Differentiation

This article is the same as that which I sent to my email list last week but has extra resonance following yesterdays #HumansFirst conversation around compassion.

I would like to start this week’s reflections with some questions:

·      How ‘different’ do you think you are?

·      To me?

·      To friends?

·      To work colleagues?

Why do you think any of that?

I used to think that I HAD to be different to be successful in this world and why wouldn’t I?

Our parenting, our education, the world of work all steer us to believe that by being the best (sales figures, car, house etc) will lead to happiness – I know this not to be true.

I know as I held onto fear, lacked courage and damaged myself – literally – striving to be that best that I thought the outside world needed me to be and I did this for over 20 years.

This week’s reflections have been prompted by an incredible, and pretty deep, podcast by Roger Castillo which was kindly shared by my peer and friend Helen Amery https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/helenamery/.

https://youtu.be/9nIqbbL2JKM

Differentiation

Let’s take a look at the definition of differentiation for a moment:

Look at all of those synonyms.

·      Polarity

·      Difference

·      Separation

The issue with differentiation for me is like so much of today's language, it has been hijacked by marketing, sales, corporations, cult leaders, leaders of countries! The list goes in.

Society thrives on differentiating us from one another – shoes, car, holiday, make up – the list goes on.

I work in sales and for a corporation. It is not at all bad. I enjoy my job. I enjoy what it brings me. However, it is a very I based culture and industry. There is next to no ‘we’ anywhere in that environment. Not really and authentically.

It is fundamentally about making money and that is not an issue when it is in service of something bigger societally. 

·      What do you desire to make a difference towards bigger than yourself today? Are you doing that right now? 

Our current materialistic, individualistic paradigm has CEO salaries on 280-300 X their average employee whilst homelessness and food banks are on the risks, even in developed countries.

·      What societal good, honestly, comes from differentiation in your opinion? Let me know

Differentiation may help in marketing & capitalist terms, but it is crushing to the human soul and experience.

Connection

Now let’s look at connection which I believe is the antidote to differentiation.

What if I advised that I truly believe, deeply, that you as you read these reflections, you are connected to me.

And you are connected to your friends.

And you are connected to your work colleagues

·      What if innately, we were all 100%, totally interdependent and bonded together – would you believe that?

I believe that this is true. I have not always felt this way.

Over the past three years I have become increasingly surrounded by incredible people, I learn, grow and get challenged by them every single day and they all help me strive to live my personal purpose.

This only started to happen, however, when I stopped trying to differentiate myself on a human level and realise that together we are far, far stronger.

Collaboration over competition is one of my personal mantras. 

·      Look at the five people that are closest to you in your life – do they life you up or bring you down? Hit reply and let me know

The podcast I share above is deep, but also one of the most matter of fact explanations as to how our Human Experience (HX) works thus I wanted to make you aware of it.

It is up to us.

We do not need to differentiate ourselves.

We are already 7bn uniquely beautiful human beings, that are already interconnected. 

We just need to step back, remember and embrace that.

I am not sure about you, but for too long I blamed others.

I blamed the circumstance.

Anybody but myself.

When we realise, however, that EVERYTHING is within our power, and to unleash that power, connecting to our energy source and those that lift us up, can be transformational, but it does take accountability, acceptance & forgiveness (of self & others).

·      If you could wave a magic wand today, who or what would you forgive, in yourself and/or others?

Feedback

I hope that some of this resonates and do comment below and let me know what does or indeed if you wish to challenge any of my thinking.

Until next time, have a wonderful day and keep stepping into your courage, step by step, in whatever way you can; we all have so much more to give and gain by doing so.

Yours with courage and humanity,

Garry