Diamonds in the dirt

Sun shining brightly and bluebells blooming.

Coffins piling up in churches.

Time to think, grow, meditate.

Fear to buy food.

Exercising more than ever before.

Wearing a handmade mask and disposable gloves to enter the supermarket.

Spending more time with my children.

Homeschooling without any prep or ability to do it, while juggling my own work.

Skyping and Zooming people I haven’t heard from for years.

Not being able to hug my mum.

Never before, I experienced such a rollercoaster of emotions: sadness, happiness, deep-rooted gratitude…

How is that possible? My mind cannot quite figure it out yet.

My body feels strong for all the Joe Wicks sessions. The daily meditation sessions keep my nerves at bay, in spite of the many challenges my tired and tantrum-prone children throw at me. Most of the times, I accept the bouts of sadness with no inner talk. I know this too shall pass. How different from before, when I felt a failure just for crying!

My work is picking up again. Survival mode kicked in a few weeks ago, and I managed to salvage the sinking boat. How is it possible that I found that strength in me? Where is it hiding? Why doesn’t always come out?

This time in history is teaching me about myself, my limits and my strengths, more than all the time I spent on Earth before it.

I learned that I can cut my own hair.

Make dinners out of thin air.

And create work and income pulling together all my knowledge, experience, and mostly, my willingness to do so.

Every single one of us has an infinite pool of capabilities and skills hiding under our bums sitting on the sofa, watching Gogglebox. Every single one of us has the potential to come out of our comfortable skin to reach new highs. To work out our lives. Beat procrastination. Beat self-deprecation, victimism, self-sabotage.

Did we need a pandemic to see the diamonds hiding in the dirt? To be put right in front of our own painful limits and push through?

Maybe.

I am curious to see who we will have become after this.