They Did and Others Can
I am re-publishing the below article that I wrote several years ago as the story hopefully can and will inspire many other educators to create student-led anti-bullying groups at their schools/districts.
Picture this; a middle school aged girl came into my classroom in the fall of 2011 and told me that she couldn’t take it anymore. When I asked her what she was referring to, she told me that the stress of being bullied was making her miserable and that she was having thoughts of ending her life.
During the course of the 2011-2012 school year, I was the teacher advisor to George Street Middle School’s anti-bullying program called Beyond the Hurt. In this article, I will share the empowering and joyful experiences I had with a group of young people who are simply some of the most extraordinary people I have ever met. They are living proof that students can help change a school culture and can directly have an impact on the bullying dynamic.
The Beyond the Hurt group was made up of 12 executive members as well as about 30 more students whom, although not on the executive, made large contributions of time and energy to our Beyond the Hurt program over the course of the school year. Some of these students had been targeted in the past by bullies and wanted to empower themselves and others to make positive changes at their school; others had been bystanders, witnessing bullying and at times feeling helpless to do anything about it. This group as well wanted to empower themselves so that in the future they could make more informed and positive choices when it came to witnessing bullying. Finally, there were also students who were admitted bullies, but who wanted to start the new school year off differently by sharing their experiences with other students and learning themselves better ways of coping with stress and anger management.
Who could have ever thought that this group of very different personalities, backgrounds and experiences, could come together to make such a huge impact on the student body at George Street, other schools within the school district, university students, teachers and even government officials? Well, I did and they did, and that was the first step, our rally cry for those who doubted us. Together, we were going to make a difference and help young people learn that bullying is not acceptable no matter the reason and will not be tolerated at our school or in our community. Equally, we were going to help young people help themselves.
I remember the first day that we were all together back in September, and it seems like it happened only yesterday. The students selected for the program were coming in for two days of intensive anti-bullying training, with adult facilitators from the Canadian Red Cross Beyond the Hurt program educating them, but also learning from them. Over the two days the students discussed their own personal experiences with bullying and quickly realized that the first step in changing the bullying dynamic was in talking about it and empathizing with one another, many of whom had played different roles in the bullying dynamic. They did such activities as role playing, a power game with cards (the higher the card a person had the more power they had) and a stepping forward activity, where each time a student answered yes to a bullying related question (e.g. have you ever bullied or have you ever gossiped with someone about a friend), he or she stepped forward one step. By the end of the questions, most students were at the other end of the wall and students realized that they had a lot in common. The training then, was a catalyst to getting them to open up and share their feelings in a safe and comfortable environment.
From there, students went on to do radio PSAs, to do one-hour talk show interview programs, and to do interviews in print media, all with the desire to get the message out that bullying can end and that the voices of youth is the key. They made presentations to their school peers, showing them how to intervene appropriately in a bullying situation, what signs to look for when someone is being bullied, how to report bullying, etc. As they presented to each homeroom class, it became evident that they were reaching their peers in a way that I never could. With me, it would seem more like a lecture, just another adult or teacher who is telling them yet again what to do, or not to do. With their peers presenting, they saw first-hand that people at the school cared about them and their situations and were willing to help guide them to positive and effective solutions. Even when presenting to adults (a few of them presented to my entire school district on cyber-bullying, some presented to university students training to be future educators, some presented to parents on how to monitor children on the internet, and several of them presented to our Minister of Education and his advisory committee), they did so with confidence, complete honesty and an unrivalled passion. It was especially the latter two qualities that I think changed the minds of some people and really made them connect with this group of students.
One of the most effective sessions this group had was with our staff of teachers. The students came up with some great ideas on how staff could make themselves more approachable and make it easier for students to report bullying, particularly the kind that is hidden in locker areas, the cafeteria and in changing rooms. They talked about teachers having drop boxes in their classroom where students, at their leisure could jot down the details of a bullying incident. Alternately, students could pass a note to their teacher and the teacher could address the issue when there was time. They also suggested that students go in pairs when reporting a bullying incident so that they feel more comfortable and less intimidated. As well, they suggested that often students who report bullying are called “snitches” by their peers. With that in mind, they suggested that the school have a “Snitches are heroes day” where students could learn the difference between telling on someone just to get them in trouble as opposed to reporting incidents that really help other people. Finally, as one of several other suggestions, they proposed the idea of having members of their group talk with students who had been guilty of bullying behavior, with the idea of helping them open up and reduce their stress. They recognized that they couldn’t give advice from a professional’s perspective but that they could lend an ear to someone in need and tell him or her how they cope with the stress and anger that they have in their own lives.
As a result of the great work these kids have been doing at George Street, there are more students willing to come forward and report bullying. Often though, the bullying does not even need to be reported to school staff, as students have learned to intervene and help each other before the bullying gets to the point where it requires staff intervention. In fact, I am proud to say that as a result of their hard work, George Street is considered by many to be a model in the province of New Brunswick of how to best address the important issue of school related bullying.
I have written about some of the amazing things a relatively small group of students did over the course of one school year to help address school bullying. This group of vastly different personalities and skill-sets were able to accomplish a great deal in a short amount of time and provide conclusive evidence that if every student body puts their mind to it, they can have the same results too. No, bullying is not going away and is still an issue at George Street, but at least students are helping to make the school a place where more and more students look forward to coming in the main door every day, with smiles on their faces. After all, every student has the right to learn and to be happy while doing so.
Picture this; that same student who met with me early in the fall of 2011, decided to become a member of Beyond the Hurt and to not end her life. As I write this, I can see her coming to visit me near the end of the school year in June, her eyes smiling, her tone joyful and her strength apparent. We only spoke for about five minutes that afternoon but the conversation will be remembered by me for a lifetime. When I told her that I hoped she would continue with Beyond the Hurt next year, she laughed and said “It saved my life, so why wouldn’t I?” I simply said in response, “I know you will”.