Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance

For a recent Deksia book club, we read and discussed Digital Body Language by Erica Dhawan. The author is known as a leading expert and speaker on digital teamwork and collaboration and has courses available on LinkedIn Learning. She’s spoken at many high-profile events over the years, including a TedxGateway Talk. I found the book both informative and entertaining, as Dhawan illustrated her insights through real-world stories from her past and personal network.

Understanding The Issue: Digital Body Language as a Proxy for Productivity and Happiness

In today’s electronically-connected world, up to 70 percent of communications taking place amongst teams are digital. This may not come as a surprise to you, but according to The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the “tone” of our emails is misinterpreted half of the time. This issue is compounded by the fact that nonverbal cues make up 60-80 percent of face-to-face interactions, which means untrained digitally-focused workers are likely missing a vast majority of the nuances prevalent in our regular communications.

Known as “the silent language,” nonverbal cues may include posture, proximity, smiles, pauses, yawns, ton, facial expressions eye contact, hand gestures and volume. Many of these nonverbals are missing in electronic communications, so humans must adapt communication styles and preferences to ensure a message is heard and understood. Dhawan reminds us that, when used properly and at scale, empathetic body language correlates to employee engagement.

The Four Laws of Digital Body Language

Early in her book, Dhawan outlines The Four Laws of Digital Body Language, summarized below:

1.?????Value Visibility: being attentive and aware of others while communicating understanding and appreciation

2.?????Communicate Carefully: making a continuous effort to minimize the risk of misunderstanding and misinterpretation by being clear with words and digital body language

3.?????Collaborate Confidently: having the freedom to take conscious risks while trusting others will support your decisions

4.?????Trust Totally: having the faith that people will tell the truth, keep their word and deliver on their commitments (requires the other laws to be followed)

These four laws are referenced throughout the book and illustrated through anecdotes. The author includes a few helpful tips and science-based insights. For example, watching yourself on the screen (think Zoom) makes it more difficult to relax and engage in conversation. She also reminds us about The Online Disinhibition Effect, which occurs when we drop our guard, forego formalities and express ourselves online in frank, uncensored ways we’d never do in person.

Utilizing Communication Evaluation Checklists

When it comes to avoiding the Disinhibition Effect or unclear communications, Dhawan provides a helpful Communication Evaluation Checklist. When writing to others, ask these questions before sending your message:

1.?????Is my message clear?

2.?????Are there one (or more) ways to interpret my message?

3.?????If my message is confusing, is there another medium and style I could use to create clarity?

4.?????If I have more power (in the relationship) am I coming off unintentionally terse, vague or rushed?

She also outlines an accompanying Response Checklist for recipients. When you receive an unclear message, consider the following steps:

1.?????As clarifying questions, such as “can you clarify what you need from me and by when?”

2.?????To better understand intent, ask for additional details that will shed light on context

3.?????Consider changing the channel of communication (to phone call, video chat or in-person meeting)

The book covers other elements of effective communication, including how and when to ask questions to acknowledge individual differences and to illicit honest feedback:

1.?????What is the bad news I don’t want to hear this week?

2.?????What might I have missed in our last discussion?

Similarly, Dhawan provides guidance when attending a meeting or participating in a discussion that lacks clarity or context. Consider asking the other party (or meeting owner): “Before we dive in, can you share what success looks like at the end of this meeting and what the agenda will be to help get us there?”

Understanding Communication Preferences

On a related note, the author reminds readers to understand the communication preferences of coworkers. Taking this a step further at Anvil (prior to Deksia), we asked team members to share their communication preferences, prioritized from most to least favorable (in-person, video conference, phone, slack, email or text). Sharing a single document with the group allowed us to encourage greater clarity in communications by leveraging communication channel preferences.

Adapting to Low and High Context Cultures

Toward the end of the book, I found the chapter on cultural communication differences fascinating. If your business has a global footprint, it’s important to understand the differences between high-context and low-context cultures. In High-Context cultures, communications are implicit and rely heavily on nonverbal cues. Geographies include Europe, Latin America, Africa and the Middle East. Communications tips include providing all relevant details, consistently clarifying/paraphrasing requests/tasks, as well as opening with a greeting and including at least one personal comment.

By comparison, Low-Context cultures require less ambiguity, preferring more efficient and less non-work conversation and communications are notably less hierarchical. Not surprisingly, Western cultures including the US and England fall into this category. Communication tips include being direct and to the point, using bullet points and bolding to highlight important details, only saying yes to promises on which you plan to deliver, keeping it business-only and ensuring communications are mobile-friendly.

Replicating Nonverbal Cues Electronically with Digital Body Language

Last but not least, I’d like to share a summary list of simple digital actions that matter most in replicating or replacing physical body language: liking, sharing, using emojis and punctuation/capitalization, responding with thoughtful, thorough and timely emails (and texts), nodding when on screen, clear subject lines, incorporating friendly gestures and minimizing the use of BCCs in email communications.

For additional thoughts on digital body language best practices, read Secrets to a Successful Virtual Meeting: 8 Best Practices. Happy digital communications!!! J