Discover your theme - What's your soft & strong?

It's 1 month into 2024. Have you been keeping up with your goals?

Whether yes or no, it's not my focus today :)

Today, I want to move beyond the “what to achieve” and shift my focus to your Being; and I have a short, fun, and meaningful activity for you.

Your Being is the foundation of all the “what to achieve” and “how to achieve”.

So instead of goals, I find that it’s much more valuable to pause and reflect on the following:

“How would I want to show up for myself, my loved ones, and my work?”

“What qualities do I want to infuse into my life and work that will make the quality of my life better?”

When I reflect on these questions, I would like to bring in two elements.

A “soft/light” element and a more “strong/driven” element.

This is what I feel most motivational gurus miss out on. It’s always about going harder and faster.

Being someone who always pushed myself harder and harder, I missed out on a lot of the “softer elements” which led to immense self-doubt and the feeling of burnout.

So, I deeply feel that it’s not one OR the other.

Only softness without strength – you don’t grow.

Only strength without softness – you burnout and break.

So, let’s start with the “Driven” element first.

(i) Take a moment to reflect upon 2023 – Were there any regrets?

Regrets are not always bad.

It can be a valuable insight into how you can pivot and shift in your life. Now that there’s still time to make these changes, it’s okay to look at regrets and decide to do things differently.

Let’s not wait to review regrets when it’s too late.

What do you wish that you could have done differently?

If you feel like there’s an inner critic beating you up as you look at what you wish you could have done differently, I want you to assure him or her that "hey it’s okay, what’s past is past. I am now choosing to do things differently. It’s not too late."

(ii) Now, which of the following qualities will propel you towards living at your highest potential this year minimizing regrets? Choose ONE.

• Bold
• Courageous
• Determined
• Focused
• Committed
• Persistent
• Powerful
• Purposeful
• Adventurous
• Brave
• Accomplish
• Grow

Do you have it? Write it down.

Now, let’s move on to the “Softer” element.

Which of the following words feels like a warm balm to your heart, something that your soul is yearning for?

When you read it, your heart feels warm or lighted up. Your body is at ease.

This quality will be a nurturing one, a quality for you to hold close to your heart when things get tough.

Choose one from the below.

• Joyfully
• Lovingly
• Gently
• Graciously
• Devotedly
• Spontaneously
• Generously
• Radiantly
• Patiently
• Trustingly
• Playfully
• Calmly

Now, combine the “Soft” and “Driven” elements.

For example: It can be Gently Persistent; Spontaneously Brave; Graciously Powerful; Patiently Accomplish

Write it down, say it out loud.

Then, check in with your heart – does this resonate with me?

If not, experiment with a different combination.

Say it again. Feel it in your body.

Trust your heart, trust your intuition.

This year, I landed on Lovingly Bold.

As I reflect upon 2023, I feel that I was courageous in stepping out of my comfort zone. What I noticed is that I was still very cautious and that held me back. So, this year, I want to invite boldness in my being and let it flow into my work. It doesn’t necessarily mean big financial goals – it’s a state of being that I want to embody. To speak up boldly, to share my ideas boldly, to learn boldly, to boldly dream of what’s possible for my work. When these happen, I know that money will take care of itself.

I was also going through challenging times personally in 2023 and without self-compassion, it would have been even tougher. So, this year I want to extend the same attitude of loving kindness into my being and in turn, let it radiate through my work. I know, there will be ups and downs and this loving attitude will carry me through it all.

Bear in mind that the list above is non-exhaustive. I have narrowed it down to 12 so that it’s not too overwhelming for you.

If you have a specific word that resonates deeply with you outside of this list, go with that.

My invitation is to choose a soft/playful element and combine it with a driven/determined element.

Life is never black or white. It’s a colorful spectrum.

You are both soft and strong.

By embracing these different parts, that’s how you become resilient.

Also, please don’t be a perfectionist and try to come up with the BEST combo.

“What if the situation changes during the year?”

You are free to change it during the year! It’s your theme and your being.

If a yearly theme is too much, choose what you believe will serve you for the next 3 months.

Then, let it sink in within you.

Repeat it. Let it live in your mind and your body.

When you are caught in a dilemma – ask yourself, what would embodying my chosen quality look like in this situation?

When you are feeling insecure and lost – ask yourself, what would a person with my chosen quality do?

You will be surprised by how I am already showing up differently and taking actions that serve me when I remind myself to be Lovingly Bold.

Message me and share with me – what are your chosen words?

I would love to hear and witness you.

With love,

TJ

PS: Making a decision that it's time to change what's not working is one the most important decisions you can make for your career and your life. There's no best timing. Apply for a coaching discovery session today because you know, there's so much more in you. Applications close on Feb 4th. You don't have to do it alone. I am here to support you to move beyond self-doubt and empower you to live your best life.

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