Didn't come this far to be restrained by negative voices..

A few years ago, feeling confident I had honed sufficient skills to assume a senior role, I shared my resume with several recruiters. I had worked very hard to get where I was and was ready to step up.

To my surprise, a number of recruiters quickly downplayed this idea, arguing I had no requisite experience to merit a more senior role.

Of course, I have received tremendous help from some amazing and selfless friends in the talent acquisition industry, it would be deeply wrong to paint every recruiter with the same brush. There are several of them working hard to help people achieve their goals.

Those conversations, however, had negative and lasting implications. They induced self-doubt and eroded my confidence (which I had worked so hard to nurture). I shied away from potential roles, not wanting to appear “delusional”. I started to overlook my strengths while over-stressing my flaws.

I allowed people who barely knew me to define my worth. It had taken me a decade to get to that position, but it only took someone a few glances on my resume to tell me I was still distant from my ambition. My intuition was certainly right. When I eventually got in direct contact with the employers, they quickly perceived my potential, gave me a chance, and I thrived. My fears, as well as the negative perceptions of others, where baseless.

My experiences are not unique. We humans are creatures of emotion, and deeply crave for external validation. The proof is everywhere, as clear as day. Here are four things I learnt.

1. When you feel ready, stop questioning yourself and follow your intuition. With any game changing move, there is always a possibility of failure. That’s OK, what matters is having a go, persisting through adversity and learning along the way. The worst is not trying at all. Don’t let others define your next move, let alone your self-worth.
2. I come across several people yearning for approval or acceptance from others before stepping out of their comfort zones. Unless one is in the arena, putting their lives on the line, their opinion should never matter to you. There are countless people who will lecture you on the “perils of entrepreneurship”, when they have never risked their lives. As Dr Rene’ Brown put it, “there are a million cheap seats in the world today, thoughtless people who will never be brave with their own lives but will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgement at those of us daring greatly.”
3. Have no patience with anyone who talks you down or reminds you why you are not good enough. Have the courage to act in the face of uncertainty. Fear is natural, especially when taking an ambitious move. Mute the negative voices, and constantly remind yourself of your past victories. It doesn’t matter what people think, the answer lies within you.
4. Find a mentor who sees the best in you and help you to become the best you can ever be. Great mentors can also give you honest feedback and help amplify your gifts as you work on your weaknesses.

You are worthy, remember talk is cheap. Don’t let anyone, especially those outside of the arena, define your destiny. For some of us, there is really nothing to hold us back. We didn’t come this far to be constrained external voices. As the great Usain Bolt said, “How can I fail? When everything in my life is a bonus. Where I am from, people don’t reach this far…. I can never be a failure!!!”