Disguised authenticity

Love this topic. Love. Love. Love. And the reason why I love it, is that Being Authentic is such a trendy movement right now, that on majority of cases it becomes 3F authenticity - Forced, Fake and Framed.

If you search on a web you will notice several rather similar definitions of the concept “be authentic”. Most common descriptions include: “be true to your own values, beliefs and personality”; “behave and act with congruence regardless of the pressure on you to act otherwise”. I would even like to shout out “BINGO” to wording “regardless of the pressure from others - be true to your personality and values”.

So far so good. But we are not living in a vacuum, so the pressure comes in the game.

And what we see is bunch of people (self-claimed authenticity Gurus) putting a pressure on others… to BE authentic. Funniest in this pressure is not about inviting people to stand up for their own values, to express themselves freely, but to tell people how they have to behave, think, talk and just be in order to call themselves authentic!!! What a hypocrisy!

The real problem starts only when you believe in those “either, or” options and frameworks designed by someone else. Designed by someone else and based on their agenda and intentions for you to follow. Totally fine as soon as you share same values and beliefs. What happens when you realise you are different from those “trend setters” and allowed to act on your own agenda and framework? Allowed to think differently and it’s as valid as other frameworks.

The same happens in business world and in leadership approaches. Leaders and business owners are told all the time how to be, how to look, how to speak to other people, how to present themselves, how to lead people, how to run the business so it “counts”. Those “how to” may be taken as guidelines, which is totally fine. It’s not fine anymore when it is a clear pressure to obey a certain IDOL TEMPLATE. Especially when presented as slogan: “Do this or count yourself a loser”. Yes, there are certain rules, common understandings and business principles to be taken into account. Well, nobody tells: be an a**hole to everyone because you feel your true self in that way. We still live in a society.

But..If any of the frameworks, mindsets, approaches does not resonate with you - even opposite - it frustrates you, do not obey it, do not integrate it as an only true path to your success!

Have you thought that there are so many people looking around and thinking that they are not that kind of a “right” person? Because they can’t find the community, “tribe” sharing same values, beliefs, be on the same wave and to feel belonging with that group. It’s not that those groups and people are not there. It’s because they are hiding their true values and beliefs from anyone around them. They are too busy listening and applying “true authenticity” framework on themselves, so they can be claimed “the real ones” - real leaders, real business owners, real friends, real parents, real influences etc..

The ones who have the voice to be an example to more than one person (themselves) by choosing NOT to embrace, follow and show their true selfs, true values are basically robbing other people -robbing the ones who share same values and beliefs, the ones who are seeking to find like-minded people but are left alone thinking that they are some kind of “wrong people” because they cannot see themselves in any of the “true authentic” frameworks.