Dialogue as a skipping rope

A Dialogue amongst women and witnessed by silent men

When we Dialogue, it’s like standing on the side of the long skipping rope that we played with as a child. Two others spin the rope and we rock backwards and forwards in order to get under it and into the rhythm without tripping ourselves up or tangling ourselves in the cord. 

Once we get into the rhythm of the Dialogue, we gain the courage to speak about our comfort with death as if it were a drop of ocean in between time and space. After the words we feel a resonance. We breathe more deeply. We slow down our thoughts and emotions. 

Mother and Manager

We reflect on having two jobs; mother and manager. We reflect on the energy it takes for us to be a friend, to be a provider and to be a parent. Sometimes it seems our life decisions must wait for others to make their decisions; on a mortgage, on a job; on the direction of our indebted lives.

We ask ourselves which strands do we really have control over? Which strands are safe? Which of them are dangerous? We settle on the thought that consciousness is not about being happy. If it were, we would not feel so threatened by the shadow of the patriarchy of silent men who do not know their hearts desire; and who operate in the world from their head’s intentions.

Men as Silent Witnesses

We Dialogue with the intention to understand each other while some men of our community sit in silence for the entire session; witnessing the women in sacred communication with each other. We touch on whether or not the masculine is indeed the stronger part of us or is it just a fallacy? 

We see that masculinity deflects religion, politics and nature in one fell swoop. We know that some of the men we know, do not like to discuss matters of the heart or their emotions. We realise that safety amongst them is a personal journey and a matter of personal responsibility. 

We see that truth means standing our own ground when we are judged. It means maintaining our external posture of strength or perhaps of our professionalism while internally we are in pain and suffering caused by the gender who witnesses us. 

It is not always men that degrade women; sometimes women degrade each other, and these wounds are deeper and more hurtful. 

How do we inspire women to celebrate and aggrandize themselves? How do we help them know how amazing they are? One of the women notices that she is starved of the company or other women in her life. She is left with no choice but to admire men. 

Mankind is a limit of language  

One woman says that as soon as the word mankind is mentioned, she disappears. The limitation of language speaks her out of existence. She sees that the spelling is not an inclusive spell. She disappears into her body. She does not feel included. 

As we try to notice the thought before we speak the word, the very thing we meet is the present moment. And we sense how much time there is in that present moment. It is full of awe without being awful!

We wonder who we shall be, if there is no payoff in this lifetime. Growth provides us with no guarantee of being pretty or even of being painless. Some of us sit in the role of observer, but who observes the observer? 

We notice the words Patriarch and Matriarch. Yet we have never heard of the word Natriarch which contains them both. Perhaps we need new language? 

Now Young Lady

Still, when women become too powerful, patriarchal men say ‘now young lady’ as if they were speaking to a child. Immature men continue to exert unconscious control with their very thoughts, never mind their conscious actions. 

We stumble upon a big secret. Mostly, men make women laugh to themselves. We are asked to meet the chaos with love. But over time, internalised oppression takes its toll and all that we learned from our mother becomes us, whether we like it or not. So, if our mother hated women and loved men; over many years, we may find ourselves unconsciously imitating her. 

When women reach puberty, menstrual cycles make it more complicated to run with the boys. We are asked to become a Disney princess but is this genuine femininity? What do we even compare genuine masculinity to anyway; Prince Charming?

If there were no such thing as patriarchy, what would femininity be like? Don’t we already take control of our families and at the same time allow men to feel as if they are in control so that they feel powerful?

Immature ego at play

In a household, we are given the impression of entitlement. We are told we get to be whoever we want. But with so much immature ego at play, we soon realise that it is up to us to keep that entitlement intact. We wonder what does a balanced lifestyle look like?

Does it mean equal pay? But what about all the unpaid work? Does it mean being a mother and father at the same time? Does it mean creating a happy medium in the home so that nobody has to adjust too much or too little? 

We notice our topic and how it changes our mood as a group of women being witnessed by silent men. We notice how the word creates the dynamic and taps into the power of the circle. Women may have inevitable power, yet any kind of oppressor creates a mind-fold manacle at different levels; mental, social, economic, physical, sexual. 

We think about how the impending technology expansion will affect status and power. How will the power dynamic change? How can we call out what is happening when the rabbit hole opens up and we all get swallowed by it?

Where is our Billie Jean King?

Where is our Billie Jean King? How can the grandiosity of what she did for women be balanced with her naivete in her real life away from the tennis courts? Are women only here to complete men? Are we bait in their game of cat and mouse?

