Dillon’s Silent Struggle

When I read Dillon’s school report, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of pride and worry. To any other parent, it would sound perfect: a polite, well-mannered boy who is a pleasure to teach, always tries his best, and constantly seeks to please the adults around him. But as his mum, I see more than what’s written on paper. I see the cost of that perfection and how much it weighs on him.

Dillon’s need to please is both a blessing and a burden. At school, it shows as hard work and good behaviour, qualities that make him stand out as a model student. But I know it consumes him. He spends his entire day worrying about doing something wrong or upsetting someone. Research suggests that up to 80% of ADHD/ASD children, and many undiagnosed neurodiverse children, mask their true feelings at school to fit in. For Dillon, this need to mask and meet expectations leaves him exhausted and anxious. The pressure doesn’t stop at school...it follows him home, where the cracks begin to show.

At home, I see a different side of Dillon. He has meltdowns over things that might seem small to others, like forgetting one of his reading books for school. He becomes terrified of being told off, convinced he’s let someone down. It’s heartbreaking to see how much he worries, all because he’s trying so hard to meet everyone’s expectations. Studies show that up to 70% of children who mask at school experience higher levels of anxiety at home, and Dillon is no exception.

Balancing Dillon’s needs feels like walking a tightrope. We weigh the demands of school and extracurricular activities against his need for downtime and emotional recovery. Sometimes that means skipping a night of reading or letting go of smaller expectations so he can recharge. It’s not about neglecting his education; it’s about helping him maintain his emotional health and giving him the space to just be himself.

Dillon has taught me so much about looking beyond what society celebrates. His school report paints a picture of a perfect student, but I know the emotional cost that perfection comes with. My goal as his mum isn’t to push him to meet other people’s expectations but to help him feel safe, confident, and loved for who he truly is - imperfections and all.