The Difference Between Loneliness and Isolation

We’ve all experienced bouts of loneliness. Times where we felt unseen, alone, and like we did not belong. Whether we were children, teenagers, or adults, many of us have had experiences in our lives where we felt a little unsure about our place in the world. Then, slowly but surely, we’d find our footing and those feelings would subside. But what happens when they don’t? What happens when isolation becomes the norm and we continue feeling like we do not belong?

Loneliness is defined as a state of mind. It is not social isolation, although in some cases it can be exacerbated by it. Although commonly understood as a feeling developed from prolonged solitude or being alone, in actuality, it’s a mindset that’s rooted in feeling as if you are alone, rather than actually being alone. It’s why you can be in a room full of people and still feel like you are the only person there (been there!). It’s also why we are both the most connected generation and the loneliest. And the consequences can be dire. In 2017, former US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy called loneliness a public health “epidemic” citing that rates of loneliness have more than doubled since the 1980s. Research shows that loneliness comes with a wide range of mental and physical health risks including increased stress levels, poor decision-making, altered brain function, decreased memory and learning, increased chance of cardiovascular disease and stroke as well as Alzheimer's disease progression.

What makes loneliness difficult is, it’s not always easy to identify because it's dependent on internal factors, rather than external. It’s also one of the reasons why so many of us struggle with understanding why we feel so alone, when we are constantly connected to others and the world around us. According to Telstra’s Talking Loneliness report, one in two Gen Z (54%) and Millennials (51%) regularly feel lonely. These are numbers that are much higher than previous generations. Combatting these alarming numbers requires understanding what’s causing our loneliness in the first place.

There have been copious amounts of studies that have shown the impacts of social media on young and developing minds. However, for many of us, our digital community became our main source of connectedness throughout the pandemic. But was it really? How many of us have been able to foster genuine connections by scrolling through photo after photo after photo? Social media can be a powerful tool for community building and coming together, but only if used with intention. Otherwise, you can easily fall into the comparison trap and exacerbate feelings of loneliness and personal failure.

We are social beings and need connection and healthy relationships for our wellbeing. We often dismiss ourselves or others as being “clingy” or “needy” when the desire to socialize arises, but we are hardwired towards connection and social bonding. Instead of criticizing, take the time to understand where those feelings are stemming from. Take the time to listen and understand what sort of connection you are seeking – and if loneliness is dependent on internal factors, it may be a deeper connection with yourself.?