Discover the #1 reason people blame other people.
Mack Story, Blue-Collar Leadership?
Developing the Blue-Collar Workforce and those who lead them.?│Author of 15 Books│Leadership Speaker│Trainer
Have you ever really thought about it? Why is it so hard for us to accept responsibility for everything in our lives? It's really very simple. But, before I share my thoughts, there is one thing I want to discuss: truth.
"If the truth hurts, it probably should." ~ unknown
The truth about the truth.
I read the above quote once on a sign more than 30 years ago as a teenager, but it has stuck with me for the rest of my life. Over those 30 plus years, I've learned most people don't like to hear the truth. For many years, I didn't want to hear the truth. Why? Because of what it feels like on the inside.
Of course, many of us are too insecure and won't admit it to ourselves much less admit it to others, so we tend to get angry to mask the inner feelings of disgust we often have with ourselves. Disgust with self because we let ourselves down once again. The more we've let ourselves down the stronger the feelings of disgust will be and the stronger the feelings of anger will be.
When "the truth hurts," we feel disgust because we know we could have and we should have made different choices in the past. In our heart, we know we are ultimately responsible for what's "wrong" in our lives regardless of what it is. It's easy to see when we reflect on the past through the lens of truth and choice how different choices could have led us to a better place, better results, and a better outcome.
Why is it so hard for us to accept responsibility?
People who are unwilling to accept responsibility are lazy and lack character. That's some more truth.
For the weak among us, reading those words will cause hurt. That's how it works. They will get angry as they've conditioned themselves to do when they hear or feel "the truth." They may even blame me because they believe others are responsible for their feelings too.
Other people do not determine our feelings. Our thoughts determine our feelings. But, what determines our thoughts? Our values. If we value accepting responsibility for our lives, we will feel one way, and when things aren't right, we will look in the mirror at self. If we value transferring responsibility for our lives, we will feel another way, and when things aren't right, we will point the finger of blame at others.
Our values lead to our thoughts. Our thoughts lead to our feelings. Our feelings lead to our actions. Our actions lead to our results. Our results shape our life.
You see, when we convince ourselves others are to blame, all we must do is point the finger at them as we attempt to sway the opinions of others as to who needs to change in order to make things better for us. Once we convince ourselves we are not responsible, there is nothing we feel we must do. If we feel someone else is responsible, we believe they must do everything, and we must do "no" thing.
Choose to accept responsibility for your future.
When we choose to become responsible for our lives, we must do everything. The truth is our character will determine whether or not we accept responsibility for our circumstances or whether we blame others for our circumstances.
I don't know about you, but I do know about me. I know what's best for me. I care about me. I know what I like and what I don't like. I know where I want to be and where I don't want to be. I know what I will do and what I won't do.
I know I don't want others deciding the circumstances I will or won't live in or the direction my life will take. I will accept responsibility for everything in my life. Will you truly accept responsibility for everything in your life?
I accept responsibility for myself and my circumstances...good or bad. Today, I would never even consider blaming others for what I don't like about my life. Actually, because I stopped blaming others years ago, my life is much better today. The things I complained about and didn't like are no longer in my life.
In the past, I blamed everyone for everything. Today, I don't blame anyone for anything.
Let's end with this truth: Whatever is wrong in your life, you are responsible for making it right.
If you're unwilling to pay the price to create the life you want, you will pay the higher price of living a life you don't want.
FREE downloads available:
Click here now for a FREE download of the entire leadership principle-packed Chapter 11, "Get Out of the Way and Lead" from the first book in my Demystifying Leadership Series: Defining Influence. In this nearly 20 page chapter, I share about:
· Managing vs Leading
· Scarcity vs Abundance
· Formal Authority vs Moral Authority
· The 5 Types of Leaders
· Compare/Contrast 17 Manager vs Leader Perspectives
Click here to access the first 5 chapters of “Blue-Collar Leadership: Leading from the Front Lines.”
· Ch. 1: I’m one of you.
· Ch.2: I believe in you.
· Ch.3: You’re in the perfect place.
· Ch. 4: Common sense is never enough.
· Ch.5: There is an “I” in Team.
Note: I encourage you to be a river, not a reservoir. Please share my blogs with others if you find value in them. I believe in abundance and write them to help others become more effective, successful, and significant.
My passion is to help you live with abundance, achieve success, choose significance, and leave a legacy. In other words, I want to help you make a High Impact !
Speaker | Author | Leadership Expert
7 年Thanks Mack ...
Kamilaroi born on Birri Gubba Homelands (7 generations community connection not TO), Snr Lawyer HDR Candidate, Director CALM Australia & WELA - Women in Environmental Leadership Australia, FN Mediator, Exec CQ/CPP Coach
8 年Yes ! What ever is wrong In YOUR life you need to make it YOUR own (deflecting onto others is lazy and does show lack of character).....Thank you Deidré Wallace
This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done
International Speaker | Workshop Facilitator | Storyteller | Musician | Gallup StrengthsFinder Coach | 300+Episodes Podcast Host | Author | Job Interview Coach
8 年Oh my gosh -- I SO wish people who need to see themselves here would actually see themselves here, Mack! This is the same reason some people have a hard time apologizing. By genuinely saying "I'm sorry for..." that person must understand their role in hurting someone else in some way. And that's hard, especially when you really care for the person you hurt. I love this piece, you sure know how to say it like it is!
Sr. Facilities Coordinator/Sr. Project Manager
8 年I remember my very first, significant error that I made at my first "real" job out of college. There was no question in my mind that I was going to have to point out my error and take responsibility. I do not recall entertaining any other options such as blaming a circumstance or someone else for my mistake. My biggest concern was my delivery with respect to my mistake. My goal was to admit my error before the error was found. I literally had made myself physically ill with worry about my mistake. I stopped my boss in the hallway the following morning and told him right there about what I had done. He asked a couple of questions, replied that my mistake could be easily absorbed (I had ordered too much of a product) and he wished me a good day. Needless to say, I learned A LOT of lessons via that first, significant error. First and foremost, it pays to be honest. Secondly, don't make mistakes - LOL!