Diary of an Isolated Director - Toxic Success

Hay. How are we all doing?

I have had a couple of calmer weeks which has been just what I needed. I didn't even freak out when the announcement came that March 8th was the new aim to get kids back to school. The reaching out really did help.

But what I have observed during this time is a wave of Toxic Success. This is what I can describe as the business version of Toxic Positivity mixed with Imposter Syndrome. 

It comes across as well-meaning success stories. However, when business owners are on their knees, some stories feeling a little tone-deaf and soul-destroying rather than motivational.

What about now?

That said I want to hear about current success and cheer on my peers, employees and clients.

What I do not need:

• A regurgitated version of the 100 things a successful person does in the morning.
• How someone won a deal two years ago has made them the success they are today and how they did it - we live in a VERY different world right now.

That shipped has sailed. I want to hear about the achievements and progress made while the world was turning to shit. I want to listen to stories I can relate to. 

And I know I am not alone with this.

Mute

I have been muting, removing and not listening to anything that makes me feel less than. I know every day I show up and do the best I can, and I do not need anyone to piss on that bonfire. I am quite capable of doing that myself if and when required. 

Apples with Apples

This means when I hear a "success" story of someone that sacrificed their health or family life to make six figures in 2 minutes. That's great, but not an option for me. We all know I have a 24/7 voluntary role as a parent, and I work school hours because I can get the work done and focus on the business, our staff and clients while the boy is at school [insert laughter about the last six words]. At the moment getting that headspace alone is tricky, so getting more time to do something spectacular will be like finding a Black Knight Skin in Fortnite (apparently that is rare).

One day Rodney...

Don't get me wrong I am incredibly ambitious.

I want to get to a point when the business is worth money so Polly and I have options that can leave us with some financial freedom. But not at all cost. We have already put blood, sweat, money and tears into our business. We have both burnt out, dealt with all manner of losses and made sacrifices that have meant we had to work on a better work-life blend (ok perhaps not right at this moment). And speaking to other business and agency owners, this is the path they are also choosing. But that hasn't stopped them getting sucked into the misconception that their choice not to work 7 am - 10 pm Monday to Friday, and 8 am - 8 pm on weekends is somehow = less worthy of success.

The answer is - you do you. 

I know for the next 5 - 8 years I will not be able to do more than what I currently can. I have resigned myself to that, and if anything changes, I then have choices.

It doesn't mean I am not happy for those who choose a different way to work Sandra! It just means I can not going to compare myself with you. And if we get the pleasure to work together, expectations and boundaries will be set, like with any relationship. I work with many clients that work more hours than I do, and have done for many years - they don't care when I clock off as long as they are looked after and the quality of work is high. Actually, one new client actually wanted to work with TFG because of our work ethic and family values. 

Respect and compassion for differences are essential, and remember comparison is the thief of joy.

So do keep the success stories coming. 

I would particularly love to hear the wins of those:

1. That have done something that made a difference when they are at the end of their tether.
2. Especially from those that have thought about giving it up and becoming a waitress instead!
3. And if you are a "part-time" business owner like me, what is keeping you alive at the moment?

On that note *shuts down computer*