Diary of a Mentorship: Leadership Skills and Productivity

I took me more than I would have liked to stop by LinkedIn to start posting about my mentorship sessions with Maria (my mentee wishes to remain anonymous, so let’s use the name Maria). But here I am! Our mentoring relationship is developing very well, and I think that I'm learning and benefiting from this experience even more than Maria, I'm loving it ??! And, by the way, these posts are based on her notes from our meetings, so this post is common authorship, I cannot take all the credit.

In our first mentor session, my mentee came prepared with one personal topic that she wanted feedback on, plus two questions for me around career development and advancement. I added to the agenda a request for feedback of my public speaking skills after a recent company-wide presentation. I knew I could trust her to give me an honest review.?

Her questions:??

1. What leadership skills were the most difficult for you to develop but have been the most helpful in your career?

2. What habits have you found that help you to be most productive??

A summary of our discussion:?

Skills??

???Don’t give into pressure to conform to the group

I am not a multi-tasker, but I am constantly surrounded by very high-functioning ones, particularly since I moved to the US. At the start of my career, I felt like I was behind because I was not able to work long hours or nights as other junior attorneys in big law firms. And recently, I have felt the same way because I cannot multi-task like others in my company or respond emails in minutes from receiving them. What I’ve learned over the years is that this is one of my biggest strengths: the ability to focus and be fully present and engaged.??

Maybe I am not answering emails while in a meeting and will have to work longer hours to catch up, but I am getting every ounce of value from that meeting and making the presenter feel heard and appreciated with good eye contact and genuine interest.??

It took me a long time to develop the courage to be authentic in all aspects of my career. All aspects mean from the clothes I wear, to my accent, the way I manage a team or interact with the C-Suite in the companies I have worked for. But it’s an incredibly important leadership skill that everybody should have in mind. ????

???Feedback is crucial

Asking for feedback and giving feedback have both been very difficult for me. People don’t always tell you the truth. Why? Maybe they fear backlash or don’t want to hurt your feelings. Maybe you don’t give feedback to your colleagues because you don’t think it’s your place.??

Feedback isn’t always easy, but it’s important for growth. If you want feedback, ask for it. Make it very clear that you want honesty, even if it may be hard to hear. And most importantly, if someone is honest with you and you don’t like what they have to say, never get upset. On the contrary, you should be grateful, because it’s not easy to give hard feedback either.??

Habits

? Learn what activities give you energy and which drain you

For me, I need time with myself to recharge. I am a morning person, and being alone to run, read, think, etc. without work or any other distractions is extremely important. My husband travels a lot, and when he is home, it’s hard to choose to go on my run or work out instead of having breakfast with him. However, I know that it is what will give me the energy I need to get through my day, so I prioritize that over other activities in the morning, while in the evenings, I prioritize spending time with family.??

??Prioritize sleep. At least 7 hours, no exceptions?

As much as I need my morning runs, I need my sleep more. If there’s a night that I need to stay up late for some reason, I will always prioritize a little more sleep in the morning. Sometimes I feel terrible because it makes me feel behind that morning. But in the long term, I realize that it is totally worth it, because I end up having a productive day that would have been impossible without proper sleep. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, and it’s important to forgive yourself for not being super productive all the time.?

? Be the owner of your own work schedule

Set clear expectations with your team on your availability. If I’m in full-day meetings (and as we already discussed, I do not multi-task), I sometimes will put an out of office on my calendar with a note that I will be in meetings all day and will not respond right away. I also give my team and colleagues a heads up a day or two before and ask them if there’s anything they need from me beforehand.???

Another tip is to separate your meeting days from your productive days for focused work. Schedule your focus time and prioritize it.??

??Feeback on my public speaking

And last but not least, feedback. At the end of our session, I asked Maria for feedback on my performance during a company event in which I participated during the International Women's Day as speaker. And Maria did it great. At the beginning, she praised all the things that she liked: my engagement with the audience, the authenticity in my responses and the "down to earth" approach. After that, she had the courage to tell me things that I can improve, such as combining adequately the engagement of audience both remote and in-person (something that all of you that participate in hybrid events can relate to, I'm sure), and the pronunciation of some words that I did not pronounce correctly (for example, women vs woman).

It was the perfect balance between positive and constructive feedback, and given in a very honest way, which I profoundly appreciate and made it very effective. Also, she ended up suggesting some apps and ways to practice my pronunciation, so she added great value to my learning journey.

English is not my first language, and I always feel very scared speaking in public or even writing in English because I know that it will not be perfect. Accepting that I can do things that are not perfect and be ok with that took me a long time. I'm an attorney at the end of the day, and I think that we all strive for perfection. Now, I strive for excellence that is not necessarily perfection. I'm glad that I'm able to accept it because it means that I'm trying and if you try, you're learning and growing.

So now I pass the same questions on to you, my LinkedIn Community.??

1. What leadership skills were the most difficult for you to develop but have been the most helpful in your career??
2. What habits have you found that help you to be most productive?
3. What are you trying right now?