Diagnosed with ADHD at 47! My Story

Diagnosed with ADHD at 47 a blessing or a curse?

I don’t know whether this will be a super power or not. But it will be me and that’s more important. I can’t change the past but I can shape the future.

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My recent diagnosis of ADHD has changed my outlook of life and lead to the statement above!

The start of the end was when one of my closest friends who I have known for nearly 40 years asked if I had ever been assessed for ADHD?as I couldn’t sit still. What happened next was truly mind altering for me.?

To understand the future we need to start at the beginning….

My background:

My life over the past few years has been tough to say the least. I own and run a business that was connected to the sports industry and it really struggled through Covid. When no one can play sport it makes it hard to sell equipment or uniforms.?

We managed to get the business through some incredibly tough times. A lot of the time I wanted to chuck in the towel. The realisation I supported more than 10 families got me out of bed each morning. The side effect of this was that I had to have a nap most afternoons as that was the only way I could turn off my brain.

A similar thing with the sleeping happened about 6 years ago when I was working in a corporate environment. I had a large corporate role with people scattered throughout NZ and a lot of responsibility. We had just finished a massive renovation on our house and I was all over the place. I effectively got to a point where I just couldn’t function anymore. Hardly slept for 2 weeks and I could not turn off my brain. I have a note from that time which says “I just can’t find the roadmap to get out of my head.” I ended up having nearly 3 months off work and I was diagnosed with depression. In hindsight an incorrect diagnosis.?

I took anti depressants, I went to therapy and got “better”. I stayed in a less stressful corporate role for 12 months, left the corporate life, started up my own business and ended up buying some of the company I now run and are the majority shareholder of.

The difference between the 2 episodes was this time I couldn’t just stop. I had families that relied on me for their income. They had children to feed, mortgages to pay and commitments.?

My income was cut back by 50% for 6 months to help us through. My marriage ended during this time because of the stresses of money and the fact that I couldn’t stop having an afternoon nap among other things.?

The diagnosis story:?

I was on a boys weekend with my 3 oldest friends. These guys have known me my entire life.?

We had a whisky cask that we got filled during lockdown. It had been down for a year and we were going to have a look and a bit of a sample.??

We had a great weekend. Sampled our whisky and drunk too much as you do and relived some of the crazy things we had got up to over the past 40 years together.?

On the day we were due to fly out we were having Lunch at a cafe in Dunedin and I was sitting next to one of my mates and couldn’t sit still. He asked me to keep still. My response that I physically couldn’t and that it hurt had him staring at me. He asked if I had ever been assessed for ADHD.?

I obviously said no and what a strange thing to ask someone only a few years away from 50. To appease him I went onto the link he mentioned at?adhd.govt.org?and answered a raft of questions. It’s a 10-15 question questionnaire and you answer them and press a button and it gives you an idea. They only take into account 6 of the questions and I got 6/6 for nearly the first time ever. Obviously this is not a diagnosis so I booked in a meeting with my GP a couple of weeks later and went to see her. She agreed that I should get assessed as I may have ADHD.?

That was in November 2022. I managed thru more of a fluke to get an appointment with a psychiatrist in Feb 2023. I had to travel to Tauranga nearly 3 hours from home for the appointment.??

A few weeks before I completed all the paperwork they had sent and duly sent it back and then booked an Air BnB for the night before and the night of my appointment. If this was going to be life changing I wasn’t too sure if I wanted to drive afterwards.??

I drove down and showed up for my allotted appointment 20 minutes early. I was a month early. Now I had checked and rechecked my booking so I was pretty sure I had the right day. The irony of this was not lost on me however as one of the symptoms was you show up on appointments on the wrong day so I was pretty stumped.?

It ended up that I was early but it was their error. Everything they had sent me said the day I had arrived but someone else sent me all the wrong dates.?

I couldn’t go in at my allotted time, however they managed to fit me in later that day. I left and went and got a surf lesson which was amazing way to keep out of my head.??

I showed up for my appointment later that day. To say the psychiatrist was a bit surprised may be a bit of an understatement. She was gobsmacked (Not a technical term!) that I had managed to get so far in life with no diagnosis as I was incredibly high on the scale in ad and hd not just the one side. She didn’t even give me the score for one test as it was off the charts.?

At that moment a lot of stuff fell into place for the first time in my life including

• ?Why all my school reports said I have the ability but needed to try harder, and concentrate more.
• Why I wanted a new job every 2 years because I got bored?
• Why I couldn’t shut my brain off?
• Why I was so good at problem solving but useless at following through.?Its amazing this ever got written…
• Why I needed to stop and recalibrate each and every day.?
• Why I continued to take risks that we couldn’t afford and I knew my wife didn’t want me to take.?
• Why I felt the diagnosis of depression never quite fit.?
• Why I stumbled over words when having a conversation.?
• Why I could never do the accounts in a timely manner.??

It was an eye opening experience.??

So I got a prescription for basically Ritalin which I filled that day.??

I took the medication the next morning about 30 Minutes before I left Tauranga to drive back up thru Auckland to Whangarei to our Head Office.?

It was the quietest period of my life. I tried explaining it to my mates and my children and came up with something like this.?

When I am in a conversation with someone they may get the idea that I am not listening as I can look like I have tuned out. The reality is that I am trying so hard to listen to that person, however I have 20 other people (ideas) trying to speak to me at the same time. When I took the medication they all went away and I could focus on the person in front of me

Between my initial discussion with my GP and the formal diagnosis with the psychiatrist I mentioned the possibility of a diagnosis with some friends. The incredible thing was there were only a couple of people were surprised. Why no one had mentioned it sooner I am not too sure.?

The present and the future:

?So I am now in the learning phase. I am reading books about ADHD?and trying to find out some more information. I am learning to live with a new Medication in my life. I have stopped taking anti depressants and I am trying to rebuild my life after separating from my wife of 20 years who I thought I would be with forever.??

The struggle of running a small and growing business goes on, however I am in a strong place to drive the business forward. I know I have a responsibility to my staff and shareholders and I relish the challenge. I no longer require an afternoon nap. I need less sleep and have a lot more energy.??

In 2023 I understand myself for the first time. The last couple of years I have experienced a lot of pain, a lot of anguish and bitter disappointment and heartbreak.?

2023 is the year I will spend on myself and my personal growth. I will push the boundaries of what I can do with this diagnosis. I will find out whether it is my super power. I want to know what I can achieve now I know what drives me. I have a deeper understanding.??

I have always been incredibly driven and this won’t change, however now I know how to harness the power and the creativity.?

I don’t know whether this will be a super power or not. But it will be me and that’s more important. I can’t change the past but I may be able to shape the future.

I have an amazing group of friends supporting me and an amazing family. A lot has changed.?

So the jury is out on whether it is a blessing or a curse.