Dinner reservation for one.

Let me ask you something.

Tell me the last time you noticed someone sitting alone for a meal, and you started worrying about them. A guy sat alone at a bar, or an older woman by herself at a Mcdonald's. Seriously though, how often have you noticed someone at a restaurant eating alone, and you spent more than 10 seconds thinking about it? Personally, I cannot remember one. When I go out for a meal, it is to eat and have a good time, sometimes just one, sometimes both! Most people are in the same boat.?This brings me to the purpose of this article.?

Trying things solo!!!

When did you last go out alone to enjoy a nice dinner?

Were you comfortable facing the empty chair in front of you??

Did you feel anxious about what the people around you are thinking??

The vicious cycle of others' perceptions of you begins:

They probably think that I got stood up. Or maybe they think I don't have friends. Ahhhh! Come on! Someone, please text me so I don't look dumb just scrolling on the phone.?Maybe this was a bad idea.

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As all these thoughts swirl through your mind, the waitress shows up. You have been dreading answering the first question she is going to ask.?

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'Hi there! Will it be just you today ?'?With all your willpower, you say, 'Yes, just me today.'?You feel the sweat rising on your forehead, and before you can explain why it is 'just you today, ' the waitress continues, 'That's great! Here are our specials, and here is the drinks menu. Let me give you a few minutes to review, and I will be right back to take your order.'

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Wait... Why didn't she react to a table for one? And why is no one staring at me?!? And how are they enjoying their meal while a random person sits alone in a busy restaurant?!? OMG, I hope someone does not come and sit with me for sympathy.??

About four years ago, I gathered the guts to attempt a solo trip. I found $26 round-trip tickets to Philadelphia. Yup, $26 -?those were the days! I asked a few friends if they wanted to join me, but no one from Florida wanted to go to Philadelphia in November, and I could not blame them. My thought was simple: I could go someplace new for $26. Without friends to help chip in on the hotel, I was still working on my student loans back then, and I thought of trying out a hostel. The entirety of the trip was 23 hours, so I needed the housing for 1 day, and I had never been to a hostel before (No, the movie did not scare me off!). For an additional $30, I had a place to stay and a bunk bed to sleep on.?

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I did a?lot?of walking, eating, and exploring, all while I had this worry in the back of my mind... Do people think it is weird I'm all alone? It was when I got back home it clicked. I realized that I had just unlocked a brand new skillset for under $150 -

The ability to enjoy my own company - carefree.

Since then, I have enjoyed multiple solo trips which typically tend to be weekend excursions. Over the years, I got better at finding cheap flight deals and warmed up to staying in hostels to keep these trips budget friendly. The US has a good hostel network which makes solo travel cost effective. I understand the risks that come with solo travel, and hostels might not your thing, but as long as you are smart with your decisions and planning, it could be a great way to explore! (I will write more about my solo travel experiences in a separate article.)

I consistently encourage people to try solo activities and if this is caught your interest or reminded you of your new year resolution, this is your call to action.

If your circumstances allow, here is the homework -

In the coming 5 days, plan for one dinner at your go to local restaurant. Just you.         

Your phone is allowed, but try to not use it as an escape. Order your favorite dish, enjoy the meal, and return home. If you crave a drink, buy a mocktail for this first - intentional - solo outing. You've got to be smart when doing things solo! When you get home, give yourself 10 minutes to think about this experience and rate these questions on a scale of 10, 10 being Amazing-

• How do you feel -
• How was the food -
• How was the restaurant and the service team -
• How much did you engage with your server / other patrons -
• On a scale of betterment on your Anxiousness / Nervousness / Awkwardness from sitting down on the chair to signing the bill, how did you do -
• How likely are you to try something like this again -

This is not a one and done. We are keeping score. Getting out the comfort zone is just step one. You have to get to a point where you will willingly plan this in the future. If you rated 6 or more for most questions, your next month solo dinner should be a restaurant that you have been meaning to try out!

Not everyone has the flexibility to pick up their bags and go on a solo trip on a whim. However, you can try to have one solo activity every so often to enjoy your company - even if it is for an hour or two. Once you are comfortable with eating by yourself surrounded by strangers, then reading in a coffee shop is a piece of cake. I suggest dinner over lunch because the busy schedule can make lunches feel like fuel over nourishment. But if lunch works better for you, go for it! If eating by yourself feels like a big step, try going to a local public park and people watch. If that doesn't cut, and you want something easier, go watch a movie in a theater all by yourself (Yes theaters still exist.)

Of course you may be an extrovert and already enjoy being surrounded by strangers but remember, this is not a networking session. You are here for you.

If you are passively enjoying LinkedIn, maybe this is your first opportunity to share your thoughts on LinkedIn! Comment on this article. Get out of your comfort zone. Baby steps!        

Here's the thing - I love people. I enjoy spending time with people and it is like a Tesla 0-80% Supercharge for me when I spend time with them. However, I try to make sure that I can enjoy my own company and my thoughts. I continue to build numerous skills during my solo 'adventures' and during a hike on my recent trip to Mammoth Caves in Kentucky, I had this epiphany -

If I can't hang out with myself, why would anyone else want to hang out with me?

Pause-Reflect-Play        

#newexperiences #pause #reflect #play #mentalhealth #minoritymentalhealthmonth #thinkdifferently #motivation #leadership #personaldevelopment #healthandwellness #enjoylife #solo #yolo