Diary of an Isolated Director - Making the call

Who has hit what they thought was rock bottom so far this year? 

*puts both hands up*

*and both feet*

Since the last instalment I hit it again, but this time rather than going to sleep, I reached out.

This came after an incredibly stressful day where I had a client meeting, and no matter the child prep beforehand to explain:

• the importance of the call
• that I would be down in 1 hour (because I have to go to my bedroom and close two doors to have some quiet)

My son came in three times.

THREE TIMES. 

First to tell me he had finished all his work. Ok, great well done.

The second to ask if he could have Xbox time. As it was 9:55 am - the answer was "no" and "please let me finish this call". 

Then, THEN he purposefully stomped upstairs and demanded Xbox time.

At that point, highly embarrassed and furious, I muted my call and did the parent death stare and said something along the lines of "if you don't go downstairs as I expressly asked the last two times that Xbox is going in the incinerator with your laptop and I will make you light the match".

Safe to say tensions ran high.

Conversations about being kind and respectful (AGAIN) had to happen. Apologies were given. Xbox and laptop time revoked for the rest of the day much to my annoyance of "I'm bored", "I said I am sorry" that followed until bedtime. More conversations about consequences - it was like a broken record that I was bored listening to, but I knew I had to follow through.

Reaching out #1

On this day I also reached out to the school. I asked what support they could give me as my son would have started sessions with the schools ELSA (emotional learning support assistant) in Year 3, but Lockdown One began. Thankfully the school responded quickly. On Friday, I spoke to ELSA, discussing behaviour strategies, and then the SENCO on Monday, where we discussed the same but in line with his sensory support.

Banning all tech that day hit hard. And then to see that I was serious in his request for help has made a difference. And that can be all that it takes, can't it? 

Lesson learnt

Whether you are 8 years old or almost 39 (Birthday coming up soon peeps), to have been heard and then action taken other than lip service, is powerful.

Based on that, and putting a plan of action together to support my son, I had to do the same for myself. I reached out to my step-dad and asked if we can form a childcare bubble so that every week I can do one or more of the following:

• Speak to my counsellor - just having that date in my diary makes me feel better than what I do now.
• Go food shopping alone - you can keep your holiday to Ibiza this would be heavenly right now.
• Go for a long walk or a run - my need for solo exercise is real. 
• Speak to a friend without little ears.
• Do nothing - just as important to me. Staring into the void might sound like a waste of time to many, but enjoying silence is not.

You will be glad to know that he has agreed, and Wednesday afternoons are pencilled - actually SHARPIED in.

Beyond THAT day

Around that, some fantastic conversations have happened off the back of my previous article with fellow agency owners (some more to come). Something is comforting in knowing that peers are having similar experiences. Speaking with a few other agency owners on and offline, the buzz word seems to be 'Survival'. 

This lockdown certainly has a different feel to it.

I had the pleasure of speaking to Stephen Nolan on Radio 5 Live about homeschooling, working from home and isolation. It is nice to talk openly and honestly that it isn't easy, I have never had the urge ever to bake banana bread, and I know I won't get it back - I never asked for it in the first place. And that is totally ok to feel this way. 

That said, TFG future is looking bright. We are grateful the team are still working through this one with Flexi furlough in play and thankful for the fellow agency connections we are making. Having peer support is priceless.

So again the point to all of this *points up* - reach out, make the call and talk. What is the worse that can happen?

Nat