Did you ever feel like you just didn't 'fit in'?

It hit me the other day when it was said, imagine the company I am an Independent Consultant for, didn't exist. That one took me by surprise and brought a whole lot of other feelings to the surface that I hadn't considered in my life before, and I just thought I would share incase anyone felt the same at some point in their life - or their whole life!!

As my kids say ... 'Back in the day'.... when I was young and being brought up as an Irish Catholic in Northern Ireland, I used to have to go to mass every Sunday, every holy day, and every first friday of the month and then in school just because we were literally attached to the church! You catholics out there know what this is all about; I can see you rolling your eyes or chuckling!! :) Well, I just didn't get it. Thats all. I just didn't get the whole scene of confessions, going to mass all these times, why everyone was the way they were etc etc etc. I just never felt like I 'fitted in' and I was wrong to even think of not going to mass because it was a 'mortal sin' to even think that way. I didn't get all the hell and damnation and guilt thing. It all just left me feeling inadequate, and like I wasn't good enough. Everyone else seemed to go along with the story, so I thought it was just me.

Then when I started college in Belfast, apparently I was 'bullied' for the first year. Do you know what, I didn't even notice! haha - my friends will laugh at this now as it became such a joke! I didn't notice as I just got on with my life, and assumed everyone else were just going places and didn't get chance to invite me! I was just 'different' and I guess, happy in my own wee Sheena world! I think I had just got used to that feeling of not 'fitting in' and accepted it as normal.

Then I went to work, and you know what, the same things happened initially in every workplace. I seemed to have people 'not like' me to begin with, and then when they got to know me, all was okay and we would have great friendships and fun. I just didn't know what it was - why I wasn't 'fitting in'!!

Oh, and two marriages which didn't work out later, I guess, I had trouble 'fitting in' there too!! :)

It then struck me when I joined a major Global pharmaceutical company. I finally 'fitted in'!! What I realised was, that I was with people who were either naturally positive and forward thinking, or were trained that way. After all, to be in sales, you have to be of a positive and independent mindset and forward thinker. I was with people who were smiling and being positive all the time.

You see, I am of a naturally positive mindset, and like to be at my best all the time. I am always smiling (haha well nearly always!) and love to be around people. It was like before, that people must have thought - why is she so happy! whats she up to!! haha, I don't know. I really don't. I just knew that when I was around these sales people, that I felt like I could just be myself.

Well, thats what the initial thought was. Then when I left, and started my own business, and started coaching people through Strengths (Positivity being my number one strength as it happens!), I started to notice that a lot of people in corporate are pretending. Its like, this is the face we put on for corporate, but underneath, lacking in confidence. It has really been a funny journey.

So, this leads me finally to the company that I am an Independent Consultant for now. I finally have found people globally who are on the same wavelength as myself. Wanting to develop others and help others live the life of their choice. The positivity and the never of 'why would you want to do that' but more of 'how can we help you achieve that' attitude, is completely overwhelming. The idea of being in business by yourself is a lonely one, however, not now. It is a supportive environment, none of which I have experienced before with leadership that is world class and inspirational.

My Strengths are Positivity, Woo, Empathy, Developer, Maximiser And it has so been my passion to be in a positive environment where people are helping others be the best they can and accepting people for who they are. Learning and developing together.

I 'fit in' because I don't have to 'fit in'. I can be myself and work how best suits me, doing what best suits me and helping others to do the same. People who resonate with me will be in my life, and those that don't, well.... they won't. And thats not my fault. Nor theirs. We are just on different frequencies. We serve others best, when we are truly being ourselves.

How fabulously lucky am I!!

If you ever feel like you don't 'fit in' and therefore feel 'small' or 'not good enough' - its not you, its the people you have surrounded yourself with. They are not on your 'wavelength'. Go out on your own, meet and network with so many people around the globe as Linked In allows you to. See what other people do. What resonates with you. Don't accept all information given to you, but don't neglect or reject it either. Find 'your' way. Even if part of a company. Find 'your' way.

Recently, I had a 'criticism' that I was too happy and positive. For the first time in my life, I can honestly say, I didn't bat an eyelid! I just thought. I wish you could see life the way I see it, and I wish you all the love and peace in the world.

So the point of this story is, don't try to 'fit in' to where you feel unconfident, small and awkward and that you feel not good enough. You are good enough. You are enough. So find people who resonate at your frequency, and then feel the joy of being around those people. Only you, my friend, can be the answer to that one.

To people who might think I am shining too brightly - well put on your sunglasses and lets crack on and see what happens!!! I am on a happiness journey. Jump on anytime my friend!!! Who knows where we will end up!

Wishing you all happiness and success

Sheena x

Oooops - forgot to mention this! I guess my first memory of thinking positively was when I was about 8 years old and travelling with my mum to work. She moaned the whole journey about hating her job. Even at that young age, I didn't get that. Why would you go to something for 8 hours a day that you didn't like? I made my mind up there and then that I would never do that. And I never have.