THE DH BEAT - March 2023
The DH Effect
We grow people and organizations through self-awareness, trust-building and belonging.
"Enthusiasm is common. Endurance is rare." - Angela Duckworth
The DH Effect Champions of the Month!
In the agriculture industry, being able to adapt to abrupt changes is a requirement for success. As much as ag companies do their best to predict climate and resources, like water supply, growing anything organic is both an art and a science. Just as adaptability and creativity are required to grow natural products, they are also required in the delivery of top-quality customer service. Meet our company champion, Southland Sod Farms, who took the opportunity to train their customer service team with The DH Effect’s strategies that upped their engagement with their ever-changing customer base. Owner, Martin G. shares, "Our company requires every employee to adapt to customer needs with agility, creativity and flexibility. Having The DH Effect train our customer service team helped identify areas where our team developed in both mindset and skill set when engaging with our customers and each other."??
One of Southland Sod’s lead customer service employees and assistant credit manager is Joannah B. Having worked for the company for close to 21 years, Joannah has done all the things in the office. Taking customer service calls, resolving changed orders, and scheduling deliveries throughout Southern California are her daily responsibilities. To succeed, Joannah must rely on her abilities of resilience. After our training, Joannah reflected that “The DH Effect has come into play at a great time for both the office, and for me personally. One of my favorite strategies that I learned from training was Holding Space under the HEART Communication Method. I’m able to use it as a simple reminder of what I need to do to really assess the situation. When I combine this with the Detachment strategy, I experience real success when it comes to managing my emotions and thoughts immediately. Having The DH Effect has already become a game changer for myself and I’m looking forward to sharing as much as possible with my family and team.”
Joannah, you are truly a champion representing Southland Sod Farms!
When you meet The DH Effect Member, Julie Lomakka, you cannot help but feel a boost of love and light. She truly is one of the most generous humans wew have ever met. She has been through many ups and downs, yet she continues to be resilient and shows up for others in profound ways, even sharing her challenges in service of others.?
Recently, Julie was asked to speak at a Women in Transition Event. Her topic was, "Finding our authentic voice during challenging times. How we stay resilient, strong, and tenacious when the times get tough." As a wife, mother and realtor, Julie wears so many hats with grace, humor and compassion.???
About being a member of The DH Effect, Julie says, “I have never had an opportunity to join a group like this, and the experience has fulfilled me in many ways. Hilary and Sonja have created a unique community of belonging and trust. They guide our personal development and self-awareness while inspiring and motivating us. What I learn, I take into the world, and it allows me to be the best version of myself.”?
Gosh, we are blushing! No one tell Julie, but we think we are the lucky ones to get to receive the wisdom and warmth from her resilient approach to life.
Virtue of the Month:
Resilience
Can we be honest? We are kind of tired of people saying that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Often resilience is viewed as something that can only come from extreme adversity. At The DH Effect, we understand that might be true for some; however, we believe resilience can be cultivated with intention BEFORE adversity hits.
Resilience consists of flexibility, compassion, understanding, courage and joy. It is the strength of spirit that helps us take the next step, even when it is hard, or we have been knocked down. We can find laughter, even after sorrow. We are able to hold our pain and our joy. Read on for examples of how you can build your own resilience and the resilience of the children in your life because it is a given that life will bring some adversity, and how we respond to it defines who we are.????
Resilience at Work
I don’t run. Like at all. If I told you tomorrow I was going to run an entire marathon, I bet you would either laugh in my face or be a little worried about my safety making it to the end. It would be ridiculous to expect my body to instantly be ready for the grueling and battering of a long-distance run. Yet, emotionally, we often expect ourselves to be adaptable and resilient in an instant. In fact, we may judge or shame ourselves if we feel we are struggling in anyway.
Recently, we have had clients tell us that the current climate in corporate America is soul crushing. Clearly it can vary from company to company. While there are many things that are out of your control, one important thing is truly within your control - being ready for the inevitable bumps that come, and that starts by filling up how you want to show up.
Our simple tip this month is this - identify your JoyFuel(?) and fill up with it daily. Research supports that we can literally equip ourselves ahead of a crisis by taking the time to fill up on things that bring us joy daily. Some call it self care, self love - we call it necessary resilience training. Sonja and I fill up in different ways, but we are both so consistent. Sonja takes time daily to garden in her beautiful backyard. Her connection to nature in this close way gives her spiritual and emotional reserves for the day ahead. I hike every afternoon around the time my energy starts to dip. The physical exertion, emotional release and spirtual connection in nature equips me to show up how I need to for our clients the rest of the day. Sure, I have meetings and to do lists and and and, but it would take me ten times longer to get things done and I would not be a very nice human if I did not hike. In the long run it allows me to be more creative, productive and efficient.
