The difference between guilt and responsibility

I know a guy who’s always in trouble. He misses appointments, forgets his promises, and rubs people the wrong way. In other words, he never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity.

You'd think he’d be aware of this, would maybe reflect on his life and want to make changes.

But that's not the case.

His answer to everything is always the same: it wasn't my fault. He's late because his car broke down. He couldn't possibly live up to expectations because his partners were expecting the impossible.

Interacting with this person can be difficult because the reasons he gives for whatever happens in his life are almost always valid.

His bicycle?was?stolen. His phone?did?die in the middle of the night, so his alarm didn't go off, and he couldn't be blamed for being late.

The subtle difference here is that even though he's not to blame for the circumstances that make his life miserable — and it isn't his fault directly — that doesn’t mean he’s not responsible.

And that's an important distinction.

Once we accept that we’re flawed human beings and life is constantly interfering with our best laid plans, we must also realize that we?can?control our own behavior and actions.

When working with people in a team, at a company, or even when interacting with your own family, it’s helpful to understand that we each take ownership for certain aspects of our lives.

If we fail, it doesn’t matter if we’re to blame or not, we are still responsible.

This is important to agree on because somewhere down the line, we all screw up.

The person I know would have a different perspective on life if he understood that — no matter the circumstances — he’s still accountable for what happens. Hiding behind explanations helps no one.

I'd much rather work with someone who takes ownership of a mistake than someone who spends all their time thinking up excuses for why things went wrong. Even though those excuses may be valid, they don’t reduce our responsibility.