The Dishwasher

I was just in Pennsylvania for a conference and was able to tack on a visit with my parents. They’ve recently made the Big Decision to downsize and move to a “continuum of care” community. Both are still healthy, still going to the gym, volunteering, and traveling. This decision is about them doing it on their terms. So, I wanted to help them do some sorting and such.

This blog is not about their decision. It’s about the dishwasher.

My sister came over one night and the four of us were in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. My Ma was washing the dishes, as she does, before loading the dishwasher. I started laughing and asked if they’d seen the commercial with this little girl who, in a truth-inducing snark, asks, “if you’re washing the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher, what does the dishwasher DO?”

My Ma laughed and said, “shut up and load the dishwasher”. My Daddy (yes, I’m 50 and yes, I still call him Daddy) laughed and said, “Remember, there are two ways to load the dishwasher. The wrong way, and your Mother’s way”. Then we all laughed. Then I got genuinely nervous that I was going to do it wrong. (Yes, 50. Yes, therapy.)  My Ma keeps an immaculate house. Everything has a place. I realized in my 50 years, I’ve never loaded the dishwasher at my parents house.

I asked, “utensils up or down?” Up. “Do you load glasses in the back or the front first?” Small in back, big in front. I then ~somewhat~ jokingly said, “If I hear you out here in the middle of the night re-loading this, I’m going to be pissed”. She assured me she sleeps like a baby and would do no such thing.

Isn’t it funny how expectations do funny things to us? The bar is high. I wanted to do a good job. I wanted to perform the task. I also knew there was a right way and a wrong way. Ask my sister. She recently visited me in Denver and was literally appalled at the haphazard way I chuck things into my own dishwasher.

Yet we want to set expectations for our staff. Good leaders and HR professionals talk about it all the time. Ensuring expectations are clear. I guess it’s how the expectation FEELS. Is it the ‘what’ we care about – the result, or the ‘how’ said objective is achieved? Obviously, there are times when procedures are necessary, and safety is always a consideration…

My Ma really didn’t care how I loaded the dishes, I put that pressure on myself. Well, self-inflicted pressure and my ever-helpful sister harping at me but that’s another blog.

What is the dishwasher of your department?

Is there work you’ve over-outlined or processed to death? How does your staff feel about the processes and expectations of your leadership? Will they speak up if they have a different or better way?

What if we let people just figure more stuff out? You know, that empowerment thing good leaders and HR professional also talk about quite often. Allow people autonomy where you can. Remember to be there to support and answer questions, just like my Ma.

Footnote: My dishes come out clean despite my ill-fated loading skills because I have a really good, high - quality dishwasher. Right tool for the job. BOOM, sis!!