Digital Dating: What to look for and how to screen online/virtual dates

With more singles than ever before seeking connections or love virtually during physical isolation, now is the time to understand yourself and your needs and learn what to look for in a partner online as well as how to screen virtual dates.

Or just be like this guy.

What qualities to look for while dating online:

• A genuine interest in what you share with them
• A willingness to be vulnerable without creating drama or distance
• Someone who isn’t judgmental but has standards and expresses their concerns transparently
• A great communicator who has integrity- they text and call back when they say they will and isn’t afraid to be open
• Someone kind and thoughtful... do they find ways to make you feel special or thought-about even when you’re not together or not connecting daily
• Someone who laughs at your jokes and understands you
• Someone positive and supportive, who doesn’t talk badly about exes or others
• Someone who respects your boundaries and wishes (don't make excuses for bad behavior, this never ends well)

How to screen online dates:

Ask the important questions now. 

If anything this time period has shown or reminded us, it is that life is precious. There’s no point in waiting to discuss things that are important or deal breakers for you, but they can be discussed without turning it into a formal interview. Create a conversation around your values/expectations or needs; show an interest in learning about the other person and seeing if it’s a good fit romantically. Even if you two aren't a good fit, they might be great for your friend or someone you know.

Listen without interruption

Take note of odd remarks, but don’t confuse it with nervous attempts at flirtation. Listen to your gut and not your ego. If someone makes you feel weird or bad, that’s someone to steer clear of. 

Intentions vs Actions

Pay attention to your match's actions and not just words. 

Steer clear of the non committal perpetual texter who never wants to jump offline to talk or video chat.  

Character Traits

Be weary of anyone too boastful or anyone who comes across as negative, angry, resentful, crude, ultra sensitive or very controlling. No one of us is without flaw, but in general their positive attributes (especially in the initial stages of attraction and courting) should outweigh any negative ones.

Happy/sweet and humble people who care make great partners. 

Reciprocate

Are you both excited or at least interested in keeping up communication, or do they leave you hanging for days or a week without any sign of interest? At this moment the majority of the country is at home. No more excuses for lack of communication. (Read: this does not mean they or you should be texting or messaging non-stop -unless it is natural and mutual).

Respect

If you sense yourself losing respect for someone or not respecting their profession (with some lenience during this time of course), mentality or overall life perspective, values, choices, behavior, or anything substantial, it’s a good time to re-evaluate your compatibility. 

The Physical

Attraction is important. Pictures don’t do most people justice. In person is the only real way to tell true chemistry but video calls and phone calls are good to get to know someone for now and can allow for a deeper emotional connection before the physical potentially complicates your mind.

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Thoughts? What should we add to the list?