Discussion: Mirroring vs Masking Two sides of the same coin or two different sets of behavior?

#adhdmasking #mirroring #copingmechanisms #neurodivergents

What's your perspective on the nuances between mirroring and masking? Are they simply different sides of the same coin, or do they represent distinct styles of behavior? Let's dive into it!

Mirroring, whether conscious or unconscious, involves matching another person's behavior, vocal tones, rhythms, and actions. While it's not exclusive to neurodivergent individuals, it often comes more naturally to them. Mirroring might occur instinctively or be taught as a way to navigate social and professional environments. Among neurotypicals, it's frequently employed in sales or negotiations to establish rapport and break down barriers.

On the flip side, masking entails suppressing certain behaviors, actions, or verbal habits to blend in or conceal challenges that might otherwise stand out. It's a coping mechanism that's commonly observed in hyperactive children who restrain themselves at school, only to release pent-up stress at home. Unfortunately, as adults, we often carry these masking techniques into our daily lives, attempting to meet increasing demands and responsibilities at a cost. The discouraging aspect of masking is that it teaches us to cope by mimicking neurotypical behavior, which ultimately exacerbates issues and leads to further emotional and mental trauma.

In essence, masking is a survival mechanism to navigate the daily challenges of living in a world that struggles to understand neurodiversity.

While mirroring can certainly be a valuable component of masking, I view them as distinct concepts. Masking is primarily a coping mechanism whereas mirroring is like having a Swiss army knife in your social toolkit—it's not just about blending in, but also about learning, adapting, and thriving.

I have seen clients learn how to do a new skill simply by watching someone else do the job.? They were then able to walk through the steps, analyzing as they did it for why each step was important and completing it with little error.

I have also had clients tell me how they can stay calm and focused around particular individuals and be mindful of certain tasks and routines that on their own, they wouldn’t have the focus or energy, nor even thought of doing them in that manner if they had been at home.? ?

Others will choose to call a person who always makes them feel energized because their speech patterns reflect their high, positive energy.? As a result, my clients feel more positive and energized from mirroring that attitude.

In all of these cases, there was no feeling of attempting to hide any behavior, but more of a syncing of energy that allowed their brain to function differently.

What do you think?? Am I giving too much credit to mirroring?? Is it more of a component in masking that I am seeing?? Give me your take on this!