The Difference: if you Give a Damn

I use this phrase, in a professional environment, often. I’m aware that it is perhaps not a professional term. That’s okay, because when I use the term, I want the attention-grabbing sharpness of its impact on the listener. It lands more sharply, and succinctly than “care about”. The truth is that simple: The difference is if you give a damn.

While I will cite Malcolm Gladwell and the Maryland Bar Journal, this is not a theory reviewed by my peers or academics. But you – as my LinkedIn peers – are free to review in the comments. I welcome it.

Whether it’s been leading Marines or consulting an upcoming technology change for a client – managing and at times changing the behavior of others, is the inflection point of successful outcomes. Why? Because people – individual people – always get a say so. If you read any book on negotiations or motivation theory, you’ll at least take away that you have to understand your ‘carrots and sticks’. Or more academically, your incentives and your consequences. They tie an outcome to the personal impact or “What’s in it for me” for those impacted, or dare I say it "stakeholders" (trying to stay away from the consultant-speak).

I’m going to make it simple. If you want to influence the behavior of others – employees, coworkers, your team, your children or anyone – the mandatory ingredient is to give a damn. According to a study made mainstream by Malcolm Gladwell’s “Blink” and later cited by the Maryland Bar Journal – giving a damn to the extent it effects behavior (and dollars) can take little more than 180 seconds. See the summary of “Treat Clients with Respect”. Or pick up a copy of Blink by Gladwell on Amazon.

Do you want to be good at something? You have to give a damn about the work product associated with you. You want others to follow you? You have to ensure they know you give a damn about them. You want to accomplish something not yet done at your employer or in your field? Aside from realizing you can't do it on your own, the people from whom you need support, must know you give a damn about accomplishing that goal (and maybe the value you know they contribute to it).

Giving a damn is not a fix all, but it is a ‘fail all’ if you don’t have it. Okay, maybe not a 'fail all' but it is certainly a glass ceiling set at 'mediocrity' and no better. There are thousands of examples of kids winning against the odds, taking on things nobody has shown them to be possible – because someone came into their life and gave a damn. Michael Abrashoff will tell you in “It’s Your Ship” how thousands can not only change behavior but become the best of their peer groups with a healthy dose of “give a damn”.

You want to be recognized for the work you do? Give a damn about the quality of your work. You want your team to be recognized for their efforts and the impact they can have in your company? Show them – don’t just tell them – show them, you give a damn about them as people – not just as employees.

Have you felt this phenomenon known as “give a damn”? Please share your experience in the comments!