Diff'rently the Same
Dr. Carol Sargent
Creating a social shift where dementia and other disabilities are no longer seen as the end, but a new phase, in which a great deal of life can still be lived
I have just listened to the song written by James McKillop and it really struck a chord with me in all sorts of ways.
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Firstly, it was a beautiful song with an acoustic guitar and a very catchy chorus, “Diff'rently the Same”.
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Secondly, the words are beautiful and describe his feeling about how he wants people to recognise him as person.
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Thirdly, James has been living with dementia since 1999.
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Everybody living with dementia I speak to wants people to stop making assumptions based on their dementia diagnosis and to be treated like everybody else.
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They want people to see them first and foremost as a person and not be defined by the disease they have been diagnosed with.
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Listening to the song made me think once again that the wishes of the dementia community are no different from other disabled communities and, are actually no different for any other person.
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Nobody wants people to make assumptions based on what they have been told about them, how they look, how they sound, what their title is.
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From a personal perspective I don’t want people to make assumptions about me based on my grey hair, my difficulty in bending down, my love of food, my Scottish accent, my age or my professional Dr title.
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I want people to take the time to get to know me as a person, so we can find out if we want to build a personal or a professional relationship with one another.
领英推荐
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What things do we have in common? What things can we agree to disagree on? Do we have a similar sense of humour? What music do we like? What do we enjoy doing? ?
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I then started to think about how my relationship with my Mum changed as her dementia developed, and then how the relationship with my husband, children and friends has changed as we all grow together, with different life experiences.
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Perhaps if we know anybody for a significant amount of time, we all grow to be “Diff'rently the Same”. Maybe we need to focus more on what makes us the same and take more time to understand the differences that are shaping our current lives.
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I know the thing I learnt most about dementia from my Mum was that I had to take more time to get to know and understand her and not make any assumptions.
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Thank you to bold for funding this, particularly to James McKillop for making me realise that if we all commit to a long-term relationship then we will all become “Diff'rently the Same” and that this is okay if we take the time to understand one another.
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Please have a listen to this beautiful song and let me know what your reflections are for life in general and for the dementia community.
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To enable and empower the dementia community to spend quality time with the people they love, please share the updated version of my free booklet Holidaying with Dementia Your 10-Step Approach
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Oh Carol I have just listened to the song. I don’t think that I should often cry, but what the song had touched me so much, I can admit that I have been crying ?? This should be a Number 1 HIT !! Thank you for sharing this ????????????????♂?
Hi Carol, that was a very personal, but a challenge to all of us. I will listen to the song - it really seems very important and excited to me ??????
Digital Learning & Development Coordinator @Alzheimer Scotland, Trustee @Dementia Arts Trust, bold Partner (MRes)
1 年It's a brilliant song ??, there are a few songs and work by those living with dementia on the bold Scotland website ??