Discussing This Week's Events

The More We Act To Stop Hate, The More It Seems to Flourish

If you haven't seen the news or heard about the shooting at the Tops Supermarket in Buffalo, NY you are either purposely trying to avoid the media or are a Monk.

However, if you are a Monk, here is the story.

Let's start with the obvious, this was a senseless tragedy of the highest order. There is no justification of any kind that anyone can give me for why 13 people were left dead or wounded.

Now, let's take a look further. The shooter was an 18-year-old. Do you know what 18 year-olds know? Next to nothing. They are at the start of their life journey. Something we do know is that that age we are extremely impressionable which is exactly what this young man claimed in his manifesto. He claimed to have been radicalized online and believed in 'The great replacement theory.' I am not capitalizing that because it doesn't deserve to be. However, you can learn more about the theory here...

I will never know what it is like to be a Black person and hear about a story like this. What I can say is the more I sat with myself when I hear about it, the more frustrated I got. I was frustrated because for all the signs of 'progress' that have happened since George Floyd, there is clearly extremists that have realized progress was starting to finally happen and are doing everything they can to push back 100x harder than ever before.

Don't ask me for a solution, I don't have one. A good start would be if more and more white men and women would stop being passive observers and start showing up when and where it matters. No more leaving it to teachers to teach children about racism. For one thing, our school systems do not teach the true history of America. For another, isn't placing the responsibility on someone else a very 'white' thing to do? How about parents taking ownership of how their impressionable children see and react to the world around them. As parents, we are the ones our children model themselves after. If we ignore something, they will too.

A Proud Moment Brings Up a Lot of Emotions

On the right is my cousin Zach. This week he proudly graduated from Virginia Tech and now moves onto Miami where he will go into a realtor program for 18 months.

Looking at him, you might wonder why this stirs up a lot of emotions.

The truth is, hidden behind the smile, Zach had to go through this celebratory event without his best friend, his brother Matthew.

In 2015, a year after graduating from University of Maryland and starting his career, Matt was killed in a car accident that was the result of some seriously bad decisions, and not on Matt's part. Two drivers were speed racing when they realized they were going to hit each other and one slammed into the median, flipping over and landing on Matt's car.

In the blink of an instant, a young man's life was over right as it was beginning and Zach was left to fend for himself.

Now, Zach is reaching the same point in his life his brother was at. While I know that no two stories are the same, I can't help but want to protect him, knowing full well I can't.

No family should ever have to go through the loss of a child. For anyone who has, my thoughts are with you.

The One Thing I haven't Overcome

For the last 18 months, I have felt more success than in the previous 35 years of my life. I have a new career, I have loyal followers, an incredible group of friends, the most amazing children and a wife I admire more and more each day.

Yet, for all my success I was also knowingly failing.

To provide some context, I have always had an addictive relationship with food. It was my comfort when I needed it. It raised my serotonin levels when I needed to balance myself out. It is my vice.

Most people would never have known because growing up I was in great shape. In fact, for about a 5 year timeframe, I could not gain an ounce. My metabolism was a beautiful thing.

Behind my metabolism was someone that would eat a box of S'Mores Pop Tarts in one sitting then go for more. I would eat 3 New York Bagels with cream cheese without thinking about it.

My parents would try to get me to eat healthier but I became a king sneak.

Then at age 26 my life changed. I was in a car accident that left my back in severely bad shape and around this time my metabolism started to slow down. When I moved to California, it was made worse by a second car accident.

I tried rehab, I tried walking and exercise. The older I got and the more that I did, the more it seemed like everytime I tried to get in better shape, my hip would give out and I would be in bed for a week leaving my wife the brunt of taking care of the children.

At some point, I just gave up. I stopped going to walks, stopped exercising and even though I tried to watch what I ate, I would make excuses for myself. 'i'll be ok if I only eat one,' 'I haven't had much to eat today I can splurge.' I started ordering in more and more and I felt gross.

I also avoided going to the doctor and getting the blood tests my doctor had ordered.

However, last week, I was forced to see a doctor and get those tests.

The scale read, 241. I feel ashamed, horrified, depressed. This is the heaviest I have ever been by a fairly wide margin. I ideally sit between 200-210lbs leaving me 30-40lbs to lose.

I also have high cholesterol, which runs in my family and am pre-diabetic.

It could have been worse. I get that. But my fear is not being able to make the changes I need to.

I started off the right way, I am on week 2 of intermittent fasting and have kept to it. I have also started going for walks around my neighborhood. I am going slow, having been inactive for the better part of two years. I am building up, and I love the fresh air. I have missed it.

That part I can commit to. That I know I can keep up with. The scary part for me is learning to eat right with fruits and vegetables I have avoided my entire life. I don't like a ton of foods. For example, my favorite salad is Caesar. The only salad I eat, is Caesar.

I do not know if it is something I can overcome...but I have to.

For those out there that are suffering from an eating disorder, I am with you.

My name is Dan and I am an Overeater.