Discovering ADHD as a Woman: My Journey to Self-Acceptance and Advocacy

Introduction

At the age of 46, I received a diagnosis that transformed my understanding of myself: ADHD. This revelation came to light following my daughter's diagnosis, prompting a reflection on my own experiences. Until that point, I believed my thoughts and behaviours were typical, never suspecting that my struggles were rooted in ADHD. As a bright and polite student, my difficulties went unnoticed, and I learned to mask my challenges. Despite achieving success in my career, I often felt out of place, misunderstood, and overwhelmed. This is my story of navigating life with undiagnosed ADHD, the relief of finally understanding my brain, and my mission to advocate for greater acceptance and understanding for others like me.

The Masking Years: Growing Up with Undiagnosed ADHD

Growing up, I always felt like everyone else knew something I didn't know; everyone else seemed to understand the rules; I felt like I took up too much space; I couldn't do homework or coursework; I would not think before I spoke, and I was clumsy. With the amount of criticism I received at home and school, it is no surprise to learn that those with ADHD are likely to receive five times more criticism than other children growing up. Is it any wonder that we have self-esteem issues? But that said, my struggles were overlooked at school. Despite this, I performed well enough in exams to avoid drawing attention to my difficulties and achieved reasonable results in my GCSEs. I wonder what I could have been had I felt like school was a place to thrive and if I would have still left at 16.

Finding My Path: Professional Success and Personal Challenges

In my professional life, I found that certain traits associated with ADHD, such as the need to please people and justice sensitivity, worked to my advantage. Being a people pleaser, I always worked hard and went the extra mile; my energy meant I was always enthusiastic and delivered. The justice sensitivity made me a passionate and effective advocate as an HR professional. Maintaining high levels of organisation has always been a necessity rather than a choice.

Working at this pace all the time can lead to burnout, and by the end of each workday, I was exhausted, having given my all to everything. This cycle of burnout is a constant companion. But it has also pushed me to develop coping strategies to manage my daily life.

The Turning Point: Diagnosis and Self-Acceptance

The diagnosis of ADHD was a turning point for me. It brought a profound sense of relief and self-acceptance. Understanding that my brain worked differently and that these differences were not flaws but variations helped me embrace who I am. The ADHD adult podcast became invaluable, offering insights and a sense of community and belonging I had missed. Starting the Disability and Neurodivergent employee network has also given me a place to be with people who think more like me. I have found my people. Running became a crucial outlet, providing physical and mental relief from the stresses of daily life, I am delighted to be a co-founder and Director of Running on Empty, a community interest (not for profit) company that encourages running as a way to improve mental health, I am proud of the community we have built so far and I look forward to continuing with this passion project.

The Reality of ADHD: Beyond the Superpower Narrative

I often hear ADHD described as a superpower. While I understand the sentiment, I believe it's essential to recognise that ADHD is simply a different way of thinking in a world not designed for such brains. Any "superpowers" I might possess are merely the result of my brain's unique functioning. This perspective is crucial for fostering self-acceptance among those with ADHD and for educating others about the true nature of this condition.

Advocacy and Education: My Mission

I am committed to promoting self-acceptance among those with ADHD. Emotional regulation remains a significant challenge; I take things personally and can become very upset. However, understanding these emotional patterns has been a critical step towards managing them.

As an HR Director, I am uniquely positioned to influence change within my business and the Security industry. By publishing articles and speaking at events in both the security industry and HR field, I can raise awareness and drive understanding of ADHD. My journey has taught me that self-acceptance is a powerful tool, and I want others with ADHD to experience this sense of understanding and peace. I strive to educate others about ADHD, dispelling myths and highlighting the reality of living with this kind of brain. Through advocacy and education, I can't make the path to diagnosis smoother. Still, I can help create a more inclusive environment for all ADHDers so that we can be our unique selves.

Conclusion

Being diagnosed with ADHD at 46 was a turning point that allowed me to understand and accept myself in ways I never had before. My experiences have fueled my passion for advocacy and education. I am determined to make a difference for others who walk a similar path. ADHD is not a superpower but a different way of thinking that brings challenges and strengths. By embracing our unique brains, we can achieve self-acceptance and thrive in a world that is gradually becoming more understanding of neurodiversity.