Disorganized Attachment Style
Alice Kimani (A.Kim)
Content Strategist & Ghostwriter for CEOs, Founders & Executives | Helping Brands Scale & Generate Revenue with Conversion-Driven Messaging
So, attachment styles are like, totally having their 15 minutes of fame right now. You can't scroll through social media without bumping into a quiz, meme, or TikTok about it.
It's like everyone woke up one day and decided they were suddenly Dr. Phil!
Despite its sudden ubiquity, this stuff isn’t actually new: It was created in the early part of the 20th century by British psychologist John Bowlby.
It got real popular after WWII, as psychoanalysts studied the impact of trauma and separation on young children.
Today it's a common tool used by therapists to assist their patients in understanding their feelings in romantic, platonic, familial, and occupational relationships.
Heavy stuff, right? ???????????????????????
Now, we've got these four attachment styles that everyone's obsessing over:
We're gonna focus on that last one 'cause it's the rarest and most misunderstood.
Disorganized attachment style is a complex blend of anxious/preoccupied and avoidant/dismissive styles. All three crave connection but harbor distinct fears.
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People with this style are like emotional rollercoasters. One minute they're all "don't leave me!", the next they're pushing you away.
Talk about exhausting! ??
While anxious peeps are terrified of getting dumped and avoidant folks are scared of losing their freedom, disorganized folks are just... a hot mess.
They don't have a clue how to handle stress or emotional threats.
As kids, they'd be so excited for their parents to come home, but as soon as they walked in, BAM! Total meltdown. Talk about mixed signals!
And guess what?
That drama follows you into adulthood. So if you were that kid who couldn't make up their mind, chances are you're still driving your partners crazy.
Don’t beat yourself up though, if this is your style.
We've all got a little bit of everything in us. All you’ve gotta do is recognize your patterns and work on them.