The Difference a Sentiment Makes

Much of Western culture overlooks the difference that your way-of-being can make in the results you produce. Some Eastern philosophies go so far as to say that your way-of-being is the ultimate cause of your outcomes, although not in a linear, cause-and-effect sense. Remember, for example, Gandhi’s admonition: “There is no way to peace; peace is the way.” ?

Since?The Burning Bush?asserts that we are to listen--in all that we undertake--for the three sentiments: love, faith, and hope, and to allow these ways-of-being to lead us, let’s take a moment to appreciate the huge impact that a sentiment/way-of-being?can make in life. ?

A coaching client, Bess, calls me at the appointed time; like many of my clients, she calls me “Doc.” Notice how love, faith, and hope emerge in her as we talk.??

*** ?

“Listen Doc,”?Bess?starts in a panic, “I don’t know if I have time for a coaching session today, I’ve got so much to do.”

“Ok, I hear you, Bess,” I say. “Have you got a second to at least take a breath together? You’re going to need oxygen anyway.” I lead her in a short breathing exercise, and I can hear in her breath that she’s trembling. “Besides meeting all your deadlines, what’s the underlying fear here, Bess?”

“Well, I have to finish this report by five. But,” she slurs her words she’s talking so fast, “I’m still in my probationary period, and if they don’t think it’s a good risk to run, we’re talking about a huge shift in resources and energy here; and if they don’t go for it, the chances of my keeping this position are pretty slim.” Bearing down, she bottom-lines it, “Doc, I have two kids to support. I didn’t know the CEO and President were going to be so stuck in the mud when I applied for this position.”

“Right, of course. And I know that developing the overseas market is your whole purpose in taking the position.”

“Yes, and it REALLY IS where I see this company achieving a higher profile and impact in the world.”

“Understood. So let me ask you a question. Do you know for sure that the CFO and President will disagree with you on this?”

“No.”

“Okay, so your fear is based on a projection that they’ll disagree with you; and that you’ll be out of a job because of it. Is that right?”

“Well, yea,” she hurries to add emphatically, “but there’s a lot at stake here!”

“Sure,” I say. “In fact, you’re projecting failure into a really important conversation. Aren’t you?”

“True,” her tone swirling, “In fact, now that I can see this, I can also see that my defensiveness and suspicion are only bound to provoke their differing with me, and not wanting to work with me.”?[Love]

“Exactly. Which is to say, you’re poised to produce the very opposite of the result you desire.”

Getting grounded again, she says, “It’s important that they see how it’ll pay for itself many times over as we win overseas contracts.”?[Faith]

“Right, good. Now, with all that in view, who are you going to be in this meeting at five?”

“I’m going to be calm, confident and visionary,” she says as calm and confidence accrue to her vision.?[Hope]

“Fantastic. Now let’s look at handling the other things on your list with the same calm, confidence and vision as well.” ?

As this brief coaching dialogue shows, sometimes the most important thing to pay attention to is the basic quality of the experience we’re having. Focus on your way-of-being directs the words and deeds that will follow. It takes the personal out of the equation as well. It puts what’s most important in the lead. ?

*** ?

This is an excerpt from Chapter Five of The Burning Bush: Call to a New Paradigm of Leadership, which goes into Pre-Sale the day after Labor Day. If you have not already let me know and would like to be part of the Author's Journey, and receive insights, requests for feedback, and access?to pre-sale?copies for yourself, your office, and your friends (Check out the perks on offer in gratitude for your contributions!), then please reply to this email, letting me know. ?

Pass this Newsletter (or this link: https://mailchi.mp/listeningisthekey/the-difference-a-sentiment-makes ) on to everyone?interested in better leadership (for themselves, for their workplace, for our world). The New Paradigm of Relational Leadership presented in?The Burning Bush?differs from the individualist leadership--with which we are all-too familiar--in three fundamental ways:? ?

i) Leadership is not about the one person who leads us; it’s about the way we interact. ?

ii) Who leads (and in what style) varies with the exigent need.? ?

iii) What leads are “that famous trio of Charity, Faith, and Hope, which, in the estimation of St. Paul, are the finest and greatest of spiritual gifts.” (CP2.655) ?

As the Author's Community, we intend to embody relational leadership, to share the lead, to follow the Love, Faith, and Hope; and in this way to bring about a New Paradigm of Leadership for future generations. ?

***

Leadership Growth Program starts?September 11th

Are you or someone you know wanting leadership training? Ask me or visit www.listeningisthekey.com ?to find out about the Leadership Growth Program starting Monday, September 11th, 4:30-5:30p ET.? ?

This three-month intensive group coaching program meets via zoom to implement the theory behind The Burning Bush.?

Overall Intention for the Program is to:? ?

Develop our capacity to lead purposeful lives, productive and compassionate relationships, & a workable and peaceful world. ?

Concrete results participants in the program have actually produced?are: ?

· Agility in challenging communication

· Laser focus in the midst of multiple distractions

· Workability in all your relationships

· Personal calendar that is a display of what’s most important to you in life

? Turn Conflict into Mutual Powerment * Design a Team Project that gets Sustained Traction

? Effectively Hold the Team Accountable?

? “Use the Force” instead of Forcing Outcomes

? Claim Executive Time (to Reflect, Strategize, Plan, Play) ?

One member of the last cohort said: ?

"In this program you can expect community and connection, and that you will get things done. The Leadership Growth Program is an invaluable resource for identifying what matters and moving towards what matters. I myself got my business off the ground after years of thinking about it. Dr Kettelhut helped me get unstuck, set realistic and ambitious goals, and meet them. An important take-away for me was that accountability to the right people makes all the difference.”?

--Reinhild ?

Another writes: ?

“Expect a refreshing return to enthusiasm for collaboration and engagement to reach personal and financial goals.?Results include being back on track with practices for self-care, accountability, and revenue generation.”

--Danielle ?

Sincerely, Martin Kettelhut, PhD 303 747 4449 [email protected] https://ListeningIsTheKey.com ?