I recently conducted a poll on LinkedIn asking my connections if they had heard of the term 'dirty deleting' before. As I suspected, many hadn't and here's my attempt to educate you on why it's so problematic.
Image description: Screenshot of Shani's LinkedIn post and poll, which reads: Have you heard of the term 'dirty deleting' before? A lot of people do it on my posts, and I'll explain why it's problematic, but first, let's see the poll results #DirtyDeleting
Do you know what dirty deleting is? Yes 7% No 93%
Dirty deleting is when you comment on someone's post or make a post that causes people to correct you or ask you to rethink your stance. When this happens, it's super uncomfortable, embarrassing and can feel really hurtful, so instead of sitting with those feelings, apologising on the offending post and moving on, you delete it.
If it's not there, then it didn't happen. If it's not there, no one can see that I was in the wrong and corrected. If it's not there, we can all just move on, right?
Why deleting problematic posts or comments is not okay, by Jo Luehmann:
- It deletes with it all the emotional labour and education of those who held that person accountable. Often that is people with less power who took the time to explain to someone with more power why they are harming; by deleting, they are erasing the labour of someone with less power, causing more harm.
- What this shows is that the person's ego couldn't handle the pushback; it doesn't show the person understood why their behaviour was problematic or that they listened at all.
- It makes the person deleting seem unproblematic. It doesn't allow new people engaging with them to know what they really think and therefore be able to make informed decisions on following/hiring/supporting them. It's, in a way, a PR move.
- It makes those who've spoken about it outside the post look like they are making no sense, which is a form of gaslighting.
- Unless those directly harmed are asking you to delete, never delete. Leave the post up, add to the caption or add a tweet with a proper apology. Do not edit the caption; simply offer an update. I'll give you a sample:
- UPDATE: I have been made aware of how harmful this post is. I understand now how it is <ableist, racist, xenophobic, sexist...>. I'm grateful for the people who helped me see this. I'm leaving it up so others can learn from their emotional labour.
- I'm committed to doing better by: <working with a coach to dismantle my biases in this area, reading these books, taking a break from social media to address this...>. Thank you for holding me accountable and helping me do better. And then really do better!
- If those harmed ask you to delete it, then you can still post an update with a proper apology addressing the post or comment you deleted and why you deleted it.
- This shows you are committed to not harming; it shows your primary concern is not your image or your reputation but ensuring people aren't harmed by you anymore.
- This shows you want to lean in and learn; you don't consider yourself an expert on all matters; understand that you are imperfect and need others. Don't dirty delete; lean in!
It's okay not to know something and make mistakes.?But it's not okay to pretend as if none of it existed by deleting other people's words—their time and emotional labour—because they made you feel things you didn't like. You must own your words and behaviour.
Experienced Technology Executive
1 个月But this article is missing a very valid point. Sometimes on your phone you may make a comment in haste. Then you look at it later and want to rephrase your statement, or remove it. That’s your right. You didn’t mean it, it was sent at 2am when you were half asleep, or whatever. I think deleting comments in error or in reflection makes a better discourse. The people that commented csn still re-comment if they want. It’s not silencing a voice, it’s probably removing a negative voice that after thought wasn’t meant the way it came off.
News Reporter at Island Press
1 年Emotional labour? lol. I get most of the reasons for not doing this but that's a little much
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1 年You are awesome ??
Tech Enthusiast| Managing Partner MaMo TechnoLabs|Growth Hacker | Sarcasm Overloaded
1 年Shani, thanks for sharing!
Project13 Lead | Award Winning Teacher | Public Speaker | AET & SAT Trustee | Mum of 3
2 年Very informative, just thinking back to my time in the classroom delivering online safety sessions - didn’t know this and advised students to delete; block; restrict etc. (to those that are being unkind etc). Now I’m thinking further understanding needs to be shared so as to build up the students skillset so they can carefully handle the uncomfortable situations that may arise ??