Now it’s your turn. What is your JoyFuel(?)? How do you get ready for the mental marathon ahead as the landscape of corporate America continues to change?
Resilience in Kids and the Partnership of Home and School?
A child’s ability to become resilient through tough experiences takes practice. Like building up any part of our muscles, we cannot lift 100 pounds before we can lift 50 pounds before we can lift 20 pounds and so on. Creating experiences for our children to apply their skills of resiliency is a scaffolding process so that when adversity does happen in our children’s lives, they know that they have what it takes to get through and recover. Here are two scenarios of what the practice of resilience can look like at home and school:
Home
Your child is struggling with a friendship where the friend consistently taunts your child, making her feel terrible about herself. As her parent, you want this friend to disappear from her life, and feel compelled to tell her to dump this terrible friend and move on. However, your good intention to rescue, fix, protect and control your child’s experience will take away the opportunity for your child to discover her skills to explore and navigate her own experience and decision.?
Instead of making the decision on behalf of your child, you ask these reflective questions that will help her find clarity towards resolution:
School
A teacher is about to pass out graded exams in English class. He knows this was a tough exam and the grades will span from passing to not passing. He also is aware that there were students who showed tremendous work ethics preparing for this exam who did not get stellar grades. To inspire his students to continue working hard and avoid feeling deflated from their grades, he walks around the classroom and says:
“Before I pass out exams, I want to acknowledge what I saw in you this past week. Many of you showed commitment in wanting to learn about our lessons by asking thoughtful questions during class. I noticed how you persevered through assignments, even when they were really challenging. I appreciated the endurance and your diligence towards doing the best you can this week. These grades are guides to what you have learned well as well as areas that you need more help on, and that is it. I am looking forward to helping each one of you continue the progression of learning you have set for yourself.”
When the exams were passed out, students did not see their grades as a measurement of their worth, but instead a tool that will help them continue their learning experiences with someone they can trust to guide them.?
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What We Have Been Up To!
California Future Business Leaders of America Gold Coast Section spent some time “Slaying Dragons and Fixing Crowns” DHE cofounder, Hilary Bilbrey on February 11th at Westlake High School. In this 45-minute workshop, future leaders learned to set community agreements for faster cooperation, bring in playfulness for creativity, find the opportunities in challenges (Positive Intelligence) and take time to celebrate their own spirits so they can better inspire those around them. Students said their biggest takeaway was, “remembering to take time to find the learning, even when you fall short. We will never grow if we never take risks that don’t always work out.”
Beginning on February 18th, DHE cofounder, Sonja Montiel, facilitated the first two sessions of five for an international parent cohort hosted by Interface Education Services. Parents joined from New Zealand, China, Canada and the US to learn about strategies that create trust and belonging within families. For session one, they learned what it means to communicate effectively as a family. In session two, Sonja shared powerful strategies to convert the experiences that don’t go well in our families into growth opportunities, minimizing (even eliminating) blame, shame and guilt within our family system. Every week, families get to apply and practice their strategies at home with ongoing support to ensure they integrate their learning and taking action.
This Month
3/2 Wellness Workshop Retreat at Spa Relais (open to all - free to members)
3/5 Wellness Workshop Retreat at Spa Relais (open to all)
3/6 Energy Infuser (members)
3/6 Fifth Session of 7-Series Virtue Project Facilitator Training?
3/11 Spring Fling Virtual Event (open to all - free to members)
3/13 Energy Infuser (members)
3/13 Sixth Session of 7-Series Virtue Project Facilitator Training?
3/19 East Coast Swing with a DH Twist Event (open to all - member discount)
3/20 Energy Infuser (members)
3/20 Last Session of 7-Series Virtue Project Facilitator Training
Exciting Times With Our Membership!
What are you waiting for?!
Jump right in and become a “Friends with Benefits” member.?
For only $14.99 a month (cancel at any time), you will have access to attend four monthly virtual Energy Infuser sessions LIVE to reflect on how you are showing up in the week, set intentions, connect with others, grow your own dang self and level up in every aspect of your life. These sessions will also be recorded so you will never miss a session.?
In addition, we have infused The DH Effect curriculum in curated in-person experiences from ballroom dancing and rock climbing to wine tasting and weekend retreats (yeah, we like to have fun while doing our decided heart work!). We will also offer small cohort groups throughout the year to infuse decided heart work into all your unique roles, whether that is professional working moms looking for ways to calm the chaos at work and home or company leaders looking to create belonging to increase productivity and retain their talent. We have you covered.?
Members get a discount to all events and cohorts.?
Be prepared to reflect, connect, be courageous and discover pure joy!