A DIFFERENT KIND OF RESOLUTION

The week between December 25 and January 1 always brings a whiplash of sorts. Before we can even finish off the leftover Christmas cookies, pies, and fudge, we’re being bombarded with messaging that tells us how to be our best selves in the new year: ditch the sweets, hit the gym, drink more water. We head into January resolving to be better.

Most of these resolutions don’t last, but there are some that are of eternal value, and they aren’t just for a new year. God has much to say about his priorities for us as women. Paul instructed Timothy that just as the elders and deacons must meet certain qualifications, “[i]n the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything” (1 Tim. 3:11).

Let us consider the resolutions the Lord would have us make—not just in January, but always:

1. RESOLVE TO BE RESPECTABLE.?

Even if you aren’t formally mentoring another woman, you have lots of women and young people in your church who are watching you—how you speak, how you treat others, how you raise your kids, how you spend your time, how you dress, how you open your home, how you treasure and obey God’s Word, and how you respond to life’s trials. Your life has tremendous power for influencing others toward godliness.

Philip Towner wrote in his commentary on 1 Timothy:

"We have bought into the notion that older people have had their day of usefulness and ought to make way for the young. But the principle here is quite the opposite. With age and experience come wisdom, and many older women have discovered secrets of godly living in relation to their husbands, children and neighbors and in the workplace that could save younger women a lot of unnecessary grief. And when the unavoidable trials come to the young woman, who better to guide her through than an older sister who has been through it before? Somehow the church must see that younger women have contact with older women."

2. RESOLVE TO RENOUNCE MALICIOUS TALK.?

The Greek word for “malicious talkers” in 1 Tim. 3:11 is diabolos, which is translated throughout the New Testament as “of the devil.” When we talk maliciously about others, we are literally being diabolical, behaving like Satan.?

Gossip is one of the “respectable sins” Jerry Bridges wrote about—it can lurk in the church, disguised as genuine concern or even prayer requests, eventually tearing a church apart. “With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in God’s likeness. Blessing and cursing come out of the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, these things should not be this way” (James 3:9-10, CSB).?

Resist the temptation to complain—even to your husband—about people and issues at church. He will be influenced your attitude, whether positive or negative, and it will affect his ministry tangibly. If gossip and malicious talk are frequent temptations for you, consider memorizing James 3 this year. Getting a handle on this area of your life will affect you profoundly (James 3:2).

3. RESOLVE TO BE TEMPERATE.?

Being temperate (also translated as “sober”) involves maintaining balance—not only with food and drink, but with our spending, phones, media habits, and general time management. The iPhones and smart watches that many people unwrapped with delight on Christmas morning come with lots of convenience, but they also come with a price tag that’s much bigger than the financial one.

In the Rule of Life podcast, Andy Crouch said that with modern technology such as smart phones, “[w]e didn’t just gain capacities, and we didn’t just relieve burdens . . . we also added burdens, and we lost freedom. This is what I call the innovation bargain of technology.”

Our phones keep us connected to loved ones, help us manage our schedules, give us easy access to information, and keep us from getting lost while driving. But they also introduce new burdens into our lives, including the temptation to waste massive amounts of precious time when we are supposed to be numbering our days so we may gain a heart of wisdom (Ps. 90:12). We must resolve to do whatever is necessary to maintain balance in this area, among all the others.

4. RESOLVE TO BE TRUSTWORTHY IN EVERYTHING.

This is especially important if you or your husband are in ministry. Your role puts you in a position of great trust, and you must guard that earnestly. That means keeping your word and your commitments, along with maintaining appropriate confidentiality when you’re entrusted with people’s struggles and private matters.

As we ring out the old year and ring in the new, let us also "put off [the] old self, which belongs to [our] former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and . . . be renewed in the spirit of [our] minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness" (Eph. 4:22-24).

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