Did you try to help someone who can’t be helped?
Have you ever tried to help someone who can’t be helped? Maybe it’s someone who doesn’t want help, but just something you have. Maybe they asked for help, but when you try, they don’t take your advice or they have ulterior motives. What I mean by that is they just want money or a favor.
In many cases we help someone because we want to. It may be a simple favor or a big favor. We help them because we want to. Some people keep asking, keep pulling us in, and keep dragging it on. At what point do we say, “this is enough”?
Sometimes we help someone only to have them use it against us, or to get past us and move on without even a thank you.?
Maybe it was someone who promised to pay you back or return the favor, only they have no intention of paying you back. Maybe that’s harsh. Maybe they would if they could but can’t. Then they may ask you again, and again they ghost you after they get what they want.?
I am not talking about your kids or family. Let’s face it, most of the time you do anything for them and you don’t expect anything back. Unless you had an agreement in place before you helped them. While this doesn’t sound like much, it can be a character-building lesson for kids.??
There have been many times I didn’t expect anything in return, this is the best way to go. I don’t want anything in return for favors, but sometimes people keep coming back. They keep pulling you in, wasting your time, until you eventually have to say no. If you wait too long to say no, then they expect your help. When this happens, suddenly you’re a jerk! Not them, they feel no guilt, only disappointment.?
I am telling you this because it’s happening more and more. People want something for nothing, which is fine, but reasonable.
Then I think to myself, how often have I done this? Am I one of those people? I think I was with my dad. I was always asking him for help. Other than that, there are people I reach out to repeatedly for help or advice. I often ask them if they get tired of it and they say no every time.
On the other hand, people that keep reaching out to me get quite upset when I don’t have the time. I usually know it’s a problem when this happens. My wife is quick to point things like that out as well. She will make remarks about how often someone dips into my favor well but never returns the favor. I always say it’s about helping others, but I know she’s right. That’s one of my red flags.?
All I am trying to say here is sometimes you have to put yourself and your needs first.?
If you think this is going on, then please, take time to reflect. Maybe talk it over with a trusted friend or family member. At times like that I miss my parents, they were pretty blunt about that. They passed away several years ago, so that won’t happen.
What I can do is think about what they might say. This is a valuable tool. Step back, even outside yourself, and look at it from their perspective. Not your perspective, but the perspective of someone whom you trust and respect.?
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It’s not as easy as you think. That’s because you’re you.?
Remember two things, 1) it helps to see things from another perspective because that helps give you clarity and 2) you just can’t help everyone. Maybe knowing these little facts can give you some peace.?
Summing it up:
Have you ever tried to help someone who doesn’t seem to benefit from it? Sometimes, people may not want your help, they might just want something you have, like money or a favor. You might offer advice, but they ignore it or have hidden motives.
The message here is that sometimes you need to prioritize your own needs. If you feel you’re being taken advantage of, reflect on the situation or discuss it with someone you trust. I miss my parents’ straightforward advice on matters like this. They’ve passed away, but I try to imagine what they would say, which helps me gain perspective.
Remember, it’s not easy to step back and see things from another’s viewpoint, but it’s a valuable skill to develop. It helps you understand when it’s time to say no and take care of yourself first.
Cell Tower Lease Expert & Consultant. I Help Property Owners, Landlords & Attorneys Evaluate Cell Site Offers, Review Leases, Calculate Rent Values & Coach Them Through Tower Sales & Cell Tower Lease Buyout Negotiations.
7 个月Sounds like a good idea for your next book. ??
Technical Systems Specialist at InfraServices
7 个月Thank you Wade!! Great perspective, you're right on time as usual.