Navigating Disappointments in the Therapy Room

Inter-Vision group today in the morning with the first subgroup, we spoke about our disappointments as therapists... and how to work through it.

We spoke about how it feels to know you've done everything you could for a client and with the client, they did everything they could from their side, diligently, committed to their healing process and yet.... despite all the work, all the profound realizations and insights and cognitive - behavioural reframes, associated with profound catharsis - emotional release, the physical symptoms remain... The body refuses to catch up with the mind... and keeps the attachment to the pain.

Despite of understanding the purpose that the pain plays, aaaallll the secondary gains games....

The point where, as a therapist you feel disappointed and at the end of your resources. Where you've got no more answers.

And where you just have to accept that this is the client's journey. This is their soul journey and for some reason - that doesn't have to do with you as a therapist, with your skills or approach - and you just have to let go, without beating yourself up knowing you did all you could.

Process the disappointment and let go.

This is the point where I recommend somatic work to release the remnants of trauma in the body, in the cellular metabolic mechanisms, so that the chemicals associated with the trauma responses start to slowly release from the cells, not just from the mind....

And, this is the point where I know I'm at the end of my human/professional limits and I turn to Spirit for answers.

This would be the point where I would embark on a shamanic journey to ask the client Higher Self (or my guides - the healing teachers) for guidance on the meaning and purpose of the illness.... and on the course of further therapeutic interventions. Spirit knows best and - in my experience - the clarity, specificity, level of nuances, details and synchronicities that this type of guidance provides always beats the human mind, the limited therapeutic/psychological perspectives and understanding of how consciousness operates, multidimensionally...

I feel much more equipped - both psychologically and professionally to deal with these kind of complex cases now, since I got into shamanism. Spirit is an all-knowing, all-encompassing ally that not even the best Supervisor in the world can replace....

I had my own share of disappointments like this in the past - also with psychosomatics, so I could perfectly relate to the experience. So frustrating.... soul drenching. Especially when the client is truly engaged and believe in their chance to heal - we are not talking here about 'resistance' or not taking responsibility for the process from the client side (expected to be 'rescued').

It is humbling and it is earthing....

And it is just another lesson.

We must be realistic about the outcomes and about the chance that, 1 in a hundred cases will not be successful and maybe 10 in a 100 cases will be mildly successful. And just be thankful for the rest of the 80 - 90% cases that are spectacular, phenomenal, rapidly proving results, irreversible therapeutic outcome.... and celebrate our wins.... - our client wins.

One of the things that makes me always a bit alert in clients approach is their idealizing you as a therapist...

When they idealize you, they put a bigger share of responsibility of the healing process on your shoulders as a therapist..... "You are so amazing, only you can 'fix' me".... It is an invitation into being rescued, saved.... - and that just doesn't work.

And if you are a beginner - or you have your own external recognition and validation needs, you will draw your worth and your confidence from every case.... so a less successful case will be a massive blow to your confidence and belief in yourself as a therapist... Because the mind is evolutionary designed to focus on the negatives for survival purpose.

Of course results speak louder than self-marketing...

Aaaand we have to normalize that 10% error margin - as with everything. We're human - and the problem with the dualistic mind that judges experiences in good or bad, positive or negative, success or failure - is that we have a hard time digesting the 'less-than-perfect' results, especially when we have high expectations from ourselves and others. Our default is not to look at it as a lesson, as an experience, but to judge it as positive or negative. It's how the mind works.

Well, we know by now that nobody can 'fix' anyone.

What the therapist does is providing a safe and compassionate container for the self-healing programmes to be activated within the client. It also provides a form of ritual - a ritualistic experience that brings the client's Inner Healer to work, to life, help them remember who they truly are beyond the layers of trauma, drama, suffering.

Healing is team work - the client, the therapist, the Spirit. And I would add - The Journey. It's a factor we always forget - I know I tend to, because my project manager head wants to see immediate results, work done, completion, closing the gestalt....

I guess my personal theme for these last couple of months was about expectations and disappointments - and learning to deal with it - on a more personal level, however, the process is just the same.

We 'must' normalize letting go...

Trust the journey, the higher meaning, the higher perspective...

It's not easy....

It is painful... and we have to honor and acknowledge the pain, the disappointment.

But once you mastered that... you are the absolute master of your own mind.

Marisa Peer says: "the most important thing to say to yourself is not 'I love you' or 'you are enough'......, but LET GO"

The healing power of letting go...

Let Go and let GoD

I am very grateful for everyone in the Inter-Vision group for how much they enrich my life..... for how they reflect back at me pieces of my own journey, the ups and downs, my own learning throughout the process of becoming me - and becoming a confident, successful, mature therapist.

We have each other in the Inter-Vision group to process our experiences, our disappointments, to share perspectives, to celebrate our wins, to learn from each-other and to remember - this is a calling, it's not a job... it's a profession that chooses you. It's not just what you do, it's who you are.... It's a vocation.

So, if you were 'chosen', act like one :)

It is a great honour and responsibility to be(come) a 'healer' (another controversial word if understood in an active-passive dynamic) - which really means - to become the 'hollow bone' for the healing process to happen through you - to allow Spirit to work through us. Everything else - techniques, methods, knowledge, qualifications are just details - human mind details. They are important, but not THE most important.

Our Earthly teachers facilitate our remembering of the healing gifts that already exist in us, that we have learnt and practiced for many lifetimes before... - and activate the codes within.

Keeping our 'channel' clear for the Light to come through, for the healing codes to be transmitted it's the most important thing - to me.

That means to be serious about our own healing; constantly reflecting, bringing ourselves to awareness and self-awareness, keeping the inevitable remnants of our personal shadow in check and under scrutiny... Question our blind spots and be open to feedback, peer review, to having a mirror in front of us that may show what skipped our awareness.

That's what the Inter-Vision group programme does.

And, always remember...... what we call success or failures and take it personal - be that as pride or disappointments - are just different facets or milestones of a journey that Spirit knows best how to orchestrate for us... and work it through, on our behalf, FOR us and never 'against' us.

That's how we grow in the process - as therapists and as humans. Raising our level of consciousness - that in turn has implications on the collective consciousness across the planet.

One more seat left in the Inter-Vision group iteration II starting late October.

Monthly payments available - to make it accessible for every budgets.

Enrollment closes on 30 September.

Feel free to connect with me if you'd like to learn more. Details linked in comments.

Join the Inter-Visionaries to discover your Inner Visionary.

We are Leading the Consciousness rEvolution together from all over the world.

Dr. Anemona Peres Psychologist, Transformational Therapist

CF*ACCPH Reg. Supervisor, IACT Mentor