Disappointment

Boy, disappointment can be tough to take.? We might have put in a lot of effort on something that just didn't go the way we wanted.

What is the anatomy of disappointment?? What makes it so hard?? This might be hard to hear, but many of us contribute to our own experience of being disappointed.? Let me share a personal experience.? I had been putting in a lot of time and effort into a grant for the nonprofit I work for.? The project was outstanding by all accounts (not just MY opinion) and really filled a gap in services.? I was well connected to the foundation's decision makers and had preliminary discussions about our project.? I was encouraged to go for it because it represented an area they were very interested in supporting.? I was very hopeful we would be granted and even said to my board that I could not imagine a scenario that we would not be funded.

Well, you guessed it- we were declined.? I was literally shocked and very disappointed in the decision.? After a couple of days, I realized that I was the one that had set myself up.?

It turns out that I cannot read minds or predict the future.? HMMM...? What I did was go beyond what was realistic with my expectations.? It is one thing to be hopeful and give a project my best effort.? It is totally another to think that I can control how any scenario plays out. ?Although it was disappointing to not be chosen, the pain and suffering came from my expectations of and attachment to that particular outcome.

What can we learn from this little story?? Well, I became really aware of how deep my control tendencies run.? I also understand how much suffering I cause myself and THAT I can do something about!