The Difference Between Niceness and Being Kind: They are not as Interchangeable as You Think
For the last 6++ years on a Saturday morning I meet with a group of men virtually. We all pretty much show up every Saturday at 7:30 AM. These are my HITOP brothers (#hitoplife ) who help me stay accountable and be transparent in a safe environment. Every man needs that!!! Take it from a recovering hermit.
We discussed this morning the difference between being nice and kind. It was a good discussion and I wanted to share some insights. I had never thought about the two being different vs. interchangeable.
In both our personal and professional lives, we often encounter individuals who are labeled as "nice" or "kind." While these terms may seem interchangeable, they carry distinct meanings and implications. To delve deeper into this topic, we turn to the timeless wisdom of the Bible, which provides valuable insights into the difference between niceness and being kind, both within and outside the workplace.
Niceness: Superficiality Disguised
Niceness is often associated with superficiality and external appearances. It involves pleasant manners, politeness, and the desire to be liked by others. While niceness can create a cordial atmosphere, it often lacks authenticity and may mask underlying intentions or motives. In the workplace, niceness may manifest as empty compliments, avoiding conflict at all costs, and prioritizing personal gains over the well-being of others.
However, the Bible warns against the pitfalls of niceness. In Matthew 23:27-28, Jesus admonishes the Pharisees, saying, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people's bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."
Being Kind: A Deeper Expression of Love
In contrast to niceness, kindness is rooted in a genuine concern for others' well-being. It goes beyond surface-level politeness and delves into compassionate actions. Kindness stems from a selfless heart, characterized by empathy, understanding, and the willingness to make a positive impact on others' lives. It transcends personal gain and seeks to alleviate the suffering of those around us.
The Bible consistently emphasizes the importance of kindness. In Ephesians 4:32, it states, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." This verse highlights the transformative power of kindness, as it allows us to extend the same forgiveness and compassion we have received.
Kindness in the Workplace: Building Bridges
In the workplace, kindness is an essential quality that fosters healthy relationships and collaboration. A kind coworker or leader seeks to understand and support their colleagues, recognizing their strengths and weaknesses. They offer encouragement, lend a helping hand, and demonstrate genuine care for the well-being of others. Kindness in the workplace creates a positive and inclusive environment where people feel valued and motivated.
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The Bible encourages us to display kindness at work. Colossians 3:23 advises, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men." This verse reminds us that acts of kindness in the workplace are not merely for the benefit of our colleagues but are also an expression of our devotion to God.
Kindness Outside of Work: Impacting Lives
Kindness extends beyond the workplace and should be an integral part of our everyday lives. Small acts of kindness, such as offering a listening ear, volunteering, or helping a stranger, can have a profound impact on individuals and communities. It is through these acts that we become agents of positive change in the world.
The Bible consistently promotes kindness in everyday life. Proverbs 11:25 states, "Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered." This verse encourages us to view kindness as a reciprocal cycle—when we bless others through acts of kindness, we also receive blessings in return.
An example today from one of the men. He had inherited a person when he took a new position within his organization. The person was not competent in their position. But they did add value just not as much. The previous supervisor was nice by not challenging this person in the role. In other words he let it slide. My friend had a kind conversation with them about there role and what they thought of it. This employee hated his position. Instead of casting off a person by terminating them, my friend helped them find a new position within the company as a business analyst. Since being in that role they have been promoted two times!!! That is the kind of leader I aspire to be and want to work for!!!
Being kind is having that awkward conversation, it is definitely not easier than being nice.
Niceness and kindness may appear similar on the surface, their core meanings and implications distinguish them significantly. Niceness often reflects superficiality and self-interest, while kindness arises from a genuine heart position.
Which do you choose to be?
By the way HITOP stands for: Humility Integrity Truth Obedience Prayer
To Your Success!!!
Other articles by?Chris Shrader