Did You Know That We Negotiate With Ourselves All the Time?

I’m often asked if anyone can become a skilled negotiator. The answer is a resounding YES! In truth, we negotiate on a daily basis — with ourselves. We just don’t call it negotiating.

If you change the word “negotiation” to “making a decision or compromise,” you will soon see how many times throughout the day you actually negotiate either with or for yourself.

Don’t believe me? Here are five things that we negotiate with ourselves on a regular basis:

1.??? Time management. Deciding how we will divide time between work and personal life is an example of negotiation. Time management decisions also include when to start or finish projects, when to take breaks during the day so you can perform at optimal levels, and even building time for creative activities.

2.??? Health and wellness. Go to the gym? Take a walk? Go to bed early or stay up late and sleep in? These decisions have consequences, they are built around compromise and they often involve actually talking ourselves into something.

3.??? Financial decisions. Have you ever justified a purchase by evaluating the life expectancy of that object? Do you contribute to your 401K? Do you consider long-term financial goals or look at immediate benefits?

4.??? Setting boundaries. We all negotiate work, personal and relationship boundaries on a regular basis. And truth be told, you can learn a lot about your negotiation style by looking at the boundaries you create, the boundaries you want to create but don’t, and the strength of your boundaries.

5.??? Managing our emotions. Have you ever said, “I don’t have time to get emotional right now”? Or have you ever said “I can’t deal with this now, but I’ll consider it later”? If so, these are examples of negotiating with yourself.

Did any of the five things resonate? Do you recognize the internal dialogues you’re having, and can you now accept that these are negotiations? If so, you are on your way to understanding one of the key concepts of negotiation: compromise.

As you are carrying on internal dialogues, you are in fact choosing and/or compromising on the best alternative. And if you do this regularly with yourself, it’s not too far a jump to consider how you can apply those skills when negotiating with others.

Contact me if you need some help thinking this through or if you want to hone your negotiation skills.

I’m on a mission to help women business owners embrace creative thinking in business. For more tips follow me in my weekly news Nancy Notes & Anecdotes click here .