Diagnosis: Emotional Attachment Issue
When I think about every little detail, every occurrence, every setback, and every encounter in my life that's ever happened to me-I don't want it to be random. It can't be random. I don't want anyone to take that belief from me.?
Once upon a time, I took a "personality" test that asked me a series of questions asking me to pick what best describes who I am and, in the end, summarized my traits on a score between one and ten. I am trying to remember if one was a strength or if ten was, but that's not the point. I met with a coach to walk through and point out areas I can improve on now that this test has identified them for me.?
"Emotional attachment" was identified as a weakness in my profession as a sales professional.
"Here are some identifiers to help you recognize when you are getting emotionally involved and some alternative approaches," said my coach (as she read from her training manual). I'm paraphrasing that conversation because it was years ago, but it has stuck with me. I remember staying quiet as she continued, as I politely nodded and thanked her for her time. She was doing her job, and the service she offers does help people. I get that. Even though my beliefs don't align with their services, they did help me. It helped me be more aware of who I am and how I got RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.?
So, when my collegiate career ended and I graduated, I was too emotionally attached to that woman. So I decided to stay in Indiana, knowing I would likely never go home again and marry her.??
Every subsequent step after that moment, good or bad, forward or backward, resulted in an outcome I didn't know I wanted but realized I so severely needed later in my life. And when I thought I might lose everything I had become so emotionally attached to because of my struggles, something happened that I can't explain to you in words, only actions. There was this common denominator in almost every situation I categorized as a setback: It was God.?
I leaned in, and I started to trust Him. I became emotionally attached to my faith. The more I put my faith in Him, the better I accepted what came next.?
领英推荐
To me, nothing is random, and there are no coincidences.
Why would I want to prevent myself from becoming emotionally attached to something? Regardless of the outcome, I believe God will use it for something better. According to an algorithm, my emotional attachment might be a weakness, but I don't care because it's who I am, and I see it as a strength.?
A tie or very close second might be passionate, though. I'm passionate about nearly everything I do. Had my "coach" talked about this trait after my personality assessment, I likely would have leaned in closer. Learning to say no or the difference between saying yes to something while simultaneously saying no to something else.?
But our focus was on my emotional attachment, which I didn't know at the time but now is an essential characteristic of my faith and defines exactly how I want to live my life. I want to show what I can't explain in words. The people I'm attached to which is not limited to only my wife and kids. It's also my friends, my colleagues, and even my clients. Especially my clients. If we are going to work together, "there's something you have to know about me."?
I'm going to get emotionally attached.
A personality test tried to tell me who I am, and someone's interpretation of that test told me how to fix my problems, and that's fine. I'm not here to debate over anyone's belief in personality assessments (I get it). I'm only here to say that who you are was already defined by someone else.?
No test is ever going to change that.?
Because I'm emotional, and because of that characteristic, I have failed and failed and then failed some more, bringing me right here, right now, this very moment, to tell you that I don't believe that anything is random, and there are no coincidences.?
God's just connecting the dots.
Derek
I facilitate collaboration to enhance culture, productivity, and performance.
1 年I could not agree more. It's only in knowing that the craziness we face in life is part of a bigger plan that brings me peace. This is why I embrace the crazy and welcome it with open arms. It allows me to do more and be more than I could have ever imagined.
Account Manager with Upstream Rehabilitation
1 年Derek, I could not resonate with you more on this post. I have fallen into the trap of randomness and coincidence far too often in my life. It has caused me to overanalyze many moments. It has caused me to raise the expectation that another will come along. It has created an anxiety over when the next random or coincidental moment may happen. And because of all of these I am certain that I may have missed out on other impactful moments in my life. Only when I lean in and live through faith do I find that it is God's plan through and through. And those moments of impact were his and his alone to send me to. Those moments thus become some of the most powerful and life changing. So, I remind myself daily to keep my eyes and ears open to these moments. But understand they were placed there long before I ever knew I needed them, or they would affect me. Thanks again for your insight and your willingness to be vulnerable and open regarding who you are and where life has taken you.