The Devil You Know

The challenges my coaching clients share with me are endless and thought provoking ones and this reflection was exactly based on the affirmation of one of my clients in her last session:

The Devil You Know…

"The Devil you know is better than the Devil you don’t" is an age-old saying that suggests it's often safer or more comfortable to deal with a familiar situation or person, even if they are unpleasant, rather than risk facing an unknown one. This phrase has been used in various contexts—from personal relationships to business decisions—and serves as a reminder that the unknown can be more daunting than the familiar, even if the familiar is not ideal.

The origins of the phrase "the Devil you know" are somewhat unclear, but its roots can be traced back to ancient proverbs and literature. One of the earliest known written references to a similar idea can be found in Geoffrey Chaucer's "Troilus and Criseyde," written in the late 14th century. Chaucer wrote, "Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t." While the exact phrase we use today may not have been penned by Chaucer, the sentiment is clearly present.

In the 16th century, William Shakespeare also touched upon a similar theme in his play The Two Gentlemen of Verona,"*where he wrote, "With eager feeding, food doth choke the feeder." Although not directly related, it highlights the dangers of unfamiliar indulgences.?

At its core, "the Devil you know" is about the human tendency to prefer familiar discomfort over unfamiliar uncertainty. This phrase speaks to the fear of the unknown, a powerful motivator that often keeps people in less-than-ideal situations simply because they are accustomed to them.

The phrase highlights the psychological comfort that familiarity provides. Even if a situation or relationship is unpleasant, the predictability of it can be reassuring. Humans are creatures of habit, and change often involves a level of risk and unpredictability that can be anxiety-inducing. As a result, many people prefer to stay in a known situation rather than face the uncertainties that come with change.

"The Devil you know" also reflects our natural risk aversion. In decision-making, people often weigh potential gains against potential losses. When the outcomes are uncertain, the fear of negative consequences can outweigh the potential benefits of a new opportunity. This risk aversion can lead individuals to stick with what they know, even if it is not the best option available.

Another aspect of this phrase is the cost associated with change. The effort required to adapt to a new situation, learn new skills, or build new relationships can be daunting and people may find the potential rewards of change are not worth the effort or risk involved.

The phrase "the Devil you know" is used in a variety of contexts, from personal relationships to business strategies and beyond. Let's explore some of the key areas where this saying is often applied.

In personal relationships, the phrase is commonly used to describe situations where individuals stay in relationships that are not fulfilling or even toxic because they are familiar. The fear of being alone or the uncertainty of finding a better partner can keep people in unhealthy relationships. As a matter of fact, the comfort of the known can sometimes outweigh the potential benefits of seeking something better.

In the business world, "the Devil you know" is often used to describe decisions made to stick with familiar processes, strategies, or partners, even when they may not be the most effective or efficient. Companies may choose to maintain the status quo rather than risk implementing new strategies or technologies that could disrupt their operations.

A company may continue working with a supplier that is reliable but expensive because they are familiar with the supplier's processes and trust their ability to deliver. Switching to a new supplier with potentially better rates and services involves risk, and the company may decide that the potential cost savings are not worth the uncertainty of working with an unknown entity.

In politics, the phrase is often used to describe voters' tendencies to stick with incumbent leaders or parties, even when they are dissatisfied with their performance. The fear of what a new leader or party might bring can lead people to vote for the familiar, even if it means continuing with subpar governance.

During elections, voters may re-elect a politician who has not met their expectations because they fear that the opposition candidate might be worse. The uncertainty of how a new leader might govern can lead people to choose "the Devil they know," even if it means tolerating mediocrity.

On a personal level, "the Devil you know" can apply to individual growth and development. People may resist stepping out of their comfort zones to pursue new opportunities, skills, or experiences because they fear failure or the unknown challenges they might face.

An individual may stay in a job that they find unfulfilling because the prospect of changing careers or pursuing further education is intimidating. The fear of the unknown—whether they will succeed in a new field, find job satisfaction, or maintain financial stability—can keep them from pursuing personal growth and change.

How do you break free from The Devil You Know?

While "the Devil you know" emphasizes the comfort of the familiar, it's important to recognize when it might be holding us back from achieving our full potential. Here are some strategies for overcoming the fear of the unknown and embracing change:

?1. Assess the Risks and Benefits

Take the time to weigh the potential risks and benefits of making a change. Consider what you might gain from taking a leap into the unknown and whether the potential rewards outweigh the risks.

2. Gather Information

Reducing uncertainty can help alleviate the fear of the unknown. Gather as much information as possible about the new situation or opportunity. The more you know, the more informed your decision will be, making the unknown less intimidating.

3. Start Small

If the thought of making a big change is overwhelming, start small. Take incremental steps towards your goal, gradually building confidence and familiarity with the new situation. Consistency is key.

4. Seek Support

Reach out to friends, family, ?coaches or mentors who can provide guidance and support as you navigate change. Having a support system can make the unknown feel less daunting and help you stay motivated.

5. Embrace Uncertainty

Acknowledge that uncertainty is a natural part of life and that it can lead to growth and new opportunities. Embrace the unknown as a chance to learn and expand your horizons.

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"The Devil you know" is a powerful reminder of the comfort and security that familiarity provides. However, it is important to recognize when this comfort is holding us back from pursuing new opportunities and reaching our full potential in every aspect of our lives. By understandin the psychological and emotional factors that drive our preference for the familiar, we can make more informed decisions and embrace change when it leads to growth and improvement. Ultimately, balancing the comfort of the known with the potential rewards of the unknown can lead to a more fulfilling and successful life.

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