The difference between confidence and arrogance ??

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“Where’s the line between confidence and arrogance?”

This is one of the most common questions I get asked, and understandably so; knowing the distinction can significantly impact how others perceive you, your competence, and your likeability.

Case in point: Earlier in my career I interviewed two candidates for a consultant position. Both were well-qualified, but their approaches to discussing achievements were as different as night and day. Candidate A was all about teamwork and openly acknowledged the hurdles she faced—always refreshing! On the flip side, Candidate B seemed to operate as if “team” was a solo sport, repeatedly using the phrase "single-handedly" like it was his mantra. (Oof! ??)?

The choice was obvious. Candidate A, with her down-to-earth confidence, was a perfect match for our team-focused values. Meanwhile, Candidate B... Let's just say it raised a few red flags about potential team conflicts. This got me thinking about the fine line between confidence and arrogance—a line we all navigate in our careers.

Here are a few tips to help you differentiate between the two to ensure you're projecting confidence, not arrogance.

Quick Confidence Tips for Cultivating Genuine Confidence:

1. Mindset: It's all about balance. Recognize your strengths but don't shy away from your weaknesses. Reflect on both regularly. This keeps you grounded and open to growth. For example, if you’re a star presenter, own it! Consider sharing your strength with your manager in a performance discussion, and look at some ways to nurture that strength into a superpower. But if, let’s say, data analysis isn't your forte, name it and consider teaming up with someone who's a whiz at it or taking a course. It’s this kind of self-awareness and openness to learning that amplifies real confidence and stands out to leaders.
2. Embodied: Humility is your secret weapon. Make it a point to seek and genuinely consider feedback. Each piece is a stepping stone to betterment, building confidence along the way. Imagine asking a mentor how you could've handled a meeting differently and using that insight for a smoother next round. This shows you value growth and respect others' viewpoints—qualities of a leader and a true team player. And acting on that feedback shows you’re coachable and someone who can improve. Remember that everyone has something to teach you. Approach each interaction with a mindset of curiosity and humility.
3. Interpersonal: Root for others’ achievements. Regularly celebrate your colleagues' wins. This not only fosters a supportive atmosphere but also shows you're secure enough in your own skin to shine a spotlight on others. Next time a teammate nails a project, lead the applause. It's a simple act that speaks volumes about your character and self-confidence. It also helps shape the culture of your workplace—which is a team effort. Some of my favorite ways to kick off this kind of praise is with phrases like “I’d like to acknowledge the leadership of…” or “I want to recognize the hard work and effort of…”

Whether you’re a leader, aspiring to be one, or just want to make a great impression, demonstrating your confidence through thoughtful self-awareness and a growth mindset will take you much further than trying to be a one-person show. So, follow these tips to keep your feet firmly on the side of confidence without slipping into cockiness.

Have you ever dealt with an overly arrogant colleague? How did it impact your team's dynamics? I'd love to hear about your experiences in the comments below!

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