Perhaps women’s inner power has been disabled by political and social correctness? Perhaps it has been restricted by chivalry? 

Women’s Power

A woman has a terabyte of power in one simple glance and any person on the end of that glance knows it. Such a glance brings a shiver to his spine. 

Yet each of us have to avoid getting baited by the other. We think about the mania of irrationality. We think about the irrationality of mania. There is only one source from which the power is sent. Sometimes, we just need to turn down the volume. 

Some of the women do not want to play the game anymore. We have been indoctrinated into rules and it all catches up after a while. Tradition, religion and being the head of the household as a single parent have taken its toll. We learned how to serve men. We learned how to run the house. Some of us are not allowed to work in certain cultures. We are automatically told to look after the children. 

The natural power that creates the earth is asked to bow down to the masculine system. If a man can do, then women can do it too. Take Karate for example. But as the law of attraction suggests; the more we fight it, the more we attract it. Some of us know what it is like to be sexually harassed on the second day of work. 

We are asked to pack our sexuality in a briefcase and to behave like a man. When a woman’s skin is a different colour, it adds an extra ‘ism’ to the mix. We are asked why we want to play in the man’s world of economics. Is it to use our brain? Is it to have a job? Is it to honour the liberation of the sixties? 

We have to go from being Daddy’s little girl to protecting ourselves from predators and vampires. Men made this world. They choose it. We think of our mothers who created the soul of a family yet who were trapped in a relationship. We think of our fathers who were only doing their best. We understand why they did what they did and why they did it.

Adversity softened us

We think about the negatives and the positives. Adversity softened us. This is how we learned forgiveness. Our daughters taught us that if love were a person, it would be embodied in them. This was all we ever needed to hear. These are enough words for one lifetime. Raising a daughter also raises a mother. 

Women appear to have one simple truth to experience: how to remain in integrity with their heart. Life is short and there is no short cut to get to the juice of it. We meet adversarial forces and we are told that it is for our own good. It is a beast and it is the beauty at the same time. We are told that we need to be taught the lesson, but we forget what the lesson is because the wounding is far too severe, and it lasts too long. 

There is a higher majority of women in marketing and HR roles in corporations. This is where the feminine is invited but not allowed to be. The requirement to report on every little thing makes the role more masculine and sometimes men are more feminine because they have the time to do so. They are not shackled by and ERP system that gobbles up dead information. 

Feminine Toxicity

There is as much feminine toxicity as there is masculine toxicity. Gossip is a good example. Women are experts in working each other out of the group. Underhandedness is a common tool that women use against each other. They adopt a toxic version of it. 

Men say that women are a little too emotional, a little too crazy. They are asking for that goldilocks woman, not too sweet not too spicy. Women want to be seen not to be like this. Yet we come from it. We create it and we live it. 

One woman speaks about her greatest hurt at the hands of another woman. She had invested a lot into her role, and she learned how to handle the shit. But the onslaught of toxicity was simply too much and her personal information was used to exit her from a system. She felt thrashed at every turn. Her naivete became a dysfunction. She looked through herself and she could not handle the bile. 

She raised it with anger, but she could see how the men did not want to get involved. They did not want to deal with the fury of generations. They could feel the contempt and they knew that being burned at the stake was a daily reality. 

Pardon us for bleeding on the earth

Pardon us for bleeding on the earth. 

We ask how to own our own vengeance. We call on our Scorpio natures, our passion and our discipline. We have to decide to push back what was pushed onto us. Our heads need some data. We want to inflict pain on our sister that hurt us.

We want to see it and end it more quickly next time. The poison is bittersweet. We need to be in authority of our own inner responses. Our emotions need dredging. It is like being in front of Schrodinger’s Cupboard; the plates are all leaning on the glass door and as soon as the door is opened, they will crash to the floor. They are all whole and broken at the same time.

The rage belongs to the world

But our rage belongs to the world and not just to us women. We need to give it the space to breathe. Wellbeing depends on fire. It lives in the energy of the system. It lives in the hubris and the blood of the women. The cure is in the women’s blood. We are the grail. 

The Catholic Church stole some parts of femininity by dressing up in feminine costumes and each layer of the clergy had more expensive clothes than the previous layer. Yet when women meet the priesthood eye to eye; it sets a different tone. 

The medical system is also a very old one. There are strict rules and regulations and a high percentage of the members of the system do not want to change. They avoid variation at all costs. Most male dominated systems have a short-term vision. 

Taking off her bra

Yet the moment a woman takes her bra off in the corporate environment, her breasts are stared at. ‘Look in my eyes’ men are told and yet they are transfixed. Women win contracts in this way and men are not even listening. Women know how to manipulate men when they need to. Do women have to hide their body parts in order not to distract men? What is left? The eye patch? The burkah? 

