The Discipline of Control

By Dr. Peter Chee & Brian Tracy

This is the 3rd chapter of ITD World's 12-part newsletter series: 12 Disciplines of Leadership Excellence.

The discipline of control (self-control/ self-responsibility) is the true mark of leadership. The fact is that you feel positive about yourself - that you feel in control of yourself and your life.

Control and Personal Freedom

A direct relationship connects how much you feel in control with your level of happiness and personal freedom. A person with an "internal locus of control" feels very much in charge of his/her life and what happens to him/her. He/she decides what to do/ not to do, rather than feeling obligated to do what others want or expect.

People with an internal locus of control are more proactive, creative, outgoing, and self-confident. They are the men and women who become leaders in every area. Your goal is to develop an internal locus of control - and to become a powerful, confident, take-charge executive, in control of yourself, your environment, and others.

Responsibility and Control

The central issue of leadership and feelings of control is responsibility. It is virtually impossible to imagine an effective leader who dodges responsibility - although this sometimes occurs among managers and lower-level employees.

A direct relationship is evident between the acceptance of responsibility and the feeling of control. This also extends to a sense of happiness, optimism, and personal power.

(Check out the 7 Disciplines of Love, Happiness, and Success here)

The Irresponsible Attitude

Irresponsible people are characterized by the following 4 traits:

1. They continually make excuses when they fail to perform. Instead of admitting mistakes, they often say something like "It's not my fault".
2. They complain continually about people and circumstances. They see themselves as victims of what has happened.
3. They criticize other people regularly, usually behind their backs, and tend to gossip about others in a negative way.
4. Worst of all, they blame others continuously for all of their problems. They are never at fault. They are never responsible.

The Qualities of Leadership

True leaders are those who accept complete responsibility for the situation:

1. A leader never makes excuses if things go wrong, or if he/she drops the ball occasionally. Instead, they say, "No excuses. I did it, or I didn't do it, but I have no excuses".
2. A leader doesn't complain about people or situations - which is basically a sign of weakness. When a leader is not happy with the situation, he/she does something about it and takes action. If the leader can't take action, he/she accepts the situation and moves on.
3. A leader does not criticize others. If someone makes a mistake, the leader discusses with that person, agrees on a course of action, and gets back to work.
4. Above all, a leader does not blame other people or circumstances for the current situation. Instead, leaders accept responsibility and get busy doing something to fix the problem. As Harry Truman so famously said, "The buck stops here."

The Key to High Performance

Perhaps the biggest threats to health, happiness, and high performance are negative emotions. Negative emotions are the primary source of unhappiness in life and work.

You can eliminate negative emotions by using the power of your mind. Because your mind can only hold on thought at a time, you can deliberately choose to substitute a positive thought for a negative one. As soon as you affirm the words "I am responsible", your negative emotions STOP. It is NOT possible to say "I am responsible" and remain negative.

Whenever something negative or unfortunate happens, the words "I am responsible" put you in complete control of your emotions. "I am responsible" moves you into high-performance mode. They are the words of a leader.

Taking Control

How do you take control of your emotions and thinking? Begin by going over each part of your life, and then accepting 100% responsibility for everything that causes you negativity or aggravation. Instead of thinking of reasons why other people are at fault, identify how and why you may personally be responsible - even partially - for the negative situation.

One common example of this thinking style is when a manager complains about the poor performance of a staff member. As soon as you asked questions about who hired the person, who placed the person in that position, who assigned responsibility to him/her, and who is in charge of managing, motivating, and disciplining that person - it becomes immediately clear that it is the MANAGER who is at fault, not the employee.

Build the Discipline of Responsibility in Others

Once you have developed the discipline of responsibility for yourself, it's time to teach it to others. The fastest way to build confidence and competence in people is to give them more responsibility. You give them the freedom to perform and encourage them when they make a mistake.

As a leader, it is your job to be a role model of personal responsibility - and to encourage everyone else to accept higher levels of responsibility themselves. Continually tell people, "You are responsible", and then HELP THEM to take charge of their decisions and actions. Self-responsibility is essential to high performance in management and leadership.

In business, it seems that those who experience the highest levels of stress are middle management. The people above them - the senior executives - feel a high level of control over their decisions and actions. The people below them - their staffs - feel a low burden of responsibility for results. It is the middle managers who are controlled by their bosses, who exert only limited control over their staff, and who are expected to perform and get results regardless. Hence, they are the ones who experience the greatest amount of stress at work.

Your goal as a leader is to take complete control over yourself. This is achievable via the habit of automatically accepting responsibility for your life. Even if something negative that has nothing to do with you happened, you are still responsible for the way you react and respond to it.

Now it's time for some Action Exercises

1. Identify the areas of your life and work where you feel the greatest sense of control.
2. Identify those areas of your life where you feel that you have little or no control - rather, you are controlled by other people or circumstances.
3. Resolve today to accept 100% responsibility for every part of your life; think about how and why you are responsible for your situation and everything that happens to you.
4. Refuse to criticize, complain, or blame others for anything. You are the leader. You are in charge.
5. Set an example by telling others that you are responsible when things go wrong, rather than making excuses.
6. Encourage others to accept greater responsibility for their actions and results in work.
7. Give people who accept responsibility considerate freedom to do their work, and encourage them when they make mistakes.

Stay tuned to our upcoming newsletter to delve deeper into the 4th discipline: Character.

Wish to scale up your Leadership skills for Sustainable Growth? Get for yourself a paperback handbook now - written by Dr. Peter Chee & Brian Tracy.

More opportunities for Leadership Excellence

At ITD World, we believe that leadership is a competency that can be learned and mastered. We also believe that leadership is influence and through the behaviors and habits developed in our training programs, you may have a better chance of increasing your influence and leadership effectiveness.

This September, we are hosting a special once-in-a-year event - Global Leadership e-Summit (GLS). At this conference, leaders from all over the world are gathered together to network and share insightful experiences in leadership during crises.

In collaboration with ITD World, 5 MEGA GURUs will be there to host the event and help attendees scale up their leadership skills.

Learn more about the Global Leadership e-Summit (GLS) 2020 here: https://itdworld.com/global-leadership-esummit-2020/

For more tips on leadership and management during crises, explore our in-house leadership & HR solutions - provided by the TOP GURUs in the world.

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