A Different Generation

It comes to me that with the passing of many celebrities or stars we take a deep look at their life and try to find some lessons we can learn about our greater purpose, how we should interact with others, how we should live our lives.

I think its good for us to take any excuse to take any opportunity for some retrospective or introspective when it allows me to stop and say...what am I really doing this for, is it worth the time, is it valuable, does it help me to connect, interact, bring value, show care, or empower others.

Looking at a few that have impacted us: Anthony Bourdain recently passed. A Jersey guy who started working in seafood restaurants who's passion inspired him to explore international culture and the human condition. He gave hope that anyone from anywhere with any beginning can make it if they whole heartedly pursue their passion. Robin Williams, who's work brought light and life and laughter and inspired joy to many. He made us consider that everyone has layers you can't see and can't fathom. That we should dig past the exterior with our family and friends. Anton Yelchin, who was rapidly rising in fame, young fun and vibrant. His accident opened our eyes that each day isn't promised and we should consider everyday to prioritize what is important to us.

I want to take a few lines here though to talk about A Different Generation. A different type of person. An everyday man, who is certainly no celebrity and I would be surprised if you heard of his city much less he himself. But also someone who I think the values of can impact us significantly and change the way we interact, connect with others, and bring value to others and find joy for ourselves.

On July 4th 2018 O.D. Lott, aka Dude Lott, aka Pa, aka my grandfather passed away at 89. Now this isn't an obituary, but its an opportunity to reflect on a few keys values of his life that I can only hope to instill in myself and my family for a better more fulfilling life. I can cover hundreds of traits, but I want to boil it down to 3 that I think shine through brightly and that i think you can see in many people from his generation. Those 3 are: Work hard, find a way, be committed.

WORK HARD: A close friend of mine is a factory manager for a Chinese company that has recently expanded to the US. He regularly chronicles the problems he has finding people not only who will work hard, but even just finding people who will show up everyday. The lack of willingness for the US employees has led them to sending people from China to keep operations going. I won't chronicle all the differences between US workers and those from other countries, but there is an huge chasm between our work ethics and that of others. But looking into our history I find that even those of us who are hard workers, have a gap between what we consider hard work and that of The Greatest Generation.

I personally recall a time just short of a decade ago. I was in my mid 20's. My grandfather would have been about 81. I literally was in my prime, worked out regularly, had been a collegiate athlete. My Grandfather was 81, with 76 years of hard labor behind him, thought that if someone wanted exercise they needed to go work in a garden or repair a barn or something that wasn't wasting time lifting weights when they could make themselves tired doing something more productive. Anyways...before I worked in IT, I would regularly do other jobs including construction. He, my father and myself were working on a house flip. The day we were having to take the roof off to replace it we decided to start in rows. Let him start one row removing shingles paper etc, and then i would start the row behind him. That would allow me to not get to far out ahead of him and we could work at a steady pace row by row. So he began and after about 5 feet I started the next row following him....Listen people, I have always worked hard compared to my peers. And I was in the peak of my physical conditioning. He was 81 and it was 96 degrees that day on top of a house with no shade...So he is going along working at a standard regular pace for him and it was literally all I could do to move fast enough to keep up with him. He just kept going, the same pace diligently working until the job was done. Because that was what he did. He worked hard and he didn't know anything else. When we finished he just looked at me and said, lets get some water, its hot out here today. I can't even fathom trying to keep up with him when he was in his 30's or 40's. I think now about what that looks like in my life, can I put in the hours and effort so that when my peers look at me they say, I don't understand how he does that, how can I ever keep up? Upon reflection I know I've not committed myself to that level, and its a characteristic in me I should change.

FIND A WAY: Dude never had a job that paid big money and even the ones he did that pay good money today, didn't pay near so well when he did them. but that didn't stop him from having a house on 17 acres when he passed. He worked hard to achieve it and he found a way. When construction jobs ran up he worked on oil rigs, when the wells were dry he did logging, when the trees were all down and drug and milled he drove a truck. If there was no work in Oklahoma he went to California, when the job was done he went to Arkansas, to Texas, to wherever he was needed and could make work happen. He wasn't a mechanic or engineer per say, but when things broke down or just plain broke he fixed them. He was creative and maintained all his own machinery. He literally at 89 was in the process of changing out the clutch in his tractor, he hadn't done this before in this type of tractor. He asked a friend last week who told him that the tractor had to be separated to do it and that he needed to just have someone come do it for him. My dad is going back up this week to put it back together, because he had taken it apart to start separating it...he was going to fix it, he was determined to find a way. Its what he did. I was told that he was taken out of school in 2nd grade to help on the family farm. He learned to read and do arithmetic on his own outside of school. He loved to read, he read everyday. He chose regardless of his circumstances to find a way. And most importantly through all life's difficulties and everything that was thrown at him, he had an amazing long lasting marriage. He found a way.

BE COMMITTED: Let me expand a bit on this long lasting marriage. This man was married to my granny (that's what we call our grandmother round here) for 67 years. The average marriage in the US is 8.2 years. They were married for 67. This wasn't 67 years of bliss and joy, it was 67 years of figuring out how to make things work, finding solutions, staying when things were hard. And the result of that, the people who have known them for so long said they were never more in love than when he passed. The fruits of their commitment created a relationship that had an unimaginable depth.

Over the last decade I can recall them talking about some of the things that we wanted for himself in life. He wanted a new pick-up, not brand-new but new to him. He also wanted new teeth, he was 89 so I get it. Now he certainly wasn't rich, but he had the money to go buy a newer used truck. And he absolutely could afford to get new dentures. One night we took him and my grandmother to eat, they talked about not wanting to get steak because it was so difficult for him to chew. I asked why didn't he just go get new teeth he had been talking about getting for the last 10 years or the truck he had been wanting. The response. I can't take those things with me, but the money they cost I can leave behind for her (my granny). He was willing to sacrifice knowing that everything he left behind would be able to help continue to provide for his wife when he was gone. He was married for 67 years but he was committed for longer than that.

He was committed to his wife and his family and his God. He poured his life into those things, and it is because of those things that he we worked hard, its because of those things he found ways to solve things and to succeed. He wasn't committed to work, he worked because he committed himself to provide for his family. He didn't read because it helped him run a tractor, he committed to spending time reading scriptures daily. The things he committed to shaped his life, and they were the source of his joy and happiness.

SUCCESS??: Ok so how successful was he? He worked for more than 80 of his 89 years in his life and he left this life with an old house, an old truck, and not a lot to his name. But he came from nothing, and he left with something. Something more than many have today. Money is a tender for debts and services rendered. And he left this world with more than he started with, which tells me he gave more to society than he took. That's how he lived his life. And more so, he had Joy everyday. I know everyday wasn't easy for him, and he wasn't happy everyday. But to be honest, I can't remember a day that he didn't smile and laugh, I can't remember a day that he didn't share stories with everyone who would listen. I can remember them having to bring folding chairs into the church for his funeral because the pews couldn't hold all the people. I can remember the lessons he taught me directly and that he taught my father that my father taught me. I see the legacy he left in my family, with his friends, and in his community. I don't know how you define success in life, but I can't think of much better than having a life where I gave more than I took. Where I had a committed, long lasting, and loving marriage and family. And where I left a legacy that inspired others to live a bigger, better, and more impactful life.

I hope this brief glimpse can inspire you too. Because he was an everyday man and he believed anyone could have that life to. They just have to work hard, be committed, and find a way.