If women want to land the spaceship of equality, the container must be big enough for a vortex. Each moment will make them more vulnerable and it fuels the process just to be in it. Joining together, being cohesive, bonding to the collective and to ourselves. All our relations include the plants, and the oceans and the animals and the trees too. So where is home exactly? How are our reflections witnessed in ordinary daily life? Do we suddenly remember that there are men in our circle? 

We feel for men

We feel for men. Its’ not easy for them to give up their privileges. They no longer know what to do. They have to take on our experiences. They have to be more specific. Healing the power divide is not easy. When they try to be more mindful and thoughtful, it is a minefield. So how can they learn more about us?

We choose to acknowledge that we may have hurt each other in previous dialogues. When one of you said you loved men, I became angry. I was annoyed that you said that. I’ve been hating men for a long time and there is no such thing as co-incidence. 

Can we have men as best friends without it being sexual? Can they be a soul friend? Can we avoid tarring and feathering them with the same brush? In South Africa there is a rape every four minutes. Violation and hatred are the vibrational frequency. 

Loving Souls

Why can’t we meet as loving souls? No gender. No sexuality. No straight, not gay, not in between. Just a space to share our love. A place to burn our bras. When we do not like men, we focus on the children. We create heart centeredness that does not include the men who co-created them. 

It is only when we love and accept ourselves that such a container is possible. Living for others is a hiding to nothing. Society becomes in authentic very quickly behind closed doors. The deep conversation at the school gate becomes gossip on the private whatsapp group. 

When we live who we are, the tribe arrives. We are a tribe here today, even for only a few hours. Most of us have never met in person, and her we in digital intimacy. Anyone can be here. It is beautiful and coherent. Experiment or not, we are not a co-incidence. We are sharing what love we have, in the now, in the Dialogue. 

Walking Alchemy

The closer we are, the more alchemy walks among us. We live in this moment to hear our own truth spoken from our lips for the first time. We want to invest in truth, not in corporations. We want to affirm that we stand in alignment. We want to come together when we stray, and we want to do it more quietly. We want to invest if life’s experiences without being afraid of walking the streets. 

If we had two moments of bliss in our lifetime, what would we do with them? 

The tears want to leave our faces. We want to melt the iceberg. It melts inside on our pillows at night. We struggle with communicating who we really are. We are not met. We do not meet each other. We do not feel our feelings, we suppress them with distractions. We become harsh in the face of sensitivity. 

There is an agenda and a hidden agenda

We see an agenda and we all know what is going on. If we want to be sensitive beings, we need to live on a sensitive planet. With our move to a purely technology lifestyle, what we read is not what is. We read what we want to read, and we miss the nuance. 

We feel immediate discomfort. We thought that we sorted that shit inside ourselves years ago. It turns out that it is a new level of shit. 

Even if we want to honour a man, it is difficult to say so in conversation with immature women. There are too many landmarks and mines. Too many women have been hurt by immature men and they joke about it on the outside and cry about it on the inside. 

We need an old type of community, an old energetic space to breathe. If we want to be part of it, we have to create it ourselves. We can mimic mother nature. Body, children, environment. But we don’t know how to integrate it back into the masculine matrix that has been created over tens of thousands of years. 

Landing the ship through dialogue

How do we close the door and open a new one at the same time? How do we land the ship? With fluttering hearts, we think that it can work. We feel something shining in the distance. In small groups, if we are protected and witnessed by men, they become guards of our heart’s intentions and deep desires. 

Something new emerges inside us which is the size of the expanding universe. It is good to feel like a woman. We speak soul to soul. There is freedom here under this skipping rope. We do not have to suppress our creativity. We are true to our own listening. We can tune into understanding. 

We need to listen to men at a different level

One day, we need to listen to the men at a different level. Not just with our ears, but with our hearts. We need to drop the politics of loathing. We need to drop the facts and listen to what is in their hearts. 

Men are often an emblem of some kind of male image. But what of those who are not? What if men need to be more feminine but the other men do not let them? 

What if sustainability is the problem?

What if the sustainability that they speak of is actually the problem? Sustainability of what? Surely all the capitals that fascinate them are social relationships in process. What if capitals are just the instrumentality of thoughts? And what if the thought is incoherent?

We are all rats on a wheel of some kind or another. Earth is a circular system, yet capitalism and communism is square. We need to find a digital monastery to go to to be quiet. We need to find the sacred in the mundane. We need a new model of spiritual capital. We need a model of cosmic capital. 

We have to go beyond our own understanding. We have to go beyond what we feel and to touch what touches us. We have to go beyond ideology. We have to tap into pure consciousness and awareness. It is all meta-physical. 

We need to channel more. We need to go on sacred journeys every day and not just once in a lifetime. We are all on this same journey together and it is greatly mysterious. We can easily tap into ideas of how things might work, and we can check through dialogue if our concepts are related or not. 

We need to paint a bigger picture than our own ego can imagine. We can tap into the unending light, the light of the souls who have gone before us and who will come after us. We need to go beyond the philosophy and the spirituality that defines us. We need to think beyond concepts into the great immeasurable love that women feel all the time. 

Feelings meeting intentions

When our feelings meet our intentions, we step into pure power. Universal love opens up anyone’s heart. It does not really matter what we think. It only matters THAT we think.  We need to leave thoughts behind, or at least watch them as they pass by incoherently. 

We need to block beauty and identity. We need to suspend likes and dislikes. We need to shut down our filters of pain and suffering and belonging. We need to see the inner conflict in our thoughts. We need to leave these places we have created for ourselves even for a few moments of time. 

We need to unbox everything we were taught. We can put them back in the box later and perhaps re-arrange some of them. We need to feel the physiology of the meta-physical. We need to feel shocked and intuitive and horrified and still surrender. 

Beyond knowledge

We need to go beyond knowledge so that we can know knowing itself. We need to go beyond dogma into gnosis. We need to think aloud in a place that thinking is allowed. We can go from paradigm to paradise. 

We an perform our own open-heart surgery. We can understand more than our brain by holding our thoughts and feelings lightly. 

The real job at this time is to confront ourselves. 

We need to confront our own delusions caused by brain damage. Our trauma is brain damage. Yet they are all initiations. We cannot judge others, when we do not judge ourselves. 

Stop Selling

We can stop selling our cleverness, our judgment, our comparison, our divisions and deficiencies. We can end the need for external validation. We can use our many other intelligences to go beyond, by going beneath. We can safely dismantle our ego selves. 

We can help people replace their fuses with a smaller ampage. We ought to shut down at 2 watts instead of 20 watts. We ought to be able to stop the words flying out of our mouth with rage and simply shut down and get to safe place. A safe place for our own thoughts, a safe place for others. 

Too many people have high fuses and they let it all stack up for days, months and years. Then when it trips, there is a volcano instead of a trickle of tears. 

We are all here to ground

We are all here to ground. 

We can let it all arrive gently and carefully. We can float in pure potential all the time. We can maintain our own awareness all the time. We can carry our mother and father wound with compassion. We can end the hurt for seven generations in one moment.

We are all in a huge boat. It is a boat of righteousness and wrongteousness. There is gold and shadow. There is culture and custom. We are all fighting for what is supposed to be instead of accepting what is. 

The conflict is within us. We own the greed and the power and the never enough. We have to prove to others what we do not believe about ourselves until they believe it. We have to prove what it takes to be good enough. 

We need more collective enquiry. We need to know what we are thinking and feeling in real time. We need to know what we are seeing and hearing and how we are processing it. We are all tapping into something incredible, yet we limit it by trying to make it credible. 

Shifting lovingly

How can we shift lovingly? How can we be part of a living loving wave? How can we be part of the ocean of deep potential? We can all smell it. We can all see it. It is ever near. If we stay in one place for long enough, we become the potential itself.

We are not waiting for anything or for no-thing. We are the thing. We can own our deep suffering of waiting and we can open our hearts to each other. That sounds static, but it is really ecstatic. 

Imagine hearts communicating as well as brains communicating. We can hear the ecstasy. We can feel the movement in our own hearts, no matter how clever we are in our brain. Our heart frequency is a different kind of thinking. 

What if we work on our heart and our feelings for a thousand years? Instead of being exposed to the brain, we could be exposed to the heart. In this place, there would be less words and our shifts and movements would be re-calibrated. 

We would feel all of the internal suffering and love anyway. 

Whatever the noise inside, we are all trying to make heart connections. We are all kinds of being here on earth. We all have different resonances, yet we have similar frequencies. 

We are a grounded form of light. We are unfolding truth. We are coming and going with no force. We are an acceptance of our own resonance. We are the infinite potential. We are in the explicate and in the implicate. We are beyond thoughts. We are not seeking, we are allowing. 

There is no entitlement in the universe, when it unfolds. It takes its own journey and it deeply resonates as it lands within us.

Our Dialogue ends in silence.