Disconnect to connect

In recent years, we have (almost automatically and unconsciously, although we barely even speak about it today) changed our lives in so much that mobile phones are almost an extension of our bodies, whilst screens are what we look at the most during the course of the day, and information flows to and from us in just a click, like never before in history.

We have an overwhelming quantity of information (more than what we can consume and process) at an unimaginable speed (immediately, to be precise) and this makes us feel a part of and included in the world. What's more, it gives us a kind of superpower, as we don't have to rely on anyone else for it. Social media, whose name itself suggests that we use it to “socialise”, communication platforms and “streaming” services compete for our time in exchange for giving us "more of what we want”, all whilst the large screens that we used to share as a family are now becoming smaller, more sophisticated and individual. With these small screens, we watch our own series, we watch films and we read the news, and thus we lose a common space for connection, dialogue, sharing, disagreeing and conversing about what we watch. 

It's for the one second that we take our eyes off our own screens that we make observations. On the metro or the bus, at the table at home or in a cafe, in the car or riding our bike (Yes, even taking such a high risk we look at our smartphones!), let's just say in any situation, we no longer see people, but instead, we see people through, or behind their screens.

However, the connectivity that distances us from feeling lonely, that undoubtedly provides us with many positive and useful things, that expands our knowledge and brings us closer during pandemics, also, like everything else, has its dark side. It stores everything that we don't use consciously, because in a way, it controls us, it has us at its mercy due to its stimuli, studied by experts in the field, that produce chemical reactions in our bodies and provides us with pleasure and stimulation. It's no different from sugar in food, or using drugs, which are both the perfect sources of short-term satisfaction, with long-term harmful effects.

As with everything, when used consciously, with knowledge, good intentions, for our own interest, to give us more freedom, opportunities and satisfaction in our present, but also in our future, it can be a great ally.

But when we are almost trapped (and we are trapped!), our good intentions alone are not enough to justify using it. To make the change we need to impose a few routines that remind us about what we really value, because we know that if we don't, then we will continue to be addicted to a habit that doesn't express what we really want.

‘Shabat’ of technology and screens

This is why a while ago I began to experiment and learn from new experiences by imposing some rules that helped to remind myself of what I really want, what I value and what makes me feel good, both for the present Fran and the future Fran. Amongst these ideas, one that I have kept to, because of the benefits it has given me, is what I call a ‘shabat’ of technology and screens. A ‘shabat’ begins on Friday evenings and ends on Saturday evenings, and follows the ritual of the Jewish tradition of conscious disconnection. In my case, I disconnect from technology and screens, by turning screens off and disabling most sounds and alerts (apart from the ringtone) on my mobile for 24 hours. 

I don't miss out on anything important!

What I learned from this experience is that I don't miss out on anything important! If anything urgent happens, news comes and goes, and in general, nothing that is posted has a short-term effect on our lives, and for those who use the excuse of “what if something happens to someone from my family ”, well smartphones are, by nature, telephones, and it will still ring even when the other functions are turned off. You can set it up in the way you want! This created, and still does create, time for me to do things that I might had forgotten I enjoy: reading a paper book, going for a walk on a beautiful morning, having a conversation at the dinner and breakfast table with my wife. I now have time without a schedule and without filling my brain with more and more stimuli which shut off this free space, just from refreshing pages of news, for example. By not consuming the hyper connectivity drug, I can just let my time and my desires to flow more easily, see what happens and find out what my mind and my body would like the next step to be.

Inspirational references that will help you to disconnect to connect: 

• Tiffany Shlain 
• Gary Turk 
• Santiago Bilinkis 
• Albert Durig