Disappointment & Sadness in Corona Times

Today my back gave out. It hurt so much that I left my self-imposed home isolation and went to see my physiotherapist.

It turns out that I am stressed. More stressed than I noticed. I wasn’t trying to consciously bury any stress. I thought I was doing fine. Luckier than most in these Covid times.

But I am physically separated from my husband. He is in Tokyo and I am in Singapore. We cannot travel to be with each other. This is the longest period of separation between us in our entire relationship and there is no end in sight. We don’t know when we will physically be together.

This weekend, I should have been on a flight to Tokyo for two weeks in my husband’s arms admiring cherry blossoms and eating copious amounts of sushi & sashimi. But that is not to be. Flights are cancelled. Borders are closed. Travel warnings are in place.

I am disappointed and sad. My back decided that I needed to acknowledge that. Despite all my privilege and comfort in these corona days, I was not ok.

I have many blessings in my life and I am grateful for them all. I continue to give my talent freely to anyone who needs it. I have continued to be helpful and generous to friends and strangers. But my family is all over the world and in different stages of lockdown for the pandemic. I would be lying if I didn’t acknowledge the concern I have for each of my adult children, my husband, my elderly parents and in-laws.

So like every single person on earth, I am not always happy or positive or in a space of mental growth. It is important that I publicly acknowledge that. When I forgot, my back reminded me.

I am reminded of the brilliant Pixar movie “Inside Out” in which Joy tries to supress Sadness. Yet in the end, it is Sadness that saves the day and is the real hero of the movie. Emotions are good for us, they help us accomplish things. We can have just as powerful results when guided by sadness as we can when we are guided by Joy.

What we are all experiencing now are Big Changes in the world with Big Effects and this comes with Big Emotions.

While the conversations about resilience and turning problems into possibilities are important, the reality of big changes and big emotions should not be forgotten or hidden. If in these Corona times you find yourself in sadness, don’t suppress it. Don’t wallow and start yourself a pity party either. But instead acknowledge its legitimacy and let it guide you.

Its OK to be vulnerable and its OK to have tough days. A tough day for you looks different that a tough day for me. It doesn’t mean that both are not perfectly valid experiences. Both should be experienced with the full range of our emotions.

What is being asked of us now is physical distancing to fight the virus and protect our physical health.

What we need is emotional connection to cope with isolation and to maintain our mental health.

This morning I had a virtual coffee with two friends. We were all in our own homes, in our PJs with our coffees. We had a conversation about how we were all coping. Sharing what hurts and what helps. I can only encourage us all to do more of that. WhatsApp has group video chat as do multiple other platforms like Zoom. Use them for emotional connection and not just business ones.

As I acknowledged my disappointment and sadness, my back got better. My movement is restored. My emotions needed me to tend to them. When I did, they rewarded me physically.

So I encourage us all to continue to practice self-care and emotional connection as we each battle the virus on our own front lines. As we stay at home and wash our hands frequently, remember to reach out digitally and touch someone virtually.

Acknowledging our feelings now is a crucial part of developing our resilience muscles for the future.

**************************************************************************

Lavinia Thanapathy is a motivational speaker on the people aspects of change. Her signature keynote “Embrace the Crazy” helps corporations and individuals to identify and strengthen their mental fortitude for change. She has taken the stage at organisations like Google, DHL, OCBC, Deutsche Bank and at schools as well as at international conferences for ASEAN.

Lavinia is also an active advocate for gender equity and is a Vice President of the Singapore Council for Women’s Organisations (SCWO) where she chairs the Inspiring Girls Singapore programme. Lavinia is also the immediate Past President of PrimeTime Business & Professional Women’s Association and a former ExCo and Board Member of the charity HCA Hospice Care.

Lavinia co-wrote and co-edited the Amazon bestseller “Unleash Your Voice – Powerful Public Speaking for Every Woman” and regularly helps women to overcome their fear of public speaking.

She found refuge from her education as a lawyer in branding and communications and has over 20 years of experience in protecting and promoting the reputation of organisations. She has won numerous awards and is regularly invited as an international media commentator on women's issues.

Lavinia manages her large unwieldy diplomatic family via WhatsApp. Her 4 adult stepchildren and 1 minor child occasionally consult her on their upbringing & well-being. Her husband, a former German Ambassador, has the patience of a professional diplomat and part-time saint.

Connect with Lavinia on

Facebook

Instagram

LinkedIn

Twitter

You can buy the book Unleash Your Voice, Powerful Public Speaking for Every Woman on Amazon and Book Depository

https://www.amazon.com/Unleash-Your-Voice-Powerful-Speaking/dp/154374995X

https://www.bookdepository.com/Unleash-Your-Voice-Lavinia-Thanapathy/9781543749960