my life. I now anchor my milestones in reverence of that date. Just two months prior, I had launched the PairAnything app .?A year before, I won $10,000 from the UC Davis Big Bang! Competition that allowed me to build the app prototype. Now, three years later, that same app has evolved to help retailers, wineries and restaurants elevate consumer wine experiences.

Returning to May 27th, 2020–a date that forever changed my life–well, what happened on that date? My mom passed away unexpectedly in the midst of a global pandemic. The depth of loss I experienced paralyzed me. I never felt so broken and so alone. Of course, I had experienced disruptions in life before, but this was like nothing I’d gone through. This one was all-consuming. I’ve felt grief before in other forms—through the loss of a significant relationship or a job, but the passing of a loved one threw me into an alternate universe.

Because my reality and perspective were profoundly changed, I recognized this disruption to be different than any before it. It demanded my attention. Loudly. I was forced to move forward without the most important being in my life and because of this, I was forced to transform. When I reflect back on how this personal loss has transformed me, it wasn’t the fact that it happened that was most significant. I knew that it did and that I couldn’t change it. It was how I chose to deal with what happened and how it changed and molded me into the person I am today. It was a next-level transformation. Have you ever felt a burst of growth, whether it’s physical, emotional or spiritual that leaves you significantly different from the person you were before? That catalyst to growth is what I call Disruptive Transformation.

A year after my mom’s passing, I tried to make sense of my thoughts and feelings. I shared how I pulled myself up and continued my entrepreneurial journey in Thriving with Empathy , and how she was the inspiration for PairAnything . This year, I put to words the disruptive transformation that changed me greatly in ways I never would have expected had I not experienced her loss.

How Disruptive Transformation Leads Me Forward

• A Call to Courage: When an unexpected event shakes up life as you know it, you may feel unsettled, uncertain and unable to move forward. You may feel emotionally raw and exposed. What may seem like weakness, through new lenses, can be seen as courage. In my current altered state, I lean more into my vulnerability, however uncomfortable it feels. I learn to occupy a larger space with my authentic self, front and center. I’ve realized disruptive change often reveals the best and most resilient version of yourself. A version you never could’ve imagined. All one must do is have the courage to move forward, step by step.?
• Grace upon Grace: More than before, I am grateful to have the life I do. That gratitude extends beyond appreciation. It is recognizing all the sources of goodness that lie outside of myself. Because gratitude flourishes in the sphere of grace. With an open heart, I guide my actions, and grace extends outward to myself and to others. Through this practice, I honor the person who brought me into this world, who was the epitome of grace.
• Personal Agility: As I came face-to-face with my personal loss, I opened up more and allowed myself to grow considerably. Through reframing my life-altering experience, my mindset shifted for how I think about myself and the world around me. I gained personal agility, a new superpower. By willing myself to continue moving forward, I learn to adapt and create success in an uncertain world that is guaranteed to be filled with challenges and obstacles. I am resilient and durable, which allows me to be flexible in figuring out my next steps, in a conscious and intentional way built around what matters most.?

Moments of unsettling disruption in life can be converted into new possibilities. I get to be the change I want to see in this world, as I change within.

As I take this poignant moment to reflect on that fateful day, I am in awe of the life lessons I have learned since. The lowest point of my life has led me to be courageous, to be filled with grace, and to adapt to any adversity that comes my way. Moments of unsettling disruption in life can be converted into new possibilities. I get to be the change I want to see in this world, as I change within.

Though bittersweet, I am grateful for my disruptive transformation. It’s a testament to my mom’s continuing impact on me to be a better person, operating from a place of grace built on true gratitude.