Directness is the best policy for leaders, not harshness, Find out how

Respect. Having cordial interaction with direct reports is something we all desire, and so does a manager-and, not just because they are human. Working in a harmonious workplace requires respect because it can't be good if your team leaders or managers are too harsh to cope with.

Whether you're new to the workplace or have recently been promoted above your colleagues, earning and maintaining the respect of your direct reports isn't as simple as performing an Aretha Franklin song. You must demonstrate your worth, especially if you have recently been promoted to management.

The way you provide feedback matters

In the long run, harshness does not just fail to bring about sustainable change; it also hinders it. This adds to performance problems because the individual either loses emotional connection with the organization or is so afraid that they become risk-averse, avoiding decisions, innovation, and anything outside their comfort zones. In the best-case scenario, you will gain temporary changes through harsh criticism.

I'm wondering how to tell when you are overly harsh when giving feedback

Often, people who use offensive language do not realize it and may not even mean doing it. Although there is still much we can learn about ourselves, how we present to others - and our impact on their performance.?

The following points should be considered:

• The recipient's body language- Do they appear afraid when you walk in the room? If so, does their general aura alter during the encounter (showing they feel comfortable) or do they remain frozen, reserved, or stiff? If it's the latter, it's because they don't understand what you're saying or how you're expressing it.
• How do you approach the discussion? Would you describe yourself as rushed? Stalled? Are you angry because it is something you have discussed before, or do you feel it should not require a discussion because it is obvious? Creating an environment conducive to a proper conversation won't happen if you think about any of these before you enter the meeting.
• How do you provide feedback, and how do you structure it? When you merely convey directions so that someone's behaviour changes, or when you direct someone's actions by ordering them to make a change or act in a certain way, you're not presenting good feedback and are probably being too harsh.
• Outside of feedback, what do you generally do? Micro-managers tend to provide poor feedback since they do not allow their employees to fail forward and learn independently. Feedback provided by micromanagers is often harsh and critical because they believe there is only "one" way to do things, or they have unrealistic expectations. This also applies if you are overly achievement-driven, a bully, or a narcissist (although you might not recognize your shortcomings if you are either of the last two).
• Tough is closely related to your belief system: In feedback meetings, which do you believe is more effective - "tough love" or "my way or else"? Does having the correct answer always work for you? Does having the right answer always lead to success? Does having the right answer always cost someone their job? Couldn't leaders be both liked and respected? Does diplomatic honesty seem contradictory? Almost certainly, your way of giving feedback is too harsh if you answer "yes" to any of these.

Do not be harsh, but rather direct

Being direct versus being harsh is not the same thing. Providing feedback is crucial for managing/leading so that expectations are clear. However, it must be done generatively. Being negative in your criticism, direct with your directness, or confrontational puts the recipient into a flight or fights the emotional state of being. They either close down emotionally/mentally or become angry/disdainful in response. These two states prevent the receiver from integrating the feedback you give them and squash any creative thinking.

Communication: Leaders must be skilled communicators, just like they must be in any other job. They are, in many ways, the company's voice; thus, being able to communicate successfully with their team and employees is critical.

Positive thinking: Positive thinking may help raise morale and promote a healthy work environment in general. Leaders should have a positive attitude and remain optimistic throughout their daily activities. Employees are more inclined to be optimistic if they witness their bosses being positive. Leaders should strive to inspire people by displaying a good attitude.

Feedback should be a conversation: It's not a conversation if you're the only one speaking. If there isn't a discourse, there won't be any mutual understanding that will lead to long-term reform. It's quite OK to say a few things and then pause to let them sink in. If you offer the information so that the receiver understands it and does not feel frightened by it, they will engage in dialogue with you but?is not order-taking. Do you want to find out if that's the case? "What do you think about what I'm saying?" or "How do you view things?" etc., are good questions to ask after you've given some input.

Leaders must be empathetic: This entails being aware of the desires, needs, and worries of others. Empathy will win you trust and respect from your coworkers and employees, not to mention a more peaceful working relationship.

Check your wording and tone: The aim is for the person getting criticism to leave the meeting knowing exactly what needs to be changed (your expectations) and feeling motivated to fulfil them. Understanding and drive to change are both dependent on clarity. Avoid accusing, vulgar, disparaging, or demeaning words. Use a calm, non-aggressive tone instead. Always treat others with dignity. Don't get emotional; instead, be objective and professional.

Make sure you're in the right frame of mind for the meeting:??

• Enter the room without being irritated, hurried, or angry.
• Approach the talk with the mindset that it is an opportunity, not a bother.
• Consider the talk as a chance to assist the individual in growing and improving their performance for the team's benefit.

Building relationships: ?Whenever you give feedback to your team, it is imperative to know how your team is feeling, their strengths and weaknesses, and their professional and personal goals. You can better connect with each individual if you have a rough idea of what motivates them. Taking this into account helps you provide feedback most helpfully. For them, a satisfying change must be sustainable. Through relationships, employees and their teams and the organization can establish a sense of community. Employees are more likely to alter their behaviour if they feel emotionally connected to their leader and the organization.

Keeping these factors in mind will make it easier to distinguish harsh from direct. Providing feedback correctly will lead to a team of high-performing individuals who will be creative, adaptive, intrinsically motivated, and emotionally attached to the organization's purpose. Being aware of yourself begins with becoming self-aware.