Devil’s Dictionary: Artist’s Edition
Paul Mellender
Artist...and that should be enough, wouldn't you agree? If your work speaks for itself, don’t interrupt.
Art-noun \ ??rt \
1. A term used to justify and legitimize terrible ideas.
2. A term of prestige tacked onto nonsense.
3. Something that seems mysterious used to beguile and rob the gullible.
4. An extremely ancient term used to describe extraordinary experiences. This experience being triggered by coherent configurations and combinations that are like to the patterns of the world as gained through experience but amplified into hyperreality or time distortions. (Rare but still accurate).
5. The state of being cognitively manipulated into extra reality.
6. Nested packages of information transmitted via material configurations that in turn create a toolkit of cognitive effects. Ex: A drawing is a configuration of contrasted curves, edges, boundaries, intersections, and values to indicate forms and patterns familiar to what the brain experiences in space. As this hierarchy of data escalates the brain creates meaning and agency. It clarifies pattern from noise. The clearer the patterns the more convincing the drawing. These patterns can be impossible as facts, but acceptable as experience.
Artist-noun art·ist \ ??r-tist \
1. One skilled in the fine arts. Fine arts, of course, being nonsense. Fine arts vs practical arts isn’t a thing.
2. Everyone, in their own special way, being a wizard, saint or prophet. But not really.
3. A do nothing, lazy, pretentious, low level con man.
4. A saint, sometimes called a “master”, whose insights and sensitivity are beyond question.
5. Someone who expresses themselves all over the place without regard or considering if that is even a good idea. (See Expression)
6. Someone who can, through careful study, experiment and practice, induce a state of art by manipulating materials or signals to create cognitive effects (see art definitions 4-6).
Critic- noun crit·ic \ ?kri-tik \ syn vandal, asshole, fraud, parasite, predator
1.A self confirmed expert without expertise in the subject they address.
2.An arm chair quarterback
3.A huckster with an intent toward vandalism as a point of power.
4.One who cannot practise what they preach.
5.A failed personality cult leader.
Critique - noun cri·tique \ kr?-?tēk , kri- \
Etymology: from krienin- to separate or divide. To judge or separate.
1.A popular method of gathering together in a group to pillary one another and vandalize work.
2.A method of mining for faults and errors in the work of others without the necessity of any skill or knowledge in that work.
3.An act of spite under the guise of assistance.
4.A demand to do violence to reason and submit to the arrogance of others for fear of being proclaimed arrogant.
5.A non-sexual sadistic and masochistic relationship between parasites and predators.
6.Arrogating the position of the artist without having to do the artist’s work.
7.The evasion of putting your money where your mouth is.
8.Group assholery.
Epic- noun ep·ic \ ?e-pik \ syn Pop, umph, boom!, bledow, kersplash, poit, and other Don Martin borrowings.
1.A word lacking any definition often said while using explosive hand gestures and a dramatic inflection.
Ex: “We need this logo to be epic!”, “That image needs to be more epic! More ‘umph!’, you know?”
2.A term indicating bluffing. Often best addressed by the phrase “shut up.”
Expression (or the theory of expression in art)- noun ex·pres·sion \ ik-?spre-sh?n \
1. A late 19th century philosophical idea of what art is from the likes of Croce and Tolstoy. Mainly, based in the idea of magic and voodoo dolls but disguised in philosophical language. Ex-press meaning to push out was, in summary, meant to indicate the artist was taking their inner self and putting it into outer objects. Harry Potter fans might consider a horcrux. But the “horcrux theory of art” sounds stupid. The theory of expression was and is often linked to expressing emotions. Emote means “move out”. So expressing emotions is to “press out move outs”. I am starting to prefer the horcrux theory.
2. A fossil of an idea showing how far we have come in understanding when compared with recent cognitive science.
3. A word, of unknown meaning, used to authorize something someone called “art".
4. A term used to emotionally blackmail others when an idea or claimed piece of art is questioned. The word “personal” is often attached to endow the right to be personally insulted. Ex: “How can you question his personal expression? Who are you to judge?” This idea implies a mysterious ownership.
Just -adjective \ ?j?st \
A word used by conmen and clients to undermine everything you do and everything you are. An attempt to minimize the extraordinary. Making the worst cause seem the better in a single word. Smallifying what is big. Smally Bigs.
Objective -adjective ob·jec·tive \ ?b-?jek-tiv , ?b- \
1.Not subjective (see Subjective).
2.As perceived without distortion or interpretation…making it not a perception. The act of perception distorts, translates, recombines, and confabulates. If you perceive it you already broke it.
3.Quantitative, though this idea rarely comes up as it is frowned upon to think art may involve calculation, analysis, or unemotional/unromantic things.
Perspective-noun per·spec·tive \ p?r-?spek-tiv \
1. a term used in art to note you know an art term. See also “use” as in “use of color”.
2. A way of saying you understand the point of view of another without any knowledge of that point of view. Speaking for another in such a way as to shrug off responsibility to a generalized scapegoat. An indicator one is pretending to be the representative of a demographic one has never consulted.
3.A term used in the attempt to become the vox populi, and therefore the vox dei without first consulting populi or dei.
Ex:
"From the audience perspective, this terrible idea is justified”.
"From a player perspective this offensively stupid idea I’m espousing is legitimized.”
"From the perspective of these voiceless suckers you can’t verify, what I’m saying has authority.”
Pop - verb \ ?p?p \ syn Epic
1.In art, this means, “I have no idea what I’m talking about”. Ex: “We need something epic! Something that really pops!” “When placed side by side these really pop!”
2.A word used to suggest excitement, when nothing exciting is happening.
3.A word used to indicated someone does not know the properties and attributes of creating an experience, but can clumsily discribe their experience.
4.Describing something that draws attention, but not understanding it is many complicated things happening simultaneously.
5.A diagnostic word to discern a bullshitter.
Style-noun \ ?stī(-?)l \
1. A description of the limit of one’s abilities.
2. An attempt to endow authority to a lesser set.
3. Proclaiming one’s vices as virtues.
4. Carefully, and with expertise, excluding some data, while amplifying other data to compensate for the exclusion, thereby giving a coherent, but noticeably idiosyncratic experience. (Antiquated use).
5. Using a confined, economic, limit of information to great effect. (Rare).
Subjective- adjective sub·jec·tive \ (?)s?b-?jek-tiv \
1.A term used to minimize importance based in a philosophical misunderstanding of a dichotomy between subjective and objective, which was left aside long ago. It is often used with “just” or “only”. The quantitative and qualitative, and the thresholds between them in cognition are not considered.
2.An antique idea regarding a false dichotomy between subject and object. The subject/objective dichotomy is extinct, as overlap and gradients with the ideas were quickly found. They describe proportions of measure and affect in signal interpretation.
3.Often wrongly used to mean “personal preference.” Without understanding that preference can also be built and configured and rewritten using quantitative measures.
4.A dismissive word best used as a signal to dismiss.
5.The clumsy, distorted, way of saying “qualitative”.
World view- noun\ ?w?rl(d)-?vyü \
1. A tangential uninformed opinion about things of which one is unacquainted.
2. Claiming a cosmic point of view when regarding one’s navel.
3. Disregarding the intricate and impossibly complex pursuit of knowledge of the world for worship of a very small baetylus or omphalos.
4. Being provincial but sounding sophisticated.
Product / Game Designer
19 小时前Is this a work of art or a critique.. This should be taught in every "art" school.
Clever and experienced professional writer for hire.
11 个月Hilarious.
Principal UI Artist at Intrepid Studios
6 年Smally Bigs? That guy that got off'd by the Two-Pack guy?
Think for Yourself. Stay Free. Trust Yourself.
6 年Give your mind a workout. Read these definitions. You'll expand the range of your thinking.
Vice President of Design at Penn Design Group
6 年Dear old Uncle Ambrose remains as relevant as always.