The Diginity of Intimacy

“ I fall in love with myself, and I want someone to share it with me. And I want someone to share me, with me.”

This is my favorite Eartha Kitt quote. This encapsulated the dignity of intimacy to me. How beautiful to know and love yourself so deeply and open yourself vulnerably to someone else…at least until that choose not to share that or you choose to release them. You know when someone is no longer worthy of your energy. The only dignified thing to do for yourself is then to release them. This awareness comes from practicing self-nurturing.

In my last article I spoke of how your self-image is created. And to quote myself “Create your world with dedicated sustainable practices of self-nurturing as known as radical self-care. Slowly this will create observable evidence and change your self-image. At this moment you may be having emotions. Contrary to popular belief and the overwhelming demonization of emotions, they are natural chemical responses to alert you to know something.” When I have these conversations with women, most often you begin sharing how you travel, go to the spa or meditate. I love these responses and ways of nurturing. In fact my book Detached Love: Transforming Your Heart So You Can Transform Your Mind, I give you a whole system to create very robust sustainable practices. Let’s talk about the position of emotions with regard to dignity and intimacy after clearly defining both words.

Glossary: (definition taken from https://www.merriam-webster.com/)

Dignity: 1. formal reserve or seriousness of manner, appearance, or language

2 the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed

3 a: high rank, office, or position

b: a legal title of nobility or honor

Intimacy: According to PsychCentral.com, “Intimacy, in general, refers to the level of proximity between two people. It requires vulnerability, openness, and trust… In relationships, four types of intimacy are key: emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual.” (See the full article here) The dictionary definition fell short and for a better understanding required something more robust.

Connecting the dots

Now that you have definitions for dignity and intimacy, let’s dive into the meaning in your life. In this article I am offering a new one that I have cultivated since writing that book three years ago. While it was published three months after my separation, it was four years in the making whilst my marriage was disentangling. You read that correctly. The fabric you create over the course of twenty years of marriage requires disentangling. My prayer was that I leave my marriage with dignity. So often when marriages end it’s ugly and contentious. Admittedly there were and sometimes are moments of contention but I am committed to my ultimate joy. The embodiment of that has come through tuning into falling in love with myself intimately.?

Is it worth it?

Again in the words of Eartha Kit “The price we pay for being true to ourselves is worth it!” In a relationship it has always been easy for me to love the person I am with and when we separate reallocate that love back to myself for healing my grief. You, reader, may find this curious and I live it seamlessly. To explain my process is difficult because it is simply my way of being. I chose to end my marriage and I grieved the loss of my relationship with my husband. However, in reallocating that love back to myself I chose to enroll in tantra school, create a more robust self-pleasure practice, research sexuality in Islam, open myself to kundalini awakening, open my heart to love someone new. In all of my self-exploration and continuing discovery, I created a whole new business within the business I already have. My greatest wish was to leave my marriage with dignity no matter how contentious it had been and I did. I love and love very deeply. I honor that way of being by sharing the gift of intimacy with the world. It is something you must experience for yourself and I have created something for you to do that. I invite you to the possibility of the dignity of intimacy.

If this speaks to you, start your journey with my complimentary mini-masterclass How to Be Multi-Orgasmmic and embrace the dignity of intimacy.

Meet me tomorrow for All the isms and Self-Image.

Cordelia Gaffar is the Ultimate Joy Goddess - a soul medicine woman guiding to be multiorgasmic!! She is a holistic healing practitioner certified in sports nutrition and a certified Movement 109 Facilitator.

As the CEO of Workout Around My Day Inc., Cordelia is a globally sought-after speaker, workshop and movement facilitator, a four-time best-selling author of eight books including America’s Leading Ladies with Oprah Winfrey, and host of her personal podcast, The Free to Be Show.

Cordelia was inducted into the Global Library of Female Authors in 2020 and is the recipient of multiple awards including the Top National Influencer, Sexy Brilliant Leader, and the Brainz Global 500 Award of Influencers and Entrepreneurs for 2021 and 2023. She also won Podcast of the Year in 2022, and was named Best Podcast Host from Powerhouse Global in 2019.

She left her position as CFO for a small IT firm in Washington DC nineteen years ago to homeschool her six children. Cordelia has been featured on America Meditating Radio, British Muslim TV, South African Radio 786, Soul Wealth Radio in Washington DC, and Fox News.