The difference between being content and fulfilled

We all strive to be at a place in our lives where we can say, I made it. What that looks like is different for all of us. The goal at the end of the tunnel often includes financial freedom, recognition personally and professionally, and meaningful relationships among many other aspirations. Many of us work very hard to reach these goals, just to find that when we do make it, we are still filled with that small unsatisfied feeling. That yearning for more.

For me, I have battled with this my whole life. From when I was little, I have always a vision in my head of what would make me happy. This included being liked by my peers, getting good grades, making the varsity team, finding a girlfriend, getting into college, receiving a degree, finding a good job, getting married, having kids, being promoted, living in the nice part of town, and having the stereotypical American dream. I am assuming for many of you, this all sounds very familiar.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my life, my family, my job, and my friends. But throughout this pursuit of happiness I think most of us get caught up in what we think is going to make us content and forget to focus on what will bring us fulfillment. I know I have.

On the surface, you would think the words content and fulfilled could be used interchangeably.

The definition of content is, “satisfied or showing satisfaction with things as they are.”

The definition of fulfillment is, “feeling that ones abilities and talents are being fully used.”

After reading these definitions you notice a clear contrast between the two. There is a big difference between being satisfied with things the way they are and feeling that you are reaching your full potential.

Every single one of us has untapped potential. That small unsatisfied feeling, that yearning for more, cannot be filled by superficial goals and material things. The only way that feeling can be somewhat satisfied is in knowing that we are in the constant pursuit of reaching that untapped potential.

Here is the crazy thing though, your untapped potential will never be realized. Not because you are incapable of constantly bettering yourself, but the sky is the limit for all of us!

BEING FULFILLED IS NOT ABOUT REACHING GOALS AND OBJECTIVES. BEING FULFILLED IS ABOUT THE CONSTANT PERSUIT OF SELF IMPROVEMENT IN WHATEVER FORM THAT MIGHT BE!

So how do you take that first step toward fulfillment? There are a four things that I recommend.

1.Take time to understand your strengths and weakness.

Write them out, discuss them with your spouse, colleague, mentor, etc. You need to be open to feedback from others and not get defensive. People see things about us that we don’t see ourselves. That feedback is often the most important.

2. Set specific, obtainable goals.

I know I just said fulfillment is not about reaching goals and objectives and I mean that. You still need to have goals and objectives to give yourself direction. Just know that setting and completing these goals are a catalyst for your journey to self fulfillment, not the end game. These goals need to be evaluated, revisited, and updated on a regular basis. I try to revisit mine at least once a quarter. We all know about SMART goal setting. But many of us don’t put it into practice in our life.

SMART goals are:

• Specific: Well defined, clear, and unambiguous
• Measurable: With specific criteria that measure your progress toward the accomplishment of the goal
• Achievable: Attainable and not impossible to achieve
• Realistic: Within reach, realistic, and relevant to your life purpose
• Timely: With a clearly defined timeline, including a starting date and a target date. The purpose is to create urgency.

3. Triple down on your weaknesses

Most people double down on their strengths. It is what you are comfortable with right? For many, there is nothing worse than starting at square one. You look and feel awkward when your start something new or pursue something you are weak in. But that does not last forever and we all have to start somewhere. I am here to say that you not only need to approach your weaknesses but you need to triple down on them. According to David Goggins the hardest man alive, you need to attack your weaknesses with a ferocity. Goggins at 24 years old wanted to become a Navy Seal. He was 300 pounds, and could barely walk a block around his neighborhood. He also didn’t know how to swim. His two major weaknesses at that time were discipline and physical fitness. Those happen to be two of the most important pillars to becoming a Seal. He not only wanted to overcome his weaknesses but he wanted to become the most disciplined and physically fit guy in the world. His resume speaks for itself now, and that is because he embraces his weaknesses and attacks them with a passion every day. That should be the mindset you should have.

4. Do something that makes you uncomfortable every day.

Davis Goggins is a wise man and he is spot on with this analogy as well. Our body, mind, and spirit feed off our daily habits. If your daily habits only include things inside your comfort zone, then you will not see growth, you will not be fulfilled. Finding something that is uncomfortable can be just about anything, as long as it is difficult for you. This could be physical activity that pushes you toward your limits. That extra rep. That extra mile. Time spent actively educating yourself on a topic you know little or nothing about. Critically thinking and analyzing tough issues in your spiritual journey or politics. Putting yourself out there to have a conversation that you have been putting off because a fear of rejection. If you make the conscious effort to force yourself to do something that sucks every single day, you will slowly embrace what it takes to grow